Kids aren't stupid.
They learn quickly.
Bad mouthing your ex to them is only a poor reflection of who you are which almost always backfires.
There is no advantage in doing it.
It doesn't make your children love you more and love them less.
It only teaches the child to become skeptical of love and ultimately, to disrespect your opinions and authority.
Negative Reinforcement Everything that we have become we have learned.
We have learned through either positive or negative reinforcement.
When children see and hear their parent putting each other down, the parent is teaching their child to devalue the people in their life.
They are teaching the child not to accept accountability for themselves and the responsibility they have contributed to the outcomes of situations in their life.
These feeling manifest themselves in anger and self loathing which often in the parent-child relationship forces the child to bottle up his feelings and opinions until they explode in a negative display of attention.
It's Not About Them, It's About You Your relationship with your partner is your relationship.
It's an entirely different dynamic than that your child has.
It is not for you to determine the health or direction of the relationship your children has with their other parent.
When you start talking negatively to your child they digest about 10% of what you say.
The other 90% of what they digest is the way you say things and your body language.
Leave your internal adult thoughts and baggage for your adult friends and family.
Children Need Your Love Unconsciously, children are always seeking approval and positive reinforcement.
What you say either instills this acceptance or it creates anxiety and insecurity in your child.
Often when placing children in the middle of your disputes the child adopts the mentality that they somehow are the cause for rift between you and your spouse.
They aren't receiving love and affection from either one of you as you both vent your frustrations to a young mind who doesn't have the capacity to comprehend the dynamics of adulthood.
Hence they either withdraw or they act out with temper or illness in an attempt to gain the positive and loving attention then require.
Children are often much smarter than they're given credit for.
They take in every word, facial expression, and tonal inflection of the voice like a sponge.
Failing to realize your negative effects on your child will eventually develop a relationship that becomes one of resentment, anger and mistrust.
And without trust there is no respect.
 Something vitally important that every parent establishes with their child.
Remember as an adult, your child will develop their impression of you by the your behavior now.
Be sure you're always making the best impression.
If you would like to develop better relationships with your children I would enjoy talking with you.
Feel free to take the first step to better parenting by contacting me at elliot@ezlifesyles.
ca
They learn quickly.
Bad mouthing your ex to them is only a poor reflection of who you are which almost always backfires.
There is no advantage in doing it.
It doesn't make your children love you more and love them less.
It only teaches the child to become skeptical of love and ultimately, to disrespect your opinions and authority.
Negative Reinforcement Everything that we have become we have learned.
We have learned through either positive or negative reinforcement.
When children see and hear their parent putting each other down, the parent is teaching their child to devalue the people in their life.
They are teaching the child not to accept accountability for themselves and the responsibility they have contributed to the outcomes of situations in their life.
These feeling manifest themselves in anger and self loathing which often in the parent-child relationship forces the child to bottle up his feelings and opinions until they explode in a negative display of attention.
It's Not About Them, It's About You Your relationship with your partner is your relationship.
It's an entirely different dynamic than that your child has.
It is not for you to determine the health or direction of the relationship your children has with their other parent.
When you start talking negatively to your child they digest about 10% of what you say.
The other 90% of what they digest is the way you say things and your body language.
Leave your internal adult thoughts and baggage for your adult friends and family.
Children Need Your Love Unconsciously, children are always seeking approval and positive reinforcement.
What you say either instills this acceptance or it creates anxiety and insecurity in your child.
Often when placing children in the middle of your disputes the child adopts the mentality that they somehow are the cause for rift between you and your spouse.
They aren't receiving love and affection from either one of you as you both vent your frustrations to a young mind who doesn't have the capacity to comprehend the dynamics of adulthood.
Hence they either withdraw or they act out with temper or illness in an attempt to gain the positive and loving attention then require.
Children are often much smarter than they're given credit for.
They take in every word, facial expression, and tonal inflection of the voice like a sponge.
Failing to realize your negative effects on your child will eventually develop a relationship that becomes one of resentment, anger and mistrust.
And without trust there is no respect.
 Something vitally important that every parent establishes with their child.
Remember as an adult, your child will develop their impression of you by the your behavior now.
Be sure you're always making the best impression.
If you would like to develop better relationships with your children I would enjoy talking with you.
Feel free to take the first step to better parenting by contacting me at elliot@ezlifesyles.
ca