It is very painful to say, "Goodbye" to anybody.
"Separation" is not acceptable...
parting away is "painful"...
more so, if there is no logic or "justification" in Separation.
Life is too short to hate people or harm people.
One must try his best to maintain...
or keep the relation.
And even if "Separation" is on cards...
and if there is no other way but to move in different direction...
do it in a decent manner.
Sit together...
speak to each other...
express your views, opinions...
and then say "Good Bye"...
because "Betey hue lamhoon ki kasak saath to hogi...
khaaboon mein hi ho chaey mulakaat to hogi; lamba hai safar isme kahin raat to hogi".
(Tomorrow I may not be there with you.
We may decide to move in different directions...
but my memories will always be with you.
I know, this day is long but certainly followed by night.
) These days...
we are seeing many people moving out off relations.
Be it "Parents-Child"...
"Husband-wife"...
"Employer-Employee" (Separation is too often and too frequent...
in this relation)...
"Love-Birds" (Boyfriends-Girlfriends).
At times there is no reason, no "Logic" for this Separation...
there is no justification too...
but still people like to move away.
Some of the reasons which I have identified as major reasons for separation in above mentioned relations are: Parents-Child If parents are more possessive/protective about their Kids True, in this relation there is a generation-gap, so if there is difference in wave-length...
thoughts, beliefs and ideology Property and Wealth If there is no "Space" in the relation...
and if they over-step their limits Husband-Wife Once again...
if the spouses are over-protective or over possessive If they decline to share responsibilities If any of them is into extra-marital relation If they are not able to give enough love, care, affection and trust to each other and if there is no understanding.
If any of the spouse is "more" closer to his or her parents.
Employer-Employee In present scenario...
in 21st Century...
the relation between employer and employee is not permanent or long lasting...
either employee leaves his employer or employer asks his employee to leave...
this can be for following reasons.
If the speed of the employer is faster than that of employee...
he may ask his employee to leave; if the speed of the employee is more than the employer...
employee leaves the employer.
Growth...
in terms of income, position and power If relation between boss and his subordinate is not cordial If the speed of the "employer" is more than his employee...
then employer ask his employee to leave; and if the speed of the "employee" is more than that of his employer...
then employee moves out of the relation.
"Office Politics" also plays an important role in "Straining" the relation.
Boyfriends-Girlfriends If parents don't accept their relation (there maybe or may not be any logic behind).
If society doesn't approve their relation (if wife is elder to Husband; if spouses are from different religions or Caste (India)..
) If they themselves are not serious about the relation and just got together to "enjoy" and to have some "fun" If they are not matured enough...
strong enough or determined enough to fight their way out.
"Future Security"...
monetary...
as well as stability is also required.
Conclusion: Whatever may be the reason it is important to sit together and sort it out.
Try your best to maintain/keep your relation...
if one or two compromises can help you...
then make those compromises.
I understand that empathy, understanding, a bit of patience, and lots of love and care and help you to SOME EXTENT to keep your relations...
love ones and those SPECIAL people of your life...
together.
Many times your behavior, attitude, EGO, eagerness and rumors can make or break your relations.
Relations break not because we don't love each other or not care for each other...
relations break, when we try to "Possess" our loved ones; when we take things for "Guaranteed"; and when we start considering our loved-ones as "mindless", "Lifeless" property.
It may so happen that you fail to save your relation and you decide to move away but don't give any room...
any space to if's and but's in your relation...
tomorrow you should not sit and wonder...
"had I done this or that in this or that manner...
it would had saved my relation.
Hence, "Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna".
Even if you decide to part away...
keep enough space in your relation...
so that tomorrow if you happen to cross each other...
or happen to meet at any public place...
you must be able to speak to each other.
I still believe that...
"Betey hue lamhoon ki kasak saath to hogi...
khaaboon mein hi ho chaey mulakaat to hogi; lamba hai safar isme kahin raat to hogi".
I will be too happy to have your inputs...
your feedback.
With lots of love and care What they have to Say: Loretta Hatch; Wisconsin, United States: Dear Sanjeev,I just happened to land on your website when I was searching for information on Human Relations Models.
I must say that I was very impressed by your talent in Human Relations.
I don't believe that I have ever read something that was as interesting and inspirational as your writings.
I learned a lot from your site that can help me in my personal life as well as in my professional life.
I will surely pass this site on to friends, family and coworkers, in hopes that they will be just as inspired as I was.
I hope that one day I can be half as inspirational to someone as you have been to me.
Thank You, Your work is much appreciated.
Harvinderjit Kaur, Detroit, United States: Hi Sanjeev, It's an excellent piece.
You have touched an important topic on relationships ...
a reality that is losing its importance in life these days.
Happy and successful relationships are based on understanding ...
in order for a relationship to work, one simply have to talk and that means both sides making small compromises and finding common ground on which to talk.
Talking and listening are probably the most important skills in a relationship.
There will always be tensions and disagreements, but if one can communicate well, one can overcome almost any problem.
To me, nothing can exist without love.
You cannot live your life with a person you just like.
You have to love that person.
The existence of a relationship means you love.
It also means adjustments, acceptance and compromises.
At the same time one should not forget that nobody is perfect, so there cannot be a perfect formula for a perfect relationship.
There are ups and downs in life and similarly in relationships.
When we love the person and enter into a relationship, why then ...
when there are ups and downs, troubled periods ...
the relationship gets so damaged; when it started out so perfectly and happily? The truth is, all relationships will face disappointing and unexpected matters and there is nothing you can do to change it, but there are ways to properly deal with those matters without having to lose your relationship.
I believe one should work hard in saving the relationship and only when there is no way out and we have exhausted trying all avenues ...
should we part.
A healthy happy relationship from my point of view is one that both sides are allowed to grow in the relationship.
It takes a great deal of time and effort to keep a relationship stable without killing the spice or unique that drew you to your partner.
"Separation" is not acceptable...
parting away is "painful"...
more so, if there is no logic or "justification" in Separation.
Life is too short to hate people or harm people.
One must try his best to maintain...
or keep the relation.
And even if "Separation" is on cards...
and if there is no other way but to move in different direction...
do it in a decent manner.
Sit together...
speak to each other...
express your views, opinions...
and then say "Good Bye"...
because "Betey hue lamhoon ki kasak saath to hogi...
khaaboon mein hi ho chaey mulakaat to hogi; lamba hai safar isme kahin raat to hogi".
(Tomorrow I may not be there with you.
We may decide to move in different directions...
but my memories will always be with you.
I know, this day is long but certainly followed by night.
) These days...
we are seeing many people moving out off relations.
Be it "Parents-Child"...
"Husband-wife"...
"Employer-Employee" (Separation is too often and too frequent...
in this relation)...
"Love-Birds" (Boyfriends-Girlfriends).
At times there is no reason, no "Logic" for this Separation...
there is no justification too...
but still people like to move away.
Some of the reasons which I have identified as major reasons for separation in above mentioned relations are: Parents-Child If parents are more possessive/protective about their Kids True, in this relation there is a generation-gap, so if there is difference in wave-length...
thoughts, beliefs and ideology Property and Wealth If there is no "Space" in the relation...
and if they over-step their limits Husband-Wife Once again...
if the spouses are over-protective or over possessive If they decline to share responsibilities If any of them is into extra-marital relation If they are not able to give enough love, care, affection and trust to each other and if there is no understanding.
If any of the spouse is "more" closer to his or her parents.
Employer-Employee In present scenario...
in 21st Century...
the relation between employer and employee is not permanent or long lasting...
either employee leaves his employer or employer asks his employee to leave...
this can be for following reasons.
If the speed of the employer is faster than that of employee...
he may ask his employee to leave; if the speed of the employee is more than the employer...
employee leaves the employer.
Growth...
in terms of income, position and power If relation between boss and his subordinate is not cordial If the speed of the "employer" is more than his employee...
then employer ask his employee to leave; and if the speed of the "employee" is more than that of his employer...
then employee moves out of the relation.
"Office Politics" also plays an important role in "Straining" the relation.
Boyfriends-Girlfriends If parents don't accept their relation (there maybe or may not be any logic behind).
If society doesn't approve their relation (if wife is elder to Husband; if spouses are from different religions or Caste (India)..
) If they themselves are not serious about the relation and just got together to "enjoy" and to have some "fun" If they are not matured enough...
strong enough or determined enough to fight their way out.
"Future Security"...
monetary...
as well as stability is also required.
Conclusion: Whatever may be the reason it is important to sit together and sort it out.
Try your best to maintain/keep your relation...
if one or two compromises can help you...
then make those compromises.
I understand that empathy, understanding, a bit of patience, and lots of love and care and help you to SOME EXTENT to keep your relations...
love ones and those SPECIAL people of your life...
together.
Many times your behavior, attitude, EGO, eagerness and rumors can make or break your relations.
Relations break not because we don't love each other or not care for each other...
relations break, when we try to "Possess" our loved ones; when we take things for "Guaranteed"; and when we start considering our loved-ones as "mindless", "Lifeless" property.
It may so happen that you fail to save your relation and you decide to move away but don't give any room...
any space to if's and but's in your relation...
tomorrow you should not sit and wonder...
"had I done this or that in this or that manner...
it would had saved my relation.
Hence, "Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna".
Even if you decide to part away...
keep enough space in your relation...
so that tomorrow if you happen to cross each other...
or happen to meet at any public place...
you must be able to speak to each other.
I still believe that...
"Betey hue lamhoon ki kasak saath to hogi...
khaaboon mein hi ho chaey mulakaat to hogi; lamba hai safar isme kahin raat to hogi".
I will be too happy to have your inputs...
your feedback.
With lots of love and care What they have to Say: Loretta Hatch; Wisconsin, United States: Dear Sanjeev,I just happened to land on your website when I was searching for information on Human Relations Models.
I must say that I was very impressed by your talent in Human Relations.
I don't believe that I have ever read something that was as interesting and inspirational as your writings.
I learned a lot from your site that can help me in my personal life as well as in my professional life.
I will surely pass this site on to friends, family and coworkers, in hopes that they will be just as inspired as I was.
I hope that one day I can be half as inspirational to someone as you have been to me.
Thank You, Your work is much appreciated.
Harvinderjit Kaur, Detroit, United States: Hi Sanjeev, It's an excellent piece.
You have touched an important topic on relationships ...
a reality that is losing its importance in life these days.
Happy and successful relationships are based on understanding ...
in order for a relationship to work, one simply have to talk and that means both sides making small compromises and finding common ground on which to talk.
Talking and listening are probably the most important skills in a relationship.
There will always be tensions and disagreements, but if one can communicate well, one can overcome almost any problem.
To me, nothing can exist without love.
You cannot live your life with a person you just like.
You have to love that person.
The existence of a relationship means you love.
It also means adjustments, acceptance and compromises.
At the same time one should not forget that nobody is perfect, so there cannot be a perfect formula for a perfect relationship.
There are ups and downs in life and similarly in relationships.
When we love the person and enter into a relationship, why then ...
when there are ups and downs, troubled periods ...
the relationship gets so damaged; when it started out so perfectly and happily? The truth is, all relationships will face disappointing and unexpected matters and there is nothing you can do to change it, but there are ways to properly deal with those matters without having to lose your relationship.
I believe one should work hard in saving the relationship and only when there is no way out and we have exhausted trying all avenues ...
should we part.
A healthy happy relationship from my point of view is one that both sides are allowed to grow in the relationship.
It takes a great deal of time and effort to keep a relationship stable without killing the spice or unique that drew you to your partner.