Women Please...
Help the poor bewildered sap in your life.
It's at this time of year, though there are other occasions, such as birthdays, when I despair of my gender! My wife and I have a retail shop and on line store and through them I have witnessed a truly pitiful situation.
With Christmas once more bearing down on us I felt it was time to speak out.
For The Girls: When window shopping or browsing through a store never assume that he is paying attention to the subtle hints that you are dropping.
He has no idea of your taste and little interest just so long as you always look great, which of course you do.
The best that you can hope for is that he will turn up at the shop fifteen minutes before closing, the day before the gift is required.
By which time the item that you pointed out three weeks ago has already sold through or is simply no longer in the position it was when you saw it.
Tip (1): Take charge (as usual).
Whether on line or in store always use the wish list technique.
Tip (2): An on line wish list is great, but don't just email it to him, print it and put it in his hand! Tip (3): The same applies in a shop.
We use printed wish lists and help customers fill in the relevant manufacturer, model number and colour etc.
Again put it in his hand.
Tip (4): When compiling the list always give him a choice so that he still feels that there is an element of surprise when you unwrap it.
But do not give him to many options this will only lead to confusion for him and probably disappointment for you.
Now you need to be really clever.
If he has been in your life for a year or so you will already be getting a feel for how tight he is.
Some men think that it really doesn't matter what they get so long as they have thrown as much money at it as they can.
Others will always go for the cheapest option rationalizing that you will be impressed with his fiscal control.
Yeah...
Right! You know your man.
For those of you just starting out I apologize this will only be of limited use.
Console yourselves with the thought that this will be a very useful exercise to determine which category your sap fits in.
Tip (5): Bearing this in mind pitch the item you really want in the position on the wish list that is most suitable for your man type.
For instance right at the top with a selection of cheaper models for the big spender.
Conversely, at the bottom of an outrageously expensive list, for the financially retentive.
Tip (6): Once the list is in his possession do not assume that is it.
There is still work to be done.
Tip (7): Do not keep on about those beautiful handbags, or whatever, that you have seen or the list.
He will simply take it as nagging and switch off.
Tip (8): Do try subtle hints such as.
When he asks you if he can put his huge bunch of keys, his wallet or any of his junk that you often end up lugging around in your bag for him, simply decline.
Pointing out that it is now completely distorted from its original shape and the lining is torn and full of holes as a result of having obliged him in the past.
Tip (9): If this does not have the desired affect, make sure the handle comes of at suitably embarrassing moment such as at the supermarket check out.
This will have the best effect if he has been trudging around pushing the basket and showing no interest other than at the beer isle.
All he wants to do is get out of there.
Tip (10): Always ensure the bag is open at the time so that as much of the contents spill out as possible.
This can be enhanced by prior loading with lots of loose change and as many tampons as you can muster.
If all this fails to have the desired effect then I think you have done all that can be reasonably expected.
Trade him in for a new model! For The Boys: There are a shroud and extremely rare breed of chaps that do take a proactive approach but they are as rare as rocking horse! They are always spoken for and prized so highly it has been known for them to be fought over.
In the unlikely event that some poor sap has read this far I do have a few pointers for you that will result in you joining this elite band of brothers.
Tip (1): When approaching the shop door try not to see the threshold as an insurmountable hurdle.
Looking startled and muttering, "I'll wait here for you", will only wind her up.
Get in there, it really won't hurt! Tip (2): Pay attention and make notes if necessary.
This may be a huge effort at the time but believe me it will pay off.
Tip (3): Take an active interest and get involved in conversation with constructive and informed comment.
Again, a massive commitment, but consider for a moment.
Time and effort expended now will result in decisions being arrived at harmoniously resulting in the conclusion of the shopping trip in record time.
No wandering aimlessly from shop to shop, ending up having a row and going home empty handed, only to have to go through it all again the next week.
Tip (4): Get back to the store as soon as possible and make that purchase.
Time is most certainly of the essence.
Tip (5): Do not under any circumstances leave your purchase until 3pm on Christmas Eve.
If you do the most likely outcome will be that the item you were after has sold through never to be repeated.
At this point a panic buy always takes place.
This will only compound the mess that you have got into.
Tip (6): Unless you are actively seeking a divorce, Never, Never, Never, return home with the entire bucket of flower sprays in cellophane that you picked up from the garage whilst filling up with petrol.
No matter how big the arm full, this will be regarded in a similar light as a letter from your solicitor instigating divorce proceedings.
Any suggested additions to this list of tips gratefully received.
Help the poor bewildered sap in your life.
It's at this time of year, though there are other occasions, such as birthdays, when I despair of my gender! My wife and I have a retail shop and on line store and through them I have witnessed a truly pitiful situation.
With Christmas once more bearing down on us I felt it was time to speak out.
For The Girls: When window shopping or browsing through a store never assume that he is paying attention to the subtle hints that you are dropping.
He has no idea of your taste and little interest just so long as you always look great, which of course you do.
The best that you can hope for is that he will turn up at the shop fifteen minutes before closing, the day before the gift is required.
By which time the item that you pointed out three weeks ago has already sold through or is simply no longer in the position it was when you saw it.
Tip (1): Take charge (as usual).
Whether on line or in store always use the wish list technique.
Tip (2): An on line wish list is great, but don't just email it to him, print it and put it in his hand! Tip (3): The same applies in a shop.
We use printed wish lists and help customers fill in the relevant manufacturer, model number and colour etc.
Again put it in his hand.
Tip (4): When compiling the list always give him a choice so that he still feels that there is an element of surprise when you unwrap it.
But do not give him to many options this will only lead to confusion for him and probably disappointment for you.
Now you need to be really clever.
If he has been in your life for a year or so you will already be getting a feel for how tight he is.
Some men think that it really doesn't matter what they get so long as they have thrown as much money at it as they can.
Others will always go for the cheapest option rationalizing that you will be impressed with his fiscal control.
Yeah...
Right! You know your man.
For those of you just starting out I apologize this will only be of limited use.
Console yourselves with the thought that this will be a very useful exercise to determine which category your sap fits in.
Tip (5): Bearing this in mind pitch the item you really want in the position on the wish list that is most suitable for your man type.
For instance right at the top with a selection of cheaper models for the big spender.
Conversely, at the bottom of an outrageously expensive list, for the financially retentive.
Tip (6): Once the list is in his possession do not assume that is it.
There is still work to be done.
Tip (7): Do not keep on about those beautiful handbags, or whatever, that you have seen or the list.
He will simply take it as nagging and switch off.
Tip (8): Do try subtle hints such as.
When he asks you if he can put his huge bunch of keys, his wallet or any of his junk that you often end up lugging around in your bag for him, simply decline.
Pointing out that it is now completely distorted from its original shape and the lining is torn and full of holes as a result of having obliged him in the past.
Tip (9): If this does not have the desired affect, make sure the handle comes of at suitably embarrassing moment such as at the supermarket check out.
This will have the best effect if he has been trudging around pushing the basket and showing no interest other than at the beer isle.
All he wants to do is get out of there.
Tip (10): Always ensure the bag is open at the time so that as much of the contents spill out as possible.
This can be enhanced by prior loading with lots of loose change and as many tampons as you can muster.
If all this fails to have the desired effect then I think you have done all that can be reasonably expected.
Trade him in for a new model! For The Boys: There are a shroud and extremely rare breed of chaps that do take a proactive approach but they are as rare as rocking horse! They are always spoken for and prized so highly it has been known for them to be fought over.
In the unlikely event that some poor sap has read this far I do have a few pointers for you that will result in you joining this elite band of brothers.
Tip (1): When approaching the shop door try not to see the threshold as an insurmountable hurdle.
Looking startled and muttering, "I'll wait here for you", will only wind her up.
Get in there, it really won't hurt! Tip (2): Pay attention and make notes if necessary.
This may be a huge effort at the time but believe me it will pay off.
Tip (3): Take an active interest and get involved in conversation with constructive and informed comment.
Again, a massive commitment, but consider for a moment.
Time and effort expended now will result in decisions being arrived at harmoniously resulting in the conclusion of the shopping trip in record time.
No wandering aimlessly from shop to shop, ending up having a row and going home empty handed, only to have to go through it all again the next week.
Tip (4): Get back to the store as soon as possible and make that purchase.
Time is most certainly of the essence.
Tip (5): Do not under any circumstances leave your purchase until 3pm on Christmas Eve.
If you do the most likely outcome will be that the item you were after has sold through never to be repeated.
At this point a panic buy always takes place.
This will only compound the mess that you have got into.
Tip (6): Unless you are actively seeking a divorce, Never, Never, Never, return home with the entire bucket of flower sprays in cellophane that you picked up from the garage whilst filling up with petrol.
No matter how big the arm full, this will be regarded in a similar light as a letter from your solicitor instigating divorce proceedings.
Any suggested additions to this list of tips gratefully received.