If there is one thing that can really get in the way of our accomplishing or attaining what we want for our life, it is our Inner Critic.
Learning to tune it out or mitigate the effects of the "voice in our head" is crucial to our happiness and achievement of our goals.
Below are some techniques to tame the monster, starting with some simple things to neutralize the critic's effect then moving on to some ways to deal with the underlying issues.
The basis for the first three tips is in the NLP technique known as reframing which works by changing the way you perceive an event and therefore the meaning.
When you change the meaning, your responses and behaviors will also change.
The first few may seem silly at first, but they are effective and useful while learning to work with the remaining tips.
1.
Turn down the volume.
Whenever your inner critic starts yammering in your head, try this trick.
Stop and visualize a volume knob.
Mentally turn down the voice.
Imagine, in your mind, the voice getting lower and lower until it's so low you can't even make out what it is saying.
2.
Change the tone.
Our inner critic often sounds like a judge or maybe a parent scolding in our head.
What would happen if you changed the voice? Imagine that the voice is like a little pipsqueak or cartoon character voice.
Something that you know there is no way you would take seriously.
3.
Make fun of it.
When we were kids and someone said something we didn't like or want to hear what did we do? Stick our fingers in our ear and sing "La-la-la-la" or something to that effect.
Silly right? Maybe not.
Try doing this mentally the next time your critic starts up, drown the voice out.
4.
Attack it at the source.
Our inner critic is based on beliefs about what is the "right" thing for us to do, or what our capabilities are.
Most of the beliefs come from our past experiences, upbringing, societal influences.
Most of them really have nothing to do with us and really are not true.
One way to begin moving past limiting beliefs is to investigate the belief.
When the voice tells you "you can't do that!" or "that is really selfish," stop for moment and question that thought.
List all of the reasons you know you are capable and/or this is right for you.
5.
Enable others.
Okay, we all know that "enabling" is bad right? What I mean here is allow others to pull their weight.
Often when the inner critic is telling us we are being selfish, it's because we have allowed others to rely on us to do things that they should really be handling or at least be helping with.
By "enabling" others to do their fair share we are really helping them to be more responsible and we help ourselves as well.
6.
Remind yourself of your successes.
Often, we don't give ourselves credit for the things we do well.
Even if the success was in a different forum, the fact that we were successful shows we have the ability to achieve success somewhere else.
When your inner critic tells you that you cannot, remind yourself of all the times that you have! 7.
Practice non-judgment.
Let's face it; our inner critic thrives on judgment.
It is extremely easy to judge ourselves and others.
When we stop the flow of judgment and blame, it chokes off the supply of ammunition that our inner critic can use against us.
8.
Give yourself a break.
This is very often difficult for people to practice.
The reason the inner critic is so effective is because we are always our own worst critic.
No matter how wonderful others think we are, we often cannot see it.
One way to bring this into focus is to use an appreciation journal.
Everyday write down something (try for 3 to 5 things) that you can appreciate about yourself.
Maybe it is your sense of humor or that you really listen to others.
It's there, write it down.
I won't tell you that practicing these tips are going to eliminate your inner critic altogether.
The beast is very persistent! I will guarantee that you will gain some control over the effects it has on your life and gain the momentum to move forward no matter what it says.
Remember: nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it.
This includes your inner critic.
Reframe it into something nonsensical, and then get to work on those underlying beliefs.
Learning to tune it out or mitigate the effects of the "voice in our head" is crucial to our happiness and achievement of our goals.
Below are some techniques to tame the monster, starting with some simple things to neutralize the critic's effect then moving on to some ways to deal with the underlying issues.
The basis for the first three tips is in the NLP technique known as reframing which works by changing the way you perceive an event and therefore the meaning.
When you change the meaning, your responses and behaviors will also change.
The first few may seem silly at first, but they are effective and useful while learning to work with the remaining tips.
1.
Turn down the volume.
Whenever your inner critic starts yammering in your head, try this trick.
Stop and visualize a volume knob.
Mentally turn down the voice.
Imagine, in your mind, the voice getting lower and lower until it's so low you can't even make out what it is saying.
2.
Change the tone.
Our inner critic often sounds like a judge or maybe a parent scolding in our head.
What would happen if you changed the voice? Imagine that the voice is like a little pipsqueak or cartoon character voice.
Something that you know there is no way you would take seriously.
3.
Make fun of it.
When we were kids and someone said something we didn't like or want to hear what did we do? Stick our fingers in our ear and sing "La-la-la-la" or something to that effect.
Silly right? Maybe not.
Try doing this mentally the next time your critic starts up, drown the voice out.
4.
Attack it at the source.
Our inner critic is based on beliefs about what is the "right" thing for us to do, or what our capabilities are.
Most of the beliefs come from our past experiences, upbringing, societal influences.
Most of them really have nothing to do with us and really are not true.
One way to begin moving past limiting beliefs is to investigate the belief.
When the voice tells you "you can't do that!" or "that is really selfish," stop for moment and question that thought.
List all of the reasons you know you are capable and/or this is right for you.
5.
Enable others.
Okay, we all know that "enabling" is bad right? What I mean here is allow others to pull their weight.
Often when the inner critic is telling us we are being selfish, it's because we have allowed others to rely on us to do things that they should really be handling or at least be helping with.
By "enabling" others to do their fair share we are really helping them to be more responsible and we help ourselves as well.
6.
Remind yourself of your successes.
Often, we don't give ourselves credit for the things we do well.
Even if the success was in a different forum, the fact that we were successful shows we have the ability to achieve success somewhere else.
When your inner critic tells you that you cannot, remind yourself of all the times that you have! 7.
Practice non-judgment.
Let's face it; our inner critic thrives on judgment.
It is extremely easy to judge ourselves and others.
When we stop the flow of judgment and blame, it chokes off the supply of ammunition that our inner critic can use against us.
8.
Give yourself a break.
This is very often difficult for people to practice.
The reason the inner critic is so effective is because we are always our own worst critic.
No matter how wonderful others think we are, we often cannot see it.
One way to bring this into focus is to use an appreciation journal.
Everyday write down something (try for 3 to 5 things) that you can appreciate about yourself.
Maybe it is your sense of humor or that you really listen to others.
It's there, write it down.
I won't tell you that practicing these tips are going to eliminate your inner critic altogether.
The beast is very persistent! I will guarantee that you will gain some control over the effects it has on your life and gain the momentum to move forward no matter what it says.
Remember: nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it.
This includes your inner critic.
Reframe it into something nonsensical, and then get to work on those underlying beliefs.