No, You Don"t Have to Be A Water Slave To Your Orchids

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So, here I am at the counter talking to my Friendly Orchid Dealer when this guy comes up, out of breath and panicking,"How do I water orchids?" Friendly gave me that oh-boy-have-I-seen-this-before look, "Orchid watering is a tricky business.
You might think that just because they are tropical plants that you have to inundate them.
Its just not true.
" Panicking replied by garbling his next question, "How often...
water orchids?" I looked to Friendly, "It depends on the specific kind of orchid you have, though there are some guidelines you can follow.
" Panicking responded immediately, "Like what?" "Watering orchids indoors you have to be careful to not over water them.
Many people think that when the growing medium looks dry and crumbly that the plant is dry, too.
With orchids its more complicated than that.
You have to check the medium to make sure it really is dry, sometimes it is still moist to the touch when it looks dry.
Is your orchid mounted?" "Mounted," I blurted out.
Friendly looked over at me with that sly look, I had fallen straight into his hands, again.
He filled his lungs as though preparing to give an aria, "A mounted orchid is one that is mounted on a tree or post, they are also called epiphytic.
They tend to need more watering that potted plants.
" Panicking looked ashamed, "No, it is in a pot.
" Friendly nodded reassuringly, "That's perfectly fine, what kind of growing medium are you using?" Panicking also blurted out his answer, "Clay pellets," and he swallowed hard.
Friendly smiled, "Those are not as good at retaining moisture as, say, nuggets of pine bark, but they are still good.
The more water retention you have in your growing medium the less often you will have to water the orchid.
You will have to study the complete needs of your plant.
You will also need to make the area around the orchids humid, the ideal is about eighty percent humidity.
" Panicking looked, well, panicked.
Friendly quickly added, "You do not need your whole house to be tropical, just the area around the plants.
A lot of people get watering trays, essentially they are a shallow container of water with pebbles strewn about in the bottom.
You place the pot atop the pebbles--you must be careful not to allow the pot to sit in the water, but the moisture raises the humidity near the plants.
" Panicked nodded in understanding, "So, how often should I water them?" Friendly slapped himself on the forehead, "I am sorry, you asked that before and I didn't answer; as a rule you should water your orchid only once every twelve to fourteen days.
You should allow the growing media to dry completely before watering them" Panicking relaxed, then, "So, how often to water orchids depends on the medium?" Friendly replied, "That and the specific needs of the plant," they talked about the specific orchid he had, but he was no longer panicking.
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