As promised I told you I would tell you when my wife and I consider placing our son into a group home because we just couldn't handle his bipolar disorder.
With all the bipolar symptoms he demonstrated on a daily basis and a confirmed diagnosis of bipolar disorder we were facing a very uphill battle.
All the experts were telling us that we were not going to be able to control him on our own. He wasn't going to school at least one day a week. It got to a point that we had him arrested by the truant officer and taken to a Juvenile Correctional Facility for one day. This had a little impact but not a whole lot.
They finally gave us the name of a Group Home to go and visit along with our son. We reluctantly agreed but felt like we were being forced into a decision we were not comfortable with. They said that there were other children at the home who had bipolar disorder.
We made the appointment for an evening.
Very surprising the group home was very close to our neighborhood. It stood off by itself from a main road and had many trees around it. It was not all that big.
When we got there and parked before getting out of the car our son was asking a lot of questions. He wanted to know why we were here, etc. We had told him about a thousand times that we were trying to figure out the best solution on how to handle his not wanting to go to school or listen at all to us.
He reluctantly got out of the car and followed us in.
The person that was head of the group home met us at the door and welcomed us into the home.
The home was set up pretty much like any other home except that it had a more business like atmosphere to it.
She invited us to sit down at the table which we did.
The conversation was very in your face! She made no bones about telling our son that he would be responsible for doing chores, and listening and doing what was asked of him at all times. She was not rude or raising her voice, only firm and direct. She made herself very clear. I would have listened to her if I was staying there.
After the conversation at the table she gave us a tour of the place.
We got to see several of the children that were staying there and I must say that I knew then I could not place our son into this home.
Not because they were bad looking children or even that I thought he would be hurt. My gut told me that I was abandoning my son if I put him into a place like this. Late my wife told me she felt the exact same way.
This was a lonely place! The group home leader was a very good person that supplied all their needs including counseling and other things. But what they couldn't supply was the love we could for our Son.
We just needed a little bit more of what she had in firmness and structure.
Now I am embarrassed to say that I spent over 12 years in the Marine Corps and I am telling you that I needed to be more firm with my Son! Now if it was the enemy I was dealing with I would take their head off, but my problem was that I was too soft with my own son. All my children four children to be more specific!
Now just because our son acted out the bipolar symptoms we were not going to let it beat us and tear our family up. We could not abandon our child. Bipolar disorder or not, we were going to make it though this thing.
We did make it through it. Our son is now 21 and is living with schizophrenia.
Thank you and May God Bless You!
Follow our families struggles raising our adult son with a mental illness.
You can visit my website where I talk about being a parent of an adult son with schizophrenia and all the struggles we as parents go through. My wife and I have four children and have been married for over 25 years, so we have some experiences to share.
With all the bipolar symptoms he demonstrated on a daily basis and a confirmed diagnosis of bipolar disorder we were facing a very uphill battle.
All the experts were telling us that we were not going to be able to control him on our own. He wasn't going to school at least one day a week. It got to a point that we had him arrested by the truant officer and taken to a Juvenile Correctional Facility for one day. This had a little impact but not a whole lot.
They finally gave us the name of a Group Home to go and visit along with our son. We reluctantly agreed but felt like we were being forced into a decision we were not comfortable with. They said that there were other children at the home who had bipolar disorder.
We made the appointment for an evening.
Very surprising the group home was very close to our neighborhood. It stood off by itself from a main road and had many trees around it. It was not all that big.
When we got there and parked before getting out of the car our son was asking a lot of questions. He wanted to know why we were here, etc. We had told him about a thousand times that we were trying to figure out the best solution on how to handle his not wanting to go to school or listen at all to us.
He reluctantly got out of the car and followed us in.
The person that was head of the group home met us at the door and welcomed us into the home.
The home was set up pretty much like any other home except that it had a more business like atmosphere to it.
She invited us to sit down at the table which we did.
The conversation was very in your face! She made no bones about telling our son that he would be responsible for doing chores, and listening and doing what was asked of him at all times. She was not rude or raising her voice, only firm and direct. She made herself very clear. I would have listened to her if I was staying there.
After the conversation at the table she gave us a tour of the place.
We got to see several of the children that were staying there and I must say that I knew then I could not place our son into this home.
Not because they were bad looking children or even that I thought he would be hurt. My gut told me that I was abandoning my son if I put him into a place like this. Late my wife told me she felt the exact same way.
This was a lonely place! The group home leader was a very good person that supplied all their needs including counseling and other things. But what they couldn't supply was the love we could for our Son.
We just needed a little bit more of what she had in firmness and structure.
Now I am embarrassed to say that I spent over 12 years in the Marine Corps and I am telling you that I needed to be more firm with my Son! Now if it was the enemy I was dealing with I would take their head off, but my problem was that I was too soft with my own son. All my children four children to be more specific!
Now just because our son acted out the bipolar symptoms we were not going to let it beat us and tear our family up. We could not abandon our child. Bipolar disorder or not, we were going to make it though this thing.
We did make it through it. Our son is now 21 and is living with schizophrenia.
Thank you and May God Bless You!
Follow our families struggles raising our adult son with a mental illness.
You can visit my website where I talk about being a parent of an adult son with schizophrenia and all the struggles we as parents go through. My wife and I have four children and have been married for over 25 years, so we have some experiences to share.