I've spent a long time wondering what happiness is all about.
What a question hey! I know, such a concept can get a bit too philosophical if you're not careful.
I mean, not that there's anything wrong with the philosophical side of the concept of happiness.
But I'd prefer to be more practical in this case; more even so when it comes to understanding what makes me happy and what doesn't.
Why my interest in the issue? Well, it's probably because I've had my bad moments.
What I mean by 'bad moments' is those times when you feel your life lacks 'something', being a relationship, a better job, more time, whatever.
Negative thoughts come to your mind; and you start thinking, for instance, 'if I had ...
I'd be happy'.
And I have to admit I used to have those moments quite regularly.
It's a terrible mental state to be in because you start to push yourself towards the things you don't really want, just by thinking too much about them! It's ironic, but by thinking 'if I didn't have this much work I'd be happy', you are convincing your mind that you don't deserve to be happy - and your subconscious will make sure you are not - until you don't have that much work.
You convince yourself that the thing you believe you're lacking is the critical factor that defines happiness for you.
So, the consequence of this frame of mind is twofold: - First, it's a fact: you'll not be happy today as long as you're saying to yourself that, to be happy, you need something you don't have.
You see how important this is? I mean, there's no one else who's 'controlling' your life! It's not the media; it's not your boss at work; it's you!! It's YOU that is TELLING YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE NOT HAPPY! You are choosing to engage in a negative state of mind.
So, put simply, you don't give yourself a chance to enjoy the NOW.
You loose the capability to enjoy, and you enter what I call a 'negative feedback loop': because I don't have ...
, I'm not happy; so I feel bad; and because I feel bad, I see things negatively; it seems people are being unfriendly; it's as if things have turned against me'.
You see what I mean? In other words, YOU ARE WAITING FOR TOMORROW.
You enter an endless wait.
- Second, and this is extremely important as well, because you've tied your happiness to something you don't have, you might suppose that even though you're not happy right now, this attitude will push you towards achieving that thing you don't have.
That's unfortunately not true! This is because you haven't told your subconscious - YOURSELF - what you want.
You've just made a statement of the current situation: 'I'm not happy because I haven't been promoted yet.
I'll be happy then'.
That sort of thought doesn't take you anywhere! It only reinforces the same idea.
It just becomes true in your mind: YOU'RE NOT HAPPY BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN PROMOTED.
Period.
No action plan, no goal, no future.
Just a present, negative statement.
The truth is, as I've experienced time and time again, once you get promoted, something else comes up.
Now it's time to blame the lack of time I've got for myself for example.
'I'd be happy if I didn't have to work so many hours'.
And the negative feedback loop repeats again.
So, what is happiness all about? Well, I always thought happiness had to do with success.
Now, stay with me here.
I define success as being capable of improving yourself over time.
Getting closer to your greatest potential.
Practicing the Japanese philosophy of continuous improvement on yourself.
So, as long as you're always pursuing to be better today that what you were yesterday, you'll be happy.
I mean better in the most profound sense of the word.
I believe you're better today than yesterday if today you are nicer to people, more confident in yourself, stronger, if you work harder, if you are more positive; in summary, if you become a better person! That's always been my frame of mind.
But - and here's the big but - it hasn't made a huge difference in the end! I mean, I always came back to the negative frame of mind: 'if I had ...
, I'll be happier'.
It was until early this year that I fully understood it: Yes, it is important we always 'fight' to become better individuals today than yesterday! Yes, it's a fact: there will always be things we'll be lacking.
It's a fact of life! No, you can't avoid negative thoughts popping into your mind from time to time.
It's in our nature.
It's in our environment as well.
A big YES, HAPPINESS IS ABOUT FINDING A DIRECTION IN LIFE.
That's the single, biggest truth in life.
HAPPINESS IS ABOUT PURPOSE.
It's a simple, yet so powerful and life changing concept.
Do you realize what I'm talking about? I'm saying that we are able to enjoy life and be happy when we have set goals for ourselves.
We find happiness when we know where we are going! How simple is that! But how true is it! I'm sure you've experienced it at some point in your life.
Maybe you had a short term goal at work; a project you were working on; a clear deadline.
Maybe you've studied at University, or you've done a course, and you've found yourself pursuing clear, defined, measurable goals.
Do you remember how you felt during those times? Didn't you have a sense of purpose? I know some of those goals might have put stress on you.
Further, maybe you didn't even enjoy what you had to do to get there.
I can understand that.
Now, give yourself a moment to imagine those things you want out of life.
Picture them in your mind.
I seriously mean imagine yourself having achieved those things.
It might be the beautiful house you dream buying one day.
Or the car of your dreams.
Or having a great body.
Or the relationship that's eluded you for some time.
I can guarantee you that if you seriously set those goals in your mind, two things will happen: - YOU'LL ENJOY THE PROCESS OF PURSUING YOUR OBJECTIVES! You'll be happy TODAY, even if you had to work harder, just because you KNOW you're one step closer to where you want to be; because you know there's a purpose behind your actions! That's the key! This frame of mind puts purpose behind each and every action, each and every day! - YOU WILL GET THERE! Understand this please.
Don't fall into the trap of thinking this is just 'positive thinking B.
S.
'.
Give yourself the opportunity to BELIEVE.
You WILL achieve anything you set yourself to do.
Just commit to it.
Write it down.
Visualise it.
Let it burn in you.
Write your goal in ink so you cannot turn away from it.
Write your deadline with a pencil though.
If you don't reach a goal when you expected it, don't consider it as a failure.
You WILL achieve it; you just underestimated the time required to get there.
But do not give in.
I think, in philosophy, this is quite simple.
It's profound, yet simple.
It's practical! It's life changing.
It's powerful.
Believe me; it WILL make a difference in your life.
LIFE IS ABOUT SETTING OBJECTIVES FOR YOURSELF.
That is what gives you a sense of direction.
Of course, you'll need short term goals and long term goals.
You'll need short term goals to keep you focused; to give you a sense of 'urgency'.
You also want a BIG goal.
Don't sell yourself short.
You're capable of big things.
But break down those great goals into shorter term objectives.
And define a set of action steps as well; daily habits you'll need so you get closer and closer to your goals.
You see, it all comes together in the end.
It does.
I mean, my life, and yours, ultimately, have a unique purpose, yet the same final destination.
You and I are both destined to ACHIEVE OUR GREATEST POTENTIAL.
You and I are destined to become the best we can be.
We need to take on the challenge.
To say yes to the call.
It's not only motivating and empowering in itself; it's also the answer to the most profound question of all: 'who are we and what makes us happy?' We are individuals who understand that happiness is about REACHING FOR THE STARTS AND ENJOYING THE JOURNEY.
WE ARE HERE TO SET HIGH STANDARDS FOR OURSELVES, BELIEVE IN OUR CAPABILITIES, AND WORK AT BEING OUR BEST.
WE JUST HAVE TO SPREAD THE WORD THAT IT'S THAT SIMPLE...