"We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worst that has been done to us.
" -Edward Lewis Mean-spirited behavior and wicked words are like a cancer slowly eating away at your spirit.
These things drag you down and hold you hostage.
You are permitting it.
Many of us unfortunately face a bully.
I faced many in childhood and adulthood.
Some of the meanest and most damaging bullies were those I encountered in the workplace.
Sadly, bullying is wreaking havoc on our self-esteem, self-image, physical health, and mental health-regardless of age, race, religion, status, or sex.
My research has revealed many others who are being bullied.
Bullies know how to destroy self-confidence.
They also know how to create fear.
When Mimi S.
from Pennsylvania was bullied by members of the school administration, her self-confidence was one of the first things to go.
She began to question her every move, trying to avoid any action that would create more problems.
She became paranoid.
She simply didn't know who she could trust, and therefore she trusted no one.
And she became angry.
Her anger grew from frustration.
No one believed her story.
No one felt that the woman they knew would be the victim of a bully.
Even more important, no one outside the school system could or would admit that something was wrong.
As the mother of a special-needs child, she found herself losing patience and self-control.
When that happened, she knew that she needed to speak out and to find help.
And she needed to continue speaking out until people began to listen.
Only after she knew that someone understood could she begin to regain control of her life.
Bullies can do a lot of damage to your self-image, and calling on reprogramming techniques can be a saving grace.
My experience with bullies in the workplace lasted almost a decade.
I felt powerless, overwhelmed, isolated, ashamed, humiliated, and ugly.
I felt like yesterday's trash! These were feelings I had never felt even as a child who had been abandoned and abused.
The point is, I get it! I believe I can help you gain a better understanding about bullying and help you understand that we sometimes bully ourselves and contribute to our own unhappiness and unhealthy habits.
It is also my belief that my experiences will help you gain a better understanding of negative self-talk and demonstrate the necessity of reprogramming.
Tim Fields, the author of Bully in Sight: How to Predict, Resist, Challenge and Combat Workplace Bullying: Overcoming the Silence and Denial By Which Abuse Thrives, defines workplace bullying as "the repeated mistreatment of one's employee targeted by one or more employees with a malicious mix of humiliation, intimidation, and sabotage of performance.
" Fields also refers to workplace bullying as psychological harassment and violence done to you by others.
Zogby reported workplace bullying to be two to three times more prevalent than illegal discrimination, affecting one in six workers.
Bullies usually appear when someone in power or authority feels threatened by another person or subordinate that displays qualities and skills that they do not possess.
The bully's personality is dominated by his or her need to feel good.
Psychological Damages Related to Bullying Anxiety Depression Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) Loss of confidence Low self-esteem Personality disorders Periods of unworthiness Permanent or semi-permanent feelings of hopelessness Panic attacks Periods of tearfulness and irritability Sadness Lack of concentration Forgetfulness Loss of humor Loss of joyfulness Other forms of abuse also cause similar problems.
Even after someone is removed from an abusive situation, the effects can be long-lasting.
Another trauma or event can often cause these underlying problems to surface.
Psychological Damage Related to Domestic Violence, Rape, and Child Abuse Experience PTSD Waking up in a state of panic Nightmares Flashbacks Obsessive behaviors Avoidance of pleasurable activities Isolating self from friends and others Sleep deprivation Inability to concentrate Lashes out at others easily Feels guilty Feels shameful Feels unworthiness Feels hopeless Psychological Damages Related to Weight Issues Many people with weight issues have deeper problems.
For this very reason, I suggest that you see a professional who can help you deal with your true emotions.
If you fail to address these issues, you will keep repeating bad behavior.
P.
I.
E.
S is a vehicle to help you uncover your problem.
It is up to you to take action and help yourself.
Shame Guilt Isolation Unattractive Worthless Hopeless Low self-esteem Poor self-image Moody/emotional Flashbacks Lonely Shared Problems Bullies: create health problems, social problems, self-esteem, and self-image problems.
Abusers: create health problems, social problems, self-esteem, and self-image problems.
People with weight issues: create health problems, social problems, self-esteem, and self-image problems.
Exercise: Labels Write positive and negative labels given to you by yourself and others.
Your mother: Your father: Your siblings: Your spouse or significant other: Other family members: Your friends: Your teachers: Your spiritual leader/minister: Your employer: Your coworkers: Others: Yourself: Which messages played repeatedly in your head today? Which messages are true? List the negative messages: List the positive messages: List messages you feel you need to work on: Dump the negative messages.
Excerpt from: Lose the Baggage, Lose the Weight..
..
Bullies and Self-Image
" -Edward Lewis Mean-spirited behavior and wicked words are like a cancer slowly eating away at your spirit.
These things drag you down and hold you hostage.
You are permitting it.
Many of us unfortunately face a bully.
I faced many in childhood and adulthood.
Some of the meanest and most damaging bullies were those I encountered in the workplace.
Sadly, bullying is wreaking havoc on our self-esteem, self-image, physical health, and mental health-regardless of age, race, religion, status, or sex.
My research has revealed many others who are being bullied.
Bullies know how to destroy self-confidence.
They also know how to create fear.
When Mimi S.
from Pennsylvania was bullied by members of the school administration, her self-confidence was one of the first things to go.
She began to question her every move, trying to avoid any action that would create more problems.
She became paranoid.
She simply didn't know who she could trust, and therefore she trusted no one.
And she became angry.
Her anger grew from frustration.
No one believed her story.
No one felt that the woman they knew would be the victim of a bully.
Even more important, no one outside the school system could or would admit that something was wrong.
As the mother of a special-needs child, she found herself losing patience and self-control.
When that happened, she knew that she needed to speak out and to find help.
And she needed to continue speaking out until people began to listen.
Only after she knew that someone understood could she begin to regain control of her life.
Bullies can do a lot of damage to your self-image, and calling on reprogramming techniques can be a saving grace.
My experience with bullies in the workplace lasted almost a decade.
I felt powerless, overwhelmed, isolated, ashamed, humiliated, and ugly.
I felt like yesterday's trash! These were feelings I had never felt even as a child who had been abandoned and abused.
The point is, I get it! I believe I can help you gain a better understanding about bullying and help you understand that we sometimes bully ourselves and contribute to our own unhappiness and unhealthy habits.
It is also my belief that my experiences will help you gain a better understanding of negative self-talk and demonstrate the necessity of reprogramming.
Tim Fields, the author of Bully in Sight: How to Predict, Resist, Challenge and Combat Workplace Bullying: Overcoming the Silence and Denial By Which Abuse Thrives, defines workplace bullying as "the repeated mistreatment of one's employee targeted by one or more employees with a malicious mix of humiliation, intimidation, and sabotage of performance.
" Fields also refers to workplace bullying as psychological harassment and violence done to you by others.
Zogby reported workplace bullying to be two to three times more prevalent than illegal discrimination, affecting one in six workers.
Bullies usually appear when someone in power or authority feels threatened by another person or subordinate that displays qualities and skills that they do not possess.
The bully's personality is dominated by his or her need to feel good.
Psychological Damages Related to Bullying Anxiety Depression Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) Loss of confidence Low self-esteem Personality disorders Periods of unworthiness Permanent or semi-permanent feelings of hopelessness Panic attacks Periods of tearfulness and irritability Sadness Lack of concentration Forgetfulness Loss of humor Loss of joyfulness Other forms of abuse also cause similar problems.
Even after someone is removed from an abusive situation, the effects can be long-lasting.
Another trauma or event can often cause these underlying problems to surface.
Psychological Damage Related to Domestic Violence, Rape, and Child Abuse Experience PTSD Waking up in a state of panic Nightmares Flashbacks Obsessive behaviors Avoidance of pleasurable activities Isolating self from friends and others Sleep deprivation Inability to concentrate Lashes out at others easily Feels guilty Feels shameful Feels unworthiness Feels hopeless Psychological Damages Related to Weight Issues Many people with weight issues have deeper problems.
For this very reason, I suggest that you see a professional who can help you deal with your true emotions.
If you fail to address these issues, you will keep repeating bad behavior.
P.
I.
E.
S is a vehicle to help you uncover your problem.
It is up to you to take action and help yourself.
Shame Guilt Isolation Unattractive Worthless Hopeless Low self-esteem Poor self-image Moody/emotional Flashbacks Lonely Shared Problems Bullies: create health problems, social problems, self-esteem, and self-image problems.
Abusers: create health problems, social problems, self-esteem, and self-image problems.
People with weight issues: create health problems, social problems, self-esteem, and self-image problems.
Exercise: Labels Write positive and negative labels given to you by yourself and others.
Your mother: Your father: Your siblings: Your spouse or significant other: Other family members: Your friends: Your teachers: Your spiritual leader/minister: Your employer: Your coworkers: Others: Yourself: Which messages played repeatedly in your head today? Which messages are true? List the negative messages: List the positive messages: List messages you feel you need to work on: Dump the negative messages.
Excerpt from: Lose the Baggage, Lose the Weight..
..
Bullies and Self-Image