One way to teach children responsibility in the everyday work of family life it to have them report back after they complete a task. Many parents give assignments assuming that their kids are completing the job, often resulting in frustration when they later find out that the job wasn't done.
One mom, Heather, said, "When I tell my five-year-old son, James, to go get his shoes on because we've got to leave, he doesn't come back. When I go look, I find him sitting on the floor playing with his cars. And it's not just his shoes. Whenever I tell him to do something he gets sidetracked. I have to yell at him continually to get anything done."
Heather needs to use her frustration to identify the cause of the problem. James is easily distracted, but the deeper issue has to do with irresponsibility. Yes, he's only five years old, but James needs to learn to follow through with a job his mom gives him. This is the beginning of responsibility training.
Most children don't naturally feel an internal weight of responsibility. You can help develop it by requiring them to report back. Heather may say, "James, you need to get your shoes and bring them back to me now. I'm going to wait right here in the doorway for you to report back."
As you wait, watch for distraction. At first James may need very close monitoring but as he realizes that he needs to report back and that Mom hasn't forgotten about the job, he'll feel the pressure to accomplish the task. Children who do a job part way, easily get distracted, or don't complete jobs, need closer supervision, smaller tasks, and more frequent times of checking in.
Even older children sometimes have a problem with irresponsibility. Yelling isn't necessary—more accountability is. It takes work to require kids to report back, but your investment now will give your children a valuable gift. Reporting back after completing an assignment is an adult skill. Employers appreciate it when employees report back. Whether children are 3, 8, 12, or 15, they need to learn this valuable skill.
Responsibility can be defined in different ways for different children. For the child who is easily distracted, you might define responsibility as "sticking to a task until it is completed and you report back." For a child who tends to do a half-hearted job, you might define responsibility as "doing a job thoroughly without being reminded." For the child who tends to do what you said and not what you meant, you might say, "Responsibility is completing the job up to the expectations of the person giving the task." In each case you're teaching children what it means to do a job with a sense of obligation to complete it well.
When a child receives an instruction, the child should feel a little uncomfortable. That uncomfortable feeling is what responsible people feel when they have an unfinished assignment. Just imagine your own to-do list. If the time is ticking away and your to-do list isn't getting smaller, you feel a bit uncomfortable and put in more effort. Children often don't feel that uncomfortable feeling because they aren't yet responsible. You can teach them that quality by increasing the discomfort during the instruction process. We're not suggesting you yell at or be mean to your children. Requiring kids to report back puts a definite end to the instruction, freeing children because the task is complete. They feel a bit uncomfortable, knowing that their work will be evaluated and that someone is waiting for them to report back.
Many parents start instructions well but don't end them well. Instead of a feeling of satisfaction of a job well done, the child feels guilty wondering when Mom is going to find out that he pushed the clothes under the bed or didn't sweep the walk. Parents give their children a gift by requiring that the child report back. If the job wasn't done up to expectation then the child isn't released until the task is completed. After the parents check the work and release the child they're giving their children the gift of a free conscience. The child has completed the task and is now free to go. Unfortunately, many children don't ever receive that gift and instead live with continual guilt of jobs done incompletely or inadequately.
The story of David is a fun one for kids because he was a hero. But being a hero for David didn't start when he killed Goliath. It started much earlier in the small things of life. David, like many children today, took care of the animals. He had sheep duty. He also practiced his musical instrument so that he could get a job in the palace. And his father could trust him to do an errand take the cheeses to the commander in the army. In short, David was responsible early and God chose the young man to do bigger things for him.
Interestingly enough, David took the place of a king who wasn't responsible. His name was Saul. He didn't obey God's instructions. 1 Samuel 15:11 says, "I am grieved that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions." So, the question for your child is, "Would you rather be like David or Saul?" One was faithful in the small things and eventually became a hero. The other had a great job and lost it because he didn't have the ability to do what was asked of him.
 The roots of responsibility are taught to children as you ask them to follow directions and report back. It may seem trivial so some but it provides the foundation for more significant tasks of responsibility in the future.
One mom, Heather, said, "When I tell my five-year-old son, James, to go get his shoes on because we've got to leave, he doesn't come back. When I go look, I find him sitting on the floor playing with his cars. And it's not just his shoes. Whenever I tell him to do something he gets sidetracked. I have to yell at him continually to get anything done."
Heather needs to use her frustration to identify the cause of the problem. James is easily distracted, but the deeper issue has to do with irresponsibility. Yes, he's only five years old, but James needs to learn to follow through with a job his mom gives him. This is the beginning of responsibility training.
Most children don't naturally feel an internal weight of responsibility. You can help develop it by requiring them to report back. Heather may say, "James, you need to get your shoes and bring them back to me now. I'm going to wait right here in the doorway for you to report back."
As you wait, watch for distraction. At first James may need very close monitoring but as he realizes that he needs to report back and that Mom hasn't forgotten about the job, he'll feel the pressure to accomplish the task. Children who do a job part way, easily get distracted, or don't complete jobs, need closer supervision, smaller tasks, and more frequent times of checking in.
Even older children sometimes have a problem with irresponsibility. Yelling isn't necessary—more accountability is. It takes work to require kids to report back, but your investment now will give your children a valuable gift. Reporting back after completing an assignment is an adult skill. Employers appreciate it when employees report back. Whether children are 3, 8, 12, or 15, they need to learn this valuable skill.
Responsibility can be defined in different ways for different children. For the child who is easily distracted, you might define responsibility as "sticking to a task until it is completed and you report back." For a child who tends to do a half-hearted job, you might define responsibility as "doing a job thoroughly without being reminded." For the child who tends to do what you said and not what you meant, you might say, "Responsibility is completing the job up to the expectations of the person giving the task." In each case you're teaching children what it means to do a job with a sense of obligation to complete it well.
When a child receives an instruction, the child should feel a little uncomfortable. That uncomfortable feeling is what responsible people feel when they have an unfinished assignment. Just imagine your own to-do list. If the time is ticking away and your to-do list isn't getting smaller, you feel a bit uncomfortable and put in more effort. Children often don't feel that uncomfortable feeling because they aren't yet responsible. You can teach them that quality by increasing the discomfort during the instruction process. We're not suggesting you yell at or be mean to your children. Requiring kids to report back puts a definite end to the instruction, freeing children because the task is complete. They feel a bit uncomfortable, knowing that their work will be evaluated and that someone is waiting for them to report back.
Many parents start instructions well but don't end them well. Instead of a feeling of satisfaction of a job well done, the child feels guilty wondering when Mom is going to find out that he pushed the clothes under the bed or didn't sweep the walk. Parents give their children a gift by requiring that the child report back. If the job wasn't done up to expectation then the child isn't released until the task is completed. After the parents check the work and release the child they're giving their children the gift of a free conscience. The child has completed the task and is now free to go. Unfortunately, many children don't ever receive that gift and instead live with continual guilt of jobs done incompletely or inadequately.
The story of David is a fun one for kids because he was a hero. But being a hero for David didn't start when he killed Goliath. It started much earlier in the small things of life. David, like many children today, took care of the animals. He had sheep duty. He also practiced his musical instrument so that he could get a job in the palace. And his father could trust him to do an errand take the cheeses to the commander in the army. In short, David was responsible early and God chose the young man to do bigger things for him.
Interestingly enough, David took the place of a king who wasn't responsible. His name was Saul. He didn't obey God's instructions. 1 Samuel 15:11 says, "I am grieved that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions." So, the question for your child is, "Would you rather be like David or Saul?" One was faithful in the small things and eventually became a hero. The other had a great job and lost it because he didn't have the ability to do what was asked of him.
 The roots of responsibility are taught to children as you ask them to follow directions and report back. It may seem trivial so some but it provides the foundation for more significant tasks of responsibility in the future.