If you look at the movies or romance novels, you'd come to believe every time everyone else has sex, the rafters shake, bells ring, and both participants have earth shattering multiple orgasms.
At the same time.
It's easy to feel like you and yours don't measure up if you're expecting to deliver this kind of performance every time.
Time to get a grip.
Life is not a movie, especially porn a movie, nor a romance novel...
and you're not characters in either.
For us mere mortals, every lovemaking session does not, and will not, ring bells or take us to a new plane of existence.
Stop worrying about rating your performance, and start enjoying each other.
Paradoxically, the sooner you stop worrying, the sooner your enjoyment will increase.
Even if you change nothing else! Sometimes your time together will be fun, sometimes funny, and a few times the best you'll get is some version of "at least we did it.
" Intimacy means attending to all your wants and needs, everything from a quick poke to a humorous roll in the hay, to quiet consolation, or a deep intimate connection.
You can laugh, cry, giggle and sigh...
and sometimes, just sometimes, hit the bell of earth shattering.
Studies show most couples, regardless of age, rate their own intimate sessions as great less than 30% of the time.
The rest of the times vary from "well we did it" to "not too bad" to some version of "we're not going to do that again.
" So, stop worrying about rating your performance, and start enjoying yourself.