I watched the New York Americas Got Talent auditions a few weeks ago.
I usually get impatient with these competitive reality shows because I hate the pompous arrogance of the judges and how they enjoy tearing somebody apart.
I think it is a very weird aspect of western culture that audiences crave this kind of persecution - and participates in it.
In Roman times people watched men being thrown to the lions and ripped apart; during the French Revolution and after the mobs gathered to watch heads being chopped off; in the Dark Ages they amassed to watch people being burned at the stake.
Now emotional brutalization draws the crowds.
The most twisted part of it is that exceptionally talented, brave artists expose themselves to this kind of emotional flaying, believing that it is a passage to seeing their dreams come true.
This time a young woman - I suppose in her late twenties - got up on stage.
Her story was that she auditioned for Idols ten years ago and did not make it.
It so destroyed her that she gave up.
Or she tried, but some part of her could not.
So she began singing again.
And there she was, seeing if she could make her dream come true one more time.
You could see the yearning in her, but you could not tell that she was any good at all.
She had no real confidence - in fact she was terrified; she seemed almost mousy, apologetic.
Then she started singing.
She brought the house down.
It was the most soulful, musically satisfying performance I have seen in a long time.
She poured it out, and held nothing back at all.
There was a kind of raw but polished vitality to her singing that thrilled.
Of course she made it through to the next round, and got great strokes from audience and judges, as she deserved.
The woman who walked off stage was a very different person to the one who walked on.
She had found her power and exercised it brilliantly.
Strangely, though, she obviously believed that this was her one and only and last chance.
She is a naturally shining star and has a stunning voice, but for the second time now she has pinned all her hopes on one show.
I wonder what will happen if she loses this time round.
These reality shows of emotional blood lust and spectacle where those who are not "good enough" have their souls and hearts ripped apart; where performers get a night of glory that most of them will probably never experience again, have really distorted what a singing career is about - and what success is if you have talent, passion and persistence.
It is about letting your heart out through your music, giving expression to your soul.
It is not primarily about money or conquering the world.
Those things happen in consequence, for better or for worse.
But it seems these reality shows have made people forget that if you have it, nothing can stop it, and there is never just one chance.
There are countless chances; they keep being generated, so long as you keep allowing yourself to be open to them.
So long as you do not give your power away to anybody.
I usually get impatient with these competitive reality shows because I hate the pompous arrogance of the judges and how they enjoy tearing somebody apart.
I think it is a very weird aspect of western culture that audiences crave this kind of persecution - and participates in it.
In Roman times people watched men being thrown to the lions and ripped apart; during the French Revolution and after the mobs gathered to watch heads being chopped off; in the Dark Ages they amassed to watch people being burned at the stake.
Now emotional brutalization draws the crowds.
The most twisted part of it is that exceptionally talented, brave artists expose themselves to this kind of emotional flaying, believing that it is a passage to seeing their dreams come true.
This time a young woman - I suppose in her late twenties - got up on stage.
Her story was that she auditioned for Idols ten years ago and did not make it.
It so destroyed her that she gave up.
Or she tried, but some part of her could not.
So she began singing again.
And there she was, seeing if she could make her dream come true one more time.
You could see the yearning in her, but you could not tell that she was any good at all.
She had no real confidence - in fact she was terrified; she seemed almost mousy, apologetic.
Then she started singing.
She brought the house down.
It was the most soulful, musically satisfying performance I have seen in a long time.
She poured it out, and held nothing back at all.
There was a kind of raw but polished vitality to her singing that thrilled.
Of course she made it through to the next round, and got great strokes from audience and judges, as she deserved.
The woman who walked off stage was a very different person to the one who walked on.
She had found her power and exercised it brilliantly.
Strangely, though, she obviously believed that this was her one and only and last chance.
She is a naturally shining star and has a stunning voice, but for the second time now she has pinned all her hopes on one show.
I wonder what will happen if she loses this time round.
These reality shows of emotional blood lust and spectacle where those who are not "good enough" have their souls and hearts ripped apart; where performers get a night of glory that most of them will probably never experience again, have really distorted what a singing career is about - and what success is if you have talent, passion and persistence.
It is about letting your heart out through your music, giving expression to your soul.
It is not primarily about money or conquering the world.
Those things happen in consequence, for better or for worse.
But it seems these reality shows have made people forget that if you have it, nothing can stop it, and there is never just one chance.
There are countless chances; they keep being generated, so long as you keep allowing yourself to be open to them.
So long as you do not give your power away to anybody.