What Is The Most Important Thing That Parents Need If They Have A Crying Baby?
I guess the real answer to this question depends on who you are asking.
There are many experts who will give you advice, much of which is outdated, contradictory or even downright WRONG.
For example, some will say that what you need is to control your baby and make them do exactly what it is you want them to.
Others will completely disregard or dismiss the importance of what it is you are going through by saying that it is "only a phase", and your baby will soon come out of it.
Then there are those that offer the latest in baby-calming techniques as well as medication, soothing CD's etc.
OK then, I hear you ask, what would your single most important thing be that parents need to have in place if they have a crying baby? Well, from my perspective I would have to say that it would be support.
One of the problems facing parents is that they can often feel trapped in their own feelings of desperation, helplessness and overwhelm as they desperately struggle for ways to help their baby in any way they can.
In doing this, they can easily shut themselves away from external sources of support and feel as if they have to do it all on their own.
To me, support falls into three categories: Loved Ones - in order for a mother to avoid these feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion and disempowerment, she needs to have access to people around her who are willing and able to give her a break from the intensity of looking after her baby.
These are most typically her partner, parents, in-laws, extended family etc.
Friends - the friends in this category are not just any friends, but those who are either in a similar situation are have recently been there.
It is not so helpful talking to your friends with no children or those with older children about how difficult it is for you as there will be less empathy and understanding available.
Ideal friends in this category would include those from ante-natal and local NCT groups as well as other close friends that you know that have babies in their lives.
Professional - parents who feel overwhelmed or at a complete loss of what to do in order to help their baby should also seek out some sort of professional help.
This is where there is a surplus of information and experts available - some good, some bad.
So, what should you be looking for in a professional.
In my experience, they need to have the following qualities: Empathy - they need to have clear empathy for what it is you are going through Support - you need to feel supported by them Experience - they need to have several years experience in working with families & babies Understanding - they need to understand exactly what is going on for you and your baby Holistic - in other words they are not just treating the symptoms but are actually looking at the deeper causes of the problem Parents should have at least one of these support systems in place, ideally all three.
Don't think that you have to do it on your own!
There are many experts who will give you advice, much of which is outdated, contradictory or even downright WRONG.
For example, some will say that what you need is to control your baby and make them do exactly what it is you want them to.
Others will completely disregard or dismiss the importance of what it is you are going through by saying that it is "only a phase", and your baby will soon come out of it.
Then there are those that offer the latest in baby-calming techniques as well as medication, soothing CD's etc.
OK then, I hear you ask, what would your single most important thing be that parents need to have in place if they have a crying baby? Well, from my perspective I would have to say that it would be support.
One of the problems facing parents is that they can often feel trapped in their own feelings of desperation, helplessness and overwhelm as they desperately struggle for ways to help their baby in any way they can.
In doing this, they can easily shut themselves away from external sources of support and feel as if they have to do it all on their own.
To me, support falls into three categories: Loved Ones - in order for a mother to avoid these feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion and disempowerment, she needs to have access to people around her who are willing and able to give her a break from the intensity of looking after her baby.
These are most typically her partner, parents, in-laws, extended family etc.
Friends - the friends in this category are not just any friends, but those who are either in a similar situation are have recently been there.
It is not so helpful talking to your friends with no children or those with older children about how difficult it is for you as there will be less empathy and understanding available.
Ideal friends in this category would include those from ante-natal and local NCT groups as well as other close friends that you know that have babies in their lives.
Professional - parents who feel overwhelmed or at a complete loss of what to do in order to help their baby should also seek out some sort of professional help.
This is where there is a surplus of information and experts available - some good, some bad.
So, what should you be looking for in a professional.
In my experience, they need to have the following qualities: Empathy - they need to have clear empathy for what it is you are going through Support - you need to feel supported by them Experience - they need to have several years experience in working with families & babies Understanding - they need to understand exactly what is going on for you and your baby Holistic - in other words they are not just treating the symptoms but are actually looking at the deeper causes of the problem Parents should have at least one of these support systems in place, ideally all three.
Don't think that you have to do it on your own!