My eldest child is only six and a half years old and in grade one.
My middle child is four years old who is now enrolled in Kindergarten 1.
The youngest of the three will be two years old come October 24, 2009.
They are all girls.
Three precocious angels that brighten and made our home complete.
My kids are the reasons why I and my husband are working double time.
They are the precious added value to our relationship.
We love them.
I love them.
So much that I try all the time to avoid hurting them in all aspects.
I have learned not to inflict any type of direct physical harm to my children.
Whenever they commit something that is against household and family rules, I tell them to face the wall for, like, three to five minutes, depending on the gravity of their offense.
(The youngest is, of course, excluded for now.
) In general, I discipline them through words.
Communication.
When I am angry at them, I show it in my voice by raising it a pitch, and not in the words that I use.
Household rule forbids anyone to swear or to use any demeaning words.
I talk to them explaining why this is allowed, that one is not; this can be done, that one cannot be.
My kids listen to explanations.
But, these kids are kids.
They always ask for something, anything that they would fancy like toys, food and lots of play time.
Or, they ask about something and anything that tip their curiousity like " Where did the egg come from?" or " How is ice cream made?" or " How did my baby sister get out from your tummy? Did she crawl out of your nose?" Sometimes, we would be exasperated at the countless requests and battery of questions that children throw at us, especially when we are busy with something else, like paperwork.
Most of the time, when we cannot afford their requests nor think that we do not have the time just yet to answer them, our tendency (after having repeatedly declined in soft voice) is to raise our voice to silence them.
This works most of the time.
Children would give up badgering us.
But, unknowingly, we are creating negative feelings in them when we do this.
It is either a feeling of fear, hatred or indifference towards us, and not respect.
No parent would want this.
Whenever I have to say No to my children, I talk to them as if they are adults.
One time, my eldest kid came to me while I was doing my report that was due on the morrow.
She asked me if I could buy her a new school bag.
I did not stop what I was doing but I told her that a new school bag is not in my budget right now but that I will buy her one if I am able to earn extra money before the month ends.
Then I explained to her the family's financial situation without being too technical.
I believe children in school age would already understand this.
My older kids do most of the time.
It even motivated them to do better in school so that, they said, they would have a good job and be able to provide for us their parents when we get old.
Giving our children due respect and not treating them as inferior will develop their capability to also respect and understand others.
The ways we say no to them could help in this aspect.
"No" is already a negative word.
If we deliver it in a manner that is hurting, we will be contributing to the child's having a negative perspective in life.
My middle child is four years old who is now enrolled in Kindergarten 1.
The youngest of the three will be two years old come October 24, 2009.
They are all girls.
Three precocious angels that brighten and made our home complete.
My kids are the reasons why I and my husband are working double time.
They are the precious added value to our relationship.
We love them.
I love them.
So much that I try all the time to avoid hurting them in all aspects.
I have learned not to inflict any type of direct physical harm to my children.
Whenever they commit something that is against household and family rules, I tell them to face the wall for, like, three to five minutes, depending on the gravity of their offense.
(The youngest is, of course, excluded for now.
) In general, I discipline them through words.
Communication.
When I am angry at them, I show it in my voice by raising it a pitch, and not in the words that I use.
Household rule forbids anyone to swear or to use any demeaning words.
I talk to them explaining why this is allowed, that one is not; this can be done, that one cannot be.
My kids listen to explanations.
But, these kids are kids.
They always ask for something, anything that they would fancy like toys, food and lots of play time.
Or, they ask about something and anything that tip their curiousity like " Where did the egg come from?" or " How is ice cream made?" or " How did my baby sister get out from your tummy? Did she crawl out of your nose?" Sometimes, we would be exasperated at the countless requests and battery of questions that children throw at us, especially when we are busy with something else, like paperwork.
Most of the time, when we cannot afford their requests nor think that we do not have the time just yet to answer them, our tendency (after having repeatedly declined in soft voice) is to raise our voice to silence them.
This works most of the time.
Children would give up badgering us.
But, unknowingly, we are creating negative feelings in them when we do this.
It is either a feeling of fear, hatred or indifference towards us, and not respect.
No parent would want this.
Whenever I have to say No to my children, I talk to them as if they are adults.
One time, my eldest kid came to me while I was doing my report that was due on the morrow.
She asked me if I could buy her a new school bag.
I did not stop what I was doing but I told her that a new school bag is not in my budget right now but that I will buy her one if I am able to earn extra money before the month ends.
Then I explained to her the family's financial situation without being too technical.
I believe children in school age would already understand this.
My older kids do most of the time.
It even motivated them to do better in school so that, they said, they would have a good job and be able to provide for us their parents when we get old.
Giving our children due respect and not treating them as inferior will develop their capability to also respect and understand others.
The ways we say no to them could help in this aspect.
"No" is already a negative word.
If we deliver it in a manner that is hurting, we will be contributing to the child's having a negative perspective in life.