One thing I have learned living 41 years on this earth is you have to have faith and hope.
Because without faith and hope, all you have left is bitterness and regret.
I, for one prefer to be happy.
I am a mom of four girls, yes four.
I was married 15 years to a very controlling man.
I was sad and depressed for many of those latter years.
Frustrated in the fact that nothing I did seemed to make this man happy.
Gave up most of who I was as a person to try to make this marriage work and make him happy.
I couldn't wear makeup, lose weight, wear the clothes I liked without the ever ready comment spraying out of his mouth " If you do that I don't want to be married to you any more".
So I gave up myself and let him control me.
Asking God on a daily basis what I did to deserve the unkindness he threw at me constantly.
Wondering what was wrong with me.
Thinking, if life was going to be like this for the rest of my life was it really worth living.
Then slowly, over a period of time,I came to realize.
I have control over how I am treated, and the only one I can blame when I am treated badly is myself.
It took some time to grasp the idea and make it true.
I used to feel it was my fault when he would pick some small thing to complain about.
Then I realized it wasn't my fault.
I did my best.
When I do my best, that's all I can do.
When I looked at the situation with truth in my heart I knew.
There would be no way I could ever make him happy, because in all reality, he was not a happy person within himself.
He had to find happiness within himself, I couldn't force feed it to him.
From that point on, when he degraded me, I knew it was his own unhappiness that fueled it andhad nothing to do with me.
And it started not bothering me as much, which would really make him angry.
Then I became to love myself again.
Trust myself, and my choices.
It was a freeing feeling.
I could breath again.
At that point I made a promise to myself.
I would only surround myself with loving, caring, understanding people.
And also to pull away from people that only had negative energy.
Eventually, he used the last "If you do that I don't want to be married to you anymore" comment.
And upon that comment, I left, took my kids, all the clothes I could fit into my broken, but running van and left.
Went to my moms, and thank God for moms.
Went to college, got a job, a good car, and now a home that I am buying.
I thank God he gave me the truth in my heart to know what life is about.
It's all about the outlook you have in life.
I could have stayed stuck in this marriage, blamed him for my depression.
Went to my grave bitter and full of regret.
But instead, I chose to live in happiness and faith.
Once I decided that, God opened up a great highway of opportunities, and it was up to me to make it happen.
I did struggle, I still do with day-to-day things, but I struggle knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel and everything will turn out ok.
I really feel people in the most part can control the way their lives go.
There are paths that can be taken.
But with every choice there is a consequence.
Good or bad.
Living is about learning.
We are on this earth to learn.
And what we learn we take back to our real home, our spiritual home.
This life is temporary and in a sense not real.
Knowing there is something bigger than me, and the here and now, gives me a sense of peace in my heart.
It gives me a way to see through my heart and not my eyes.
And it makes me make choices towards that.
To be kind, to be understanding, and to care.
When we die and meet our maker, I believe the biggest judge of our lives here on earth will be ourselves.
We will look back on our lives and see what we did with it.
Did we try our best or did we waste the opportunity to learn and grow spiritually.
What did we learn from the experience of living? What could we have done differently?What did we bring back home with us?
Because without faith and hope, all you have left is bitterness and regret.
I, for one prefer to be happy.
I am a mom of four girls, yes four.
I was married 15 years to a very controlling man.
I was sad and depressed for many of those latter years.
Frustrated in the fact that nothing I did seemed to make this man happy.
Gave up most of who I was as a person to try to make this marriage work and make him happy.
I couldn't wear makeup, lose weight, wear the clothes I liked without the ever ready comment spraying out of his mouth " If you do that I don't want to be married to you any more".
So I gave up myself and let him control me.
Asking God on a daily basis what I did to deserve the unkindness he threw at me constantly.
Wondering what was wrong with me.
Thinking, if life was going to be like this for the rest of my life was it really worth living.
Then slowly, over a period of time,I came to realize.
I have control over how I am treated, and the only one I can blame when I am treated badly is myself.
It took some time to grasp the idea and make it true.
I used to feel it was my fault when he would pick some small thing to complain about.
Then I realized it wasn't my fault.
I did my best.
When I do my best, that's all I can do.
When I looked at the situation with truth in my heart I knew.
There would be no way I could ever make him happy, because in all reality, he was not a happy person within himself.
He had to find happiness within himself, I couldn't force feed it to him.
From that point on, when he degraded me, I knew it was his own unhappiness that fueled it andhad nothing to do with me.
And it started not bothering me as much, which would really make him angry.
Then I became to love myself again.
Trust myself, and my choices.
It was a freeing feeling.
I could breath again.
At that point I made a promise to myself.
I would only surround myself with loving, caring, understanding people.
And also to pull away from people that only had negative energy.
Eventually, he used the last "If you do that I don't want to be married to you anymore" comment.
And upon that comment, I left, took my kids, all the clothes I could fit into my broken, but running van and left.
Went to my moms, and thank God for moms.
Went to college, got a job, a good car, and now a home that I am buying.
I thank God he gave me the truth in my heart to know what life is about.
It's all about the outlook you have in life.
I could have stayed stuck in this marriage, blamed him for my depression.
Went to my grave bitter and full of regret.
But instead, I chose to live in happiness and faith.
Once I decided that, God opened up a great highway of opportunities, and it was up to me to make it happen.
I did struggle, I still do with day-to-day things, but I struggle knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel and everything will turn out ok.
I really feel people in the most part can control the way their lives go.
There are paths that can be taken.
But with every choice there is a consequence.
Good or bad.
Living is about learning.
We are on this earth to learn.
And what we learn we take back to our real home, our spiritual home.
This life is temporary and in a sense not real.
Knowing there is something bigger than me, and the here and now, gives me a sense of peace in my heart.
It gives me a way to see through my heart and not my eyes.
And it makes me make choices towards that.
To be kind, to be understanding, and to care.
When we die and meet our maker, I believe the biggest judge of our lives here on earth will be ourselves.
We will look back on our lives and see what we did with it.
Did we try our best or did we waste the opportunity to learn and grow spiritually.
What did we learn from the experience of living? What could we have done differently?What did we bring back home with us?