I'm at that in-between age: zits and wrinkles.
That's right.
My teenage acne problem has turned into a midlife acne problem.
It's still tied to my cycle.
It seems that just as last month's zit is clearing up, here comes this month's period and a new zit.
And at the edge of my eyes, crow's feet are on the march.
I wish I could get a skin transplant.
Or maybe scrape it off and start over.
But wait! That's not such a far-fetched idea.
What about microdermabrasion? That entails visiting a doctor and having a costly procedure that may not be covered by medical insurance.
I've just hear that you can buy microdermabrasion machines on the web.
If I had a microdermabrasion machine, I could smooth my skin myself.
As I said, I get at least one "blossom" every month in step with my monthly schedule.
It starts as an irritated pink spot.
Then it grows into an ugly white-headed pimple.
I'm careful not to touch it or squeeze it, but it still takes a couple of weeks to go through its healing process.
After it's gone, the pink spot takes many weeks to fade.
That means I have three or four pink spots at any one time.
I keep telling the universe that I'm too old for this! On the other hand, I thought I was too young for wrinkles.
There are a couple of creases appearing between my eyebrows.
There are also crow's feet around my eyes.
Smile lines.
Frown lines.
And the creases between the corners of my nose and the corners of my mouth are becoming more pronounced.
The skin is thickening.
I went to the beauty salon, where the cosmetologist gave me a facial and then a series of gentle chemical peels.
This cost my entire beauty budget for six months, and I can't see any lasting improvement as a result of the treatment.
At this point, I'm back where I started.
So now I'm ready to try one of these microdermabrasion machines that I saw on the web.
With one of these machines, I can sandblast my own skin and smooth it out significantly.
I know I have to be careful and not overdo it.
I will follow the instructions and heed all of the warnings and suggestions.
These machines are kind of expensive for the individual to purchase-a couple of thousand, at least.
But it will be worth the cost.
I won't need all those trips to the dermatologist and cosmetologist.
I can take care of my own skin.
Plus, I can have skin parties.
My friends have the same skin problems that I do.
I'm sure they would be willing to pay a little to come over in the evenings for a hen party.
We can rent movies, pop popcorn, play music, and then smooth out our complexions.
Then, over time, my fancy face machine will be paid for.
And, when my girls reach the zits stage, I can keep their skin clear so they won't have the little scars that I have to deal with.