If you have asked your teenager about the problems in her life, she will probably tell you that you are one of them.
Not very comfortable, is it, having an adolescent in the house? Your teenager, going through his physical and emotional changes ranging from pimples, raging hormones and tempers, rebelliousness and tantrums, makes you wonder where that sweet child who used to hold your finger has disappeared.
Going through the teenage years can be overwhelming for any youngster, but being the parents of overwhelmed teenagers is no child's play either.
So, what should the traumatized parent be aware of? 1.
Respect your teenager's issues.
Teenage issues may seem trivial to you, they are not, to your teenager.
Hard as it may seem, try to look at their point of view.
While a pimple may not be as significant to you as your tax deadline, it is, to your teenager.
Adolescents have many issues that they have to deal with, beginning from the fact that they have realized their parents are not perfect, to marks and grades, to tensions about career plans, to peer pressure about drugs, hairstyle, body piercing, or even nail polish colour.
Do not trivialize or ignore any of the issues they bring up.
Discuss them openly, open-mindedly, and lay down some ground rules that they can follow.
If you show them respect, chances are, they will reciprocate.
2.
Be a parent first, they have enough friends.
While most of us grew up with the idea that understanding parents are like friends, it is more important to be a parent first.
You can be their friends once they are older.
Right now, they need guidance, direction, and basic ground rules.
They like to rebel to test their limits.
Do not be the father with the rod, but let you teenagers know that they can come to you for any help, at any point of time.
3.
Choose your battles Give your teenager the freedom to do some things individually.
If you pick on most things they do, like their clothes or hairstyles, they will begin resenting you, calling you nags, and eventually ignoring most things you request.
Instead, pick on things that are really significant, tell them the consequences of breaking certain rules, and then follow through with the consequences.
Remember, teenage is a turbulent age, the adolescent is going through intense physical and emotional changes, is discovering his/her individuality and sexuality, and is experiencing freedom and testing limits.
As a parent, you need to keep channels of communication open.
Talk to your teenager about your everyday life, not in a didactic or preachy way, but in a matter-of-fact way.
Ask them for suggestions, and you might be pleasantly surprised by what they have to offer.
Respect them, so that they respect you, and discuss issues with them, so that you can offer suggestions to their problems, and not become one of them.
Not very comfortable, is it, having an adolescent in the house? Your teenager, going through his physical and emotional changes ranging from pimples, raging hormones and tempers, rebelliousness and tantrums, makes you wonder where that sweet child who used to hold your finger has disappeared.
Going through the teenage years can be overwhelming for any youngster, but being the parents of overwhelmed teenagers is no child's play either.
So, what should the traumatized parent be aware of? 1.
Respect your teenager's issues.
Teenage issues may seem trivial to you, they are not, to your teenager.
Hard as it may seem, try to look at their point of view.
While a pimple may not be as significant to you as your tax deadline, it is, to your teenager.
Adolescents have many issues that they have to deal with, beginning from the fact that they have realized their parents are not perfect, to marks and grades, to tensions about career plans, to peer pressure about drugs, hairstyle, body piercing, or even nail polish colour.
Do not trivialize or ignore any of the issues they bring up.
Discuss them openly, open-mindedly, and lay down some ground rules that they can follow.
If you show them respect, chances are, they will reciprocate.
2.
Be a parent first, they have enough friends.
While most of us grew up with the idea that understanding parents are like friends, it is more important to be a parent first.
You can be their friends once they are older.
Right now, they need guidance, direction, and basic ground rules.
They like to rebel to test their limits.
Do not be the father with the rod, but let you teenagers know that they can come to you for any help, at any point of time.
3.
Choose your battles Give your teenager the freedom to do some things individually.
If you pick on most things they do, like their clothes or hairstyles, they will begin resenting you, calling you nags, and eventually ignoring most things you request.
Instead, pick on things that are really significant, tell them the consequences of breaking certain rules, and then follow through with the consequences.
Remember, teenage is a turbulent age, the adolescent is going through intense physical and emotional changes, is discovering his/her individuality and sexuality, and is experiencing freedom and testing limits.
As a parent, you need to keep channels of communication open.
Talk to your teenager about your everyday life, not in a didactic or preachy way, but in a matter-of-fact way.
Ask them for suggestions, and you might be pleasantly surprised by what they have to offer.
Respect them, so that they respect you, and discuss issues with them, so that you can offer suggestions to their problems, and not become one of them.