While it can be very distressing for a parent dealing with difficult child behaviour, in most cases the parent's behaviour is hardly noticed (by the parent) as a possible obstacle towards better child behaviour since parents really mean to discipline bad child behaviour out of love, unless it is an obvious child abuse case.
However, a mistake most parents do is to associate and confuse discipline with punishment and it is completely wrong to do so.
As a generic term, difficult children behaviour may refer to any of the following; Tantrums, nagging, defiance, abuse,arguments, aggression, screaming, biting,hitting, outbursts, violence, disrespect etc.
Yes, these behaviours can really be annoying.
Note that the above are general and may, or may not be linked to specific challenging children behaviour such as Asperger's Syndrome,Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and many more.
But just think about this for a moment.
Fact: All parents have been children at one point and have gone through at least all stages of baby, toddler and adolescent.
Of course with teenagers it can be a completely different story.
Now who can put their hands on their hearts and say they honestly remember every detail of how they behaved from 0 to 5 years? It's human nature, no one can.
Now can you imagine aged about 2 years and really feeling thirsty, I mean spitting feathers, and you ask for a drink from your parent who had just picked a phone and was about to make a call to a friend, and he/she asked you to wait for a bit then started chatting away.
What would you do, say after 5 minutes and you were still waiting? What about after 10 minutes? Well, I'll leave it to you.
The point here is that sometimes children's behaviour badly deteriorates because they get provoked, or desperate due to failure by the parent to recognize the legitimacy and urgency of the child's needs.
This is an example of bad parent's behaviour.
Bad parent behaviour can also be any of the following; Smacking, neglect, shouting, punishment, aggression, child bribery, intimidation and unnecessary harsh restriction.
Excuse me? Did I just hear someone shouting, "We do all these things to protect them!" Yes, I agree (but only just) so calm down.
Whereas these may not be done with bad intent, the truth is that just as the child's behaviour can be so annoying, the entire parent's behaviours listed above can be so irritating to the child, and worse still can be damaging by instilling fear in the child and has the potential to affect their development process and future mental stability.
Really, bottom line is that whilst on the one hand children behaviour can drive parents so fanatical because they get stressed by other social demands and the last thing a parent need is all the nagging and disrespect on the other hand, children need their parents' love and affection, not to be shouted at for apparently "no good reason" There is need for intervention to transform this unwanted and damaging behaviour.
So whose fault is it? Well, whereas children behaviour difficulties are not the parent' s fault, it is in the parent's best interests to initiate the transformation process whereby the parent implement effective parenting strategies that can positively contribute towards the child's behaviour change.
However, unless and until the parent identifies why the child's behaviour is unbecoming, then the battle of minds between the child and parent would remain a vicious circle, only to bring a lot more problems in the future.
Transforming bad children behaviour to good behaviour is a process that requires determination, dedication and sincerity amongst other requirements.
However, with appropriate guidance, it can be relatively easy to understand why your child behaves the way he/she do and you can learn effective ways to stop and transform the unacceptable children behaviour and re-model your child's behaviour through correction as opposed to punishment.
However, a mistake most parents do is to associate and confuse discipline with punishment and it is completely wrong to do so.
As a generic term, difficult children behaviour may refer to any of the following; Tantrums, nagging, defiance, abuse,arguments, aggression, screaming, biting,hitting, outbursts, violence, disrespect etc.
Yes, these behaviours can really be annoying.
Note that the above are general and may, or may not be linked to specific challenging children behaviour such as Asperger's Syndrome,Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and many more.
But just think about this for a moment.
Fact: All parents have been children at one point and have gone through at least all stages of baby, toddler and adolescent.
Of course with teenagers it can be a completely different story.
Now who can put their hands on their hearts and say they honestly remember every detail of how they behaved from 0 to 5 years? It's human nature, no one can.
Now can you imagine aged about 2 years and really feeling thirsty, I mean spitting feathers, and you ask for a drink from your parent who had just picked a phone and was about to make a call to a friend, and he/she asked you to wait for a bit then started chatting away.
What would you do, say after 5 minutes and you were still waiting? What about after 10 minutes? Well, I'll leave it to you.
The point here is that sometimes children's behaviour badly deteriorates because they get provoked, or desperate due to failure by the parent to recognize the legitimacy and urgency of the child's needs.
This is an example of bad parent's behaviour.
Bad parent behaviour can also be any of the following; Smacking, neglect, shouting, punishment, aggression, child bribery, intimidation and unnecessary harsh restriction.
Excuse me? Did I just hear someone shouting, "We do all these things to protect them!" Yes, I agree (but only just) so calm down.
Whereas these may not be done with bad intent, the truth is that just as the child's behaviour can be so annoying, the entire parent's behaviours listed above can be so irritating to the child, and worse still can be damaging by instilling fear in the child and has the potential to affect their development process and future mental stability.
Really, bottom line is that whilst on the one hand children behaviour can drive parents so fanatical because they get stressed by other social demands and the last thing a parent need is all the nagging and disrespect on the other hand, children need their parents' love and affection, not to be shouted at for apparently "no good reason" There is need for intervention to transform this unwanted and damaging behaviour.
So whose fault is it? Well, whereas children behaviour difficulties are not the parent' s fault, it is in the parent's best interests to initiate the transformation process whereby the parent implement effective parenting strategies that can positively contribute towards the child's behaviour change.
However, unless and until the parent identifies why the child's behaviour is unbecoming, then the battle of minds between the child and parent would remain a vicious circle, only to bring a lot more problems in the future.
Transforming bad children behaviour to good behaviour is a process that requires determination, dedication and sincerity amongst other requirements.
However, with appropriate guidance, it can be relatively easy to understand why your child behaves the way he/she do and you can learn effective ways to stop and transform the unacceptable children behaviour and re-model your child's behaviour through correction as opposed to punishment.