There were some bumps on my baby fingers and I thought they looked like burns.
I could not remember burning myself, so I was puzzled by the sight of the blistering on the knuckles.
There was also pain at the site of each blister and I knew that this was something I needed to see the doctor about.
I had been taking over the counter pain medication for a few weeks so that I could go to work.
As I was remembering back, it had been a while since I had not felt pain in my hands and some other joints.
I thought the pain was from being busy and over using my hands and standing up at my job for long hours.
Now that I know the problem was Arthritis it all makes sense.
I had a feeling something was not right and now I know this was what a panic attack causes.
The doctor looked at my fingers and of course asked a lot of questions that I thought were not related to the problem.
However they must do their examination how they see fit.
He ended up telling me that these nodules would get bigger and more painful for years to come.
Most likely the fingers would twist and bend into permanent positions of deformity.
The other pain I was feeling in the rest of my body was the Arthritis working on other joints and cartilage.
I was getting anxious upon hearing all this and was silently hoping that the appointment would soon end.
I had heard more than I was ready to accept.
This whole experience was a stress producing event.
I suppose one of the panic attack causes was the information I now had to accept.
Eventually I was on my way home with a prescription for an anti inflammatory.
I had now graduated from the over the counter medications to the heavy duty pharmaceuticals.
I got home and sat in my car in the driveway for a few minutes and cried.
I felt that my youth was about to slip away.
I had always felt like a young woman even though I was the mother of 6 children.
I guess everyone is allowed some time to adjust.
I heard a noise outside the car and it was one of the children coming to see what I was doing sitting in the car for so long.
It struck me then that I was needed and had to put my feet on the ground and get back to living my life with a little modification.
It felt good to be needed and it got my mind off of myself.
Doing for others can be a way to leave stress in the dust, especially when you see the faces of your children and realize that there is so much more of life to come.
I do not want to waste a minute on something I can do something about.
So, I may not have my body the way it had always been but I still had a body.
Adjusting to new situations can be a challenge, however that is what living is all about.
Am I right?
I could not remember burning myself, so I was puzzled by the sight of the blistering on the knuckles.
There was also pain at the site of each blister and I knew that this was something I needed to see the doctor about.
I had been taking over the counter pain medication for a few weeks so that I could go to work.
As I was remembering back, it had been a while since I had not felt pain in my hands and some other joints.
I thought the pain was from being busy and over using my hands and standing up at my job for long hours.
Now that I know the problem was Arthritis it all makes sense.
I had a feeling something was not right and now I know this was what a panic attack causes.
The doctor looked at my fingers and of course asked a lot of questions that I thought were not related to the problem.
However they must do their examination how they see fit.
He ended up telling me that these nodules would get bigger and more painful for years to come.
Most likely the fingers would twist and bend into permanent positions of deformity.
The other pain I was feeling in the rest of my body was the Arthritis working on other joints and cartilage.
I was getting anxious upon hearing all this and was silently hoping that the appointment would soon end.
I had heard more than I was ready to accept.
This whole experience was a stress producing event.
I suppose one of the panic attack causes was the information I now had to accept.
Eventually I was on my way home with a prescription for an anti inflammatory.
I had now graduated from the over the counter medications to the heavy duty pharmaceuticals.
I got home and sat in my car in the driveway for a few minutes and cried.
I felt that my youth was about to slip away.
I had always felt like a young woman even though I was the mother of 6 children.
I guess everyone is allowed some time to adjust.
I heard a noise outside the car and it was one of the children coming to see what I was doing sitting in the car for so long.
It struck me then that I was needed and had to put my feet on the ground and get back to living my life with a little modification.
It felt good to be needed and it got my mind off of myself.
Doing for others can be a way to leave stress in the dust, especially when you see the faces of your children and realize that there is so much more of life to come.
I do not want to waste a minute on something I can do something about.
So, I may not have my body the way it had always been but I still had a body.
Adjusting to new situations can be a challenge, however that is what living is all about.
Am I right?