Whenever we decide to do something, especially something unfamiliar, there's a couple of ways we usually go about it.
One is to reach back into our memory, and find similar experiences and situations where we did pretty good.
The other is to think about other people we've seen do the same thing, either in real life, or people we've read about.
Most of the time, this method works pretty well.
Meaning we usually try one or the other, and come up with something that will help us somewhat to get what we want.
This doesn't happen consciously, as our brains are much too fast for that.
What happens is our brains usually dig deep and dig fast, and come back with a feeling, hopefully one with a little bit of confidence.
However, sometimes it can cause stress and anxiety if BOTH methods bring back an example that's not so good.
Meaning both our own experiences, and those of the "role models" we come up with don't really demonstrate what we're looking for.
Persuasion and influence is a perfect example of this.
Mainly because it happens largely on a subconscious level, but we assume it happens on a conscious level.
What's this mean? Whenever we decide to do something, whether it's a big or a small thing, the decision is made subconsciously, but the reasons we tell ourselves are usually made up after the fact.
Now, most people don't like to hear this, as we're keen to imagine that we are on purpose, consciously living folks who are in absolute charge of our own destinies.
But the first step in easy and effortless persuasion is to realize that this just isn't true.
Unless we accept this fundamental truth of human nature, it's going to be nearly impossible how to influence others.
Because we'll be thinking that those "after the fact" reasons are the reasons we made the decisions we made (like the specific clothes you are wearing right now) instead of the underlying, unconscious reasons that drive most of human behavior.
If you try and persuade others by your own "after the fact" story telling, (which is what most salespeople and want to be influencers do) you won't get very far.
But when you understand the REAL reasons beneath human decision making, and how to talk to people on TWO different levels, (conscious AND unconscious) you'll not only be congruent with their "after the fact" story telling, but with their deeper meanings as well.
Making YOU seem like nobody they've ever met before.
One is to reach back into our memory, and find similar experiences and situations where we did pretty good.
The other is to think about other people we've seen do the same thing, either in real life, or people we've read about.
Most of the time, this method works pretty well.
Meaning we usually try one or the other, and come up with something that will help us somewhat to get what we want.
This doesn't happen consciously, as our brains are much too fast for that.
What happens is our brains usually dig deep and dig fast, and come back with a feeling, hopefully one with a little bit of confidence.
However, sometimes it can cause stress and anxiety if BOTH methods bring back an example that's not so good.
Meaning both our own experiences, and those of the "role models" we come up with don't really demonstrate what we're looking for.
Persuasion and influence is a perfect example of this.
Mainly because it happens largely on a subconscious level, but we assume it happens on a conscious level.
What's this mean? Whenever we decide to do something, whether it's a big or a small thing, the decision is made subconsciously, but the reasons we tell ourselves are usually made up after the fact.
Now, most people don't like to hear this, as we're keen to imagine that we are on purpose, consciously living folks who are in absolute charge of our own destinies.
But the first step in easy and effortless persuasion is to realize that this just isn't true.
Unless we accept this fundamental truth of human nature, it's going to be nearly impossible how to influence others.
Because we'll be thinking that those "after the fact" reasons are the reasons we made the decisions we made (like the specific clothes you are wearing right now) instead of the underlying, unconscious reasons that drive most of human behavior.
If you try and persuade others by your own "after the fact" story telling, (which is what most salespeople and want to be influencers do) you won't get very far.
But when you understand the REAL reasons beneath human decision making, and how to talk to people on TWO different levels, (conscious AND unconscious) you'll not only be congruent with their "after the fact" story telling, but with their deeper meanings as well.
Making YOU seem like nobody they've ever met before.