Question: Please help me help my scaredy-cat!
My cat, Clover becomes absolutely hysterical each time I take her to get her nails trimmed at the vet's office - at one point, there were two adults trying to restrain her long enough to trim her nails and believe it or not, they were unable to do it. Even when she gets into the car enroute the vet, she starts to cry and then I get emotional too.
I adopted Clover at only 5 weeks old and I'm the only person she's ever been around.
Could this be an issue with lack of social skills?
Answer:
I think you are spot on with your analysis of Clover's fear of "strangers." Ideally, kittens should remain with their mother cat until at least eight weeks, and preferably, 12 weeks. They need that time to learn social skills from their mother: how to relate to humans, to other cats and/or other pets in the household. Since you became Clover's "surrogate mom" when she was at the tender age of five weeks, she would be dependent on you for learning these social skills.
So, the vet visits for nail trimming would be extremely traumatic to her for at least three reasons:
- She's being forced to leave her home, the only place she feels safe
- She's exposed to strange humans in a strange atmosphere filled with strange smells
- These strangers are forcibly trying to commit a "violation" on her, e.g. trimming her claws
The solution to the immediate problem is an easy one. Learn to trim Clover's claws yourself. Since she feels safe with you, that's one hurdle overcome.
Just wait until she is sleepy and content on your lap. Start by just holding her paw in your hand and gently pressing it to expose the claws - very non-threatening. After a few days of accustoming her to that, you can try trimming one nail. If that goes well, try another. I have complete instructions on my How To page on Trimming Claws.
Eventually, it would be very desirable if you could accustom Clover to other humans, preferably by enlisting a friend who likes cats. Have that person visit you and bring with them an interactive toy, such as Da Bird. (You can buy the toy and give it to your visitor before he/she comes, so Clover won't see it.) Ask your visitor to ignore Clover when she arrives at your home. She can say "hello, Clover," but otherwise should make no effort to approach her. Have your visitor sit in a chair and dangle Da Bird enticingly, still ignoring the cat while she talks quietly to you. The bird's "flying action" is irresistible to cats, and in a short time Clover should be playing with it.
After a short period of play, your friend should leave, taking Da Bird with her. The point is to associate this "strange human" with a pleasurable activity. After a couple more visits, going through the same motions each time, the friend can bring a food treat to Clover. A treat that my cats find irresistible is bonito tuna flakes. They can be found at most pet supply stores and are marketed under different name: Kitty Kaviar, Tuna Flakes, or Cosmic Tuna Flakes are a few.
She can offer the treat directly to Clover, or if Clover is still shy, put some in a dish near herself, so that kitty will associate the treat with your friend.
Online Sources for Bonito Tuna Flakes
After a few more visits, Clover should feel completely comfortable with this previous stranger, and you can ask someone else to try the same experiment, with a different toy and treat this time. Hopefully, eventually Clover will be comfortable with several other people. The trick is slow and gradual exposure in a non-threatening atmosphere: Clover's home.
The vet clinic may always be a frightening experience for Clover, because of her previous negative association with it. Their suggestion of a "mild, natural sedative" is a good one. I'm not sure what they specifically recommended, but Bach Flower Essences, in particular Bach Rescue Remedy can be very helpful for fearful cats. As your vet mentioned, just a couple of drops in a water bowl can have a calming effect on cats. You might also want to try it when you expect company, particularly in case of a large crowd.
Also, try to curb your own emotions when taking Clover to the vet. You're only "telegraphing" your fear to her, so try to be upbeat and positive about the visit. By the way, Rescue Remedy can also be used by humans for the same purpose. A couple of drops in a glass of water can have a very calming effect.
Although Clover may never convert completely from "Scaredy-Cat" to "Ms. Society Queen," I hope that some of these suggestions will help overcome her fear of strangers.