Stop and read the following story and see if this situation or a similar situation has been present in your life.
A former client of mine, let's call her Sherry to protect her identity, was having a really difficult time attracting and maintaining a meaningful relationship.
It seemed as though she kept attracting the same type of person over and over again; each ending in disaster.
As we investigated this situation a little deeper we discovered that Sherry was still holding anger towards a past partner who had betrayed her.
Whenever she thought about this person, she found herself enraged with anger and hostility.
Even though this relationship ended years ago she still had thoughts of revenge.
She kept that anger bottled up inside of her.
She held onto it never fully letting it go.
Just imagine for a moment that Sherry is like a tea kettle, and let's say her anger represents boiling water.
Now how long does it take for water to boil if the water in the kettle is already hot? Not very long does it? So what happens when Sherry goes into a relationship when her "water" is already hot? Yep she boils over pretty fast - not good for a healthy relationship.
Can you see how holding onto this anger might hinder her new relationships? It wasn't until she realized that she was holding onto the anger and released it, that she became open to new and harmonious relationships.
Anger in itself isn't a bad thing - it's a natural emotion.
It's okay to be angry at times.
Anger helps us to know when things need to be changed - when things need improvement.
When expressed in the proper way it's a very valuable tool.
It is when we hold our anger in and let it build up until we explode that anger can get us into trouble.
Therefore it's very wise to learn how to release anger in a positive way.
There are many ways to release anger - for instance you could start by telling the truth about how you feel.
If something or someone is bothering you, acknowledge it, express it and then let it go.
I wouldn't suggest going around blaming others for your anger but wouldn't it benefit both of you to engage in a truthful and loving dialogue, yes? You'd be surprised at how much better you feel after expressing something that's bothering you.
You can release anger even deeper by going straight to the source of anger.
This usually takes a little more discipline but it can be accomplished.
Often there is something buried in the subconscious that triggers our anger - just like Sherry.
What can help is to clear your mind and ask yourself where the anger is flowing from.
What happened in your past that needs to be released? Sometimes a feeling or an image will appear of the event that is causing the anger.
Just being aware of this is often enough to heal it, but you can go further by simply giving yourself permission to let it go.
Imagine the anger dissipating and vanishing into thin air.
This will leave you feeling lighter and you'll also notice that your anger won't be triggered as easily.
A former client of mine, let's call her Sherry to protect her identity, was having a really difficult time attracting and maintaining a meaningful relationship.
It seemed as though she kept attracting the same type of person over and over again; each ending in disaster.
As we investigated this situation a little deeper we discovered that Sherry was still holding anger towards a past partner who had betrayed her.
Whenever she thought about this person, she found herself enraged with anger and hostility.
Even though this relationship ended years ago she still had thoughts of revenge.
She kept that anger bottled up inside of her.
She held onto it never fully letting it go.
Just imagine for a moment that Sherry is like a tea kettle, and let's say her anger represents boiling water.
Now how long does it take for water to boil if the water in the kettle is already hot? Not very long does it? So what happens when Sherry goes into a relationship when her "water" is already hot? Yep she boils over pretty fast - not good for a healthy relationship.
Can you see how holding onto this anger might hinder her new relationships? It wasn't until she realized that she was holding onto the anger and released it, that she became open to new and harmonious relationships.
Anger in itself isn't a bad thing - it's a natural emotion.
It's okay to be angry at times.
Anger helps us to know when things need to be changed - when things need improvement.
When expressed in the proper way it's a very valuable tool.
It is when we hold our anger in and let it build up until we explode that anger can get us into trouble.
Therefore it's very wise to learn how to release anger in a positive way.
There are many ways to release anger - for instance you could start by telling the truth about how you feel.
If something or someone is bothering you, acknowledge it, express it and then let it go.
I wouldn't suggest going around blaming others for your anger but wouldn't it benefit both of you to engage in a truthful and loving dialogue, yes? You'd be surprised at how much better you feel after expressing something that's bothering you.
You can release anger even deeper by going straight to the source of anger.
This usually takes a little more discipline but it can be accomplished.
Often there is something buried in the subconscious that triggers our anger - just like Sherry.
What can help is to clear your mind and ask yourself where the anger is flowing from.
What happened in your past that needs to be released? Sometimes a feeling or an image will appear of the event that is causing the anger.
Just being aware of this is often enough to heal it, but you can go further by simply giving yourself permission to let it go.
Imagine the anger dissipating and vanishing into thin air.
This will leave you feeling lighter and you'll also notice that your anger won't be triggered as easily.