How do I count thee, Oh 1500? (Aside from the mangled allusion to Sonnets from the Portuguese, I should explain that 1500 refers to a 1500-miles-in-24-hours motorcycle trip, named a Bun Burner Gold by the Iron Butt Association, a long-distance motorcycling club.
) Word of warning: This ride is an endurance trip, not a race.
You get no prize for taking less than the allotted time.
Let's do a little math.
1500 miles divided by 24 hours equals 62.
5 miles per hour.
Now that's not an unreasonable speed, and maybe once you could average that if you got a good night's sleep beforehand, and arranged to end the 24 hours before it got dark.
Pretty hard to do, and out of the question if you want to do more than one in a row.
(Yes, some very healthy, tough, insane folks attempt the Trifecta: three of these rides on three consecutive days.
) So let's give ourselves a little sleep, shall we? 1500 divided by a long day in the saddle, 18 hours, gives 83.
3 mph.
That's your average, not counting gas and potty breaks.
That means you want to pick your highways pretty carefully, lest you receive any performance awards (bikerspeak for speeding ticket) and their attendant delays.
What if we compromise and do a really long day, say 20 hours on the road? The average becomes more reasonable at 75 mph.
You should be able to get away with that on a lot of open interstates and some back roads west of the Mississippi.
If you live on the east coast, you have a problem.
Not too many empty roads.
That leads me to the Three Phases of the Long Ride.
Permission, Preparation, and Production.
Phase One - Permission.
(nb-if you're a woman rider, please change all the gender references that follow.
) You will not complete this ride without some kind of support group.
Unless you're leaving your wife for good, I suggest that you need her support.
Moral support, and maybe logistical.
Presumably she's your most loyal fan, and more willing to help out than others would be, especially if it calls for weird hours.
My motorcycle was a birthday gift from my dear sweet wife, so I have a pretty good start on the permission angle.
You should take her needs into account.
Get yourself some really good insurance for the trip, but don't make too big a deal about it.
This is to help her over the hump if you mangle yourself; it is not a way to persuade her to let you do it.
Unless you're having the problems I alluded to above.
Have a serious talk, and find out her actual worries.
Your wife is the best person in the world for knowing your weaknesses, and if she has any worries, those are your most important preparation tasks.
If she's worried about you being eaten by rattlesnakes if you sleep on the ground next to your bike, arrange to crash (metaphorically) with someone in a motorcycle club.
Promise to observe your body's tiredness signals, and describe them to her, so she'll know you're not bluffing.
Show her the route.
Promise to call.
Do some practice trips; get her used to the idea-whatever she needs.
They will turn out to be things you also need.
Do them, and you, the ride, and she will all be happier.
I'll get into some of these things in more detail later, because they fall into the preparation category.
A ride is more likely to succeed with a cheering squad at home.
Phase Two - Preparation.
Preparation has three parts-you, your bike, and your logistics, not necessarily in that order.
Logistics: If you want proof that you really rode 1500 miles in 24 hours, Google the Iron Butt Association and look up Bun Burner Gold.
Follow their instructions exactly.
The IBA BBG is called an extreme ride, so they're pretty sticky about the documentation.
You need to have someone (not you), say that you actually started on the ride, and actually finished.
Doesn't have to be the same person on both ends of the ride, and doesn't have to be an IBA member, but your witnesses do have to sign the form and be willing to answer a phone call from the IBA about the ride.
Bike: I'm assuming you're riding a BMW or similar touring bike with a full fairing.
Do not attempt this ride on a crotch rocket.
Have someone who knows your type of bike give the bike a thorough going-over (for BMWs, I use Tom Cutter of the World Famous Rubber Chicken Racing Garage).
And have him do the repairs he suggests.
Motorcycles, good as they are, are not as dependable as cars.
Sorry, but them's the facts.
You can pretty well count on most cars nowadays going 100K miles with nothing but an occasional oil change.
Not so motorcycles, even BMWs.
You're about to put a lot of stress on that bike, and nothing ruins a good ride like an unexpected breakdown.
Except an accident, but that's different.
You: Wean yourself from coffee for a couple weeks.
Get it thoroughly out of your system.
That way, if you need that little caffeine boost, you won't be used to it, and it'll have the desired effect.
Logistics: Plan out the ride, and include alternatives to your route.
Print out maps.
Memorize the route.
Calculate where you might stop for gas.
Program the GPS.
Print maps even if you have a GPS.
Do not depend on the GPS.
Figure out the timing so you're not going through major metro areas during rush hour.
A nice Baltimore to Key West by way of Atlanta trip is 1503 miles.
Straight shot, all interstate, nice destination, but you have to go through Baltimore, DC, Richmond, Atlanta, Jacksonville, and Miami to get there.
Hmm.
Consider doing your BBG as a one-day break in a nice relaxing vacation out west.
Your wife can loounge by the pool and shop while you twist the throttle.
West edge of Omaha to east of Salt Lake City and back, maybe.
You'll need a witness in SLC.
Bike: If you put on new tires, put a couple hundred miles on them before the ride.
Gets the manufacturing oil off.
If your mechanic's checkup involves any new parts, ride a while to be sure everything's okay, and you're comfortable with the changes.
Same thing with new accessories.
You want to be sure that new tank bag doesn't have a tendency to slide left all the time.
You: Do a Saddlesore ride ("only" 1000 miles) first.
For one thing, the IBA requires at least one other long ride before you do a BBG, but you really need to know how your bike feels to you (and how you feel) after a bunch of hours in the saddle.
Decide if you can stand that slight angle to your handlebars that bends your wrist a little too much.
Bike: Ah, the issue of carrying extra gasoline.
An auxiliary tank can reduce the number of stops.
I get almost 250 miles from a tankful of highway driving.
If you average 75 mph, that's about three hours.
Plenty long for me.
I've never used an auxiliary tank.
The break every three hours is worth it.
1500 divided by 250 is six stops.
Doable.
Logistics: If something happens that ends the ride prematurely, you might still have a Saddlesore in there.
That's a decent consolation prize.
Plan alternative start dates.
You do not have to tell the IBA when you're going to do the ride.
If you get unexpected bad weather, it's okay to start a day or week later.
You: Phase three!
) Word of warning: This ride is an endurance trip, not a race.
You get no prize for taking less than the allotted time.
Let's do a little math.
1500 miles divided by 24 hours equals 62.
5 miles per hour.
Now that's not an unreasonable speed, and maybe once you could average that if you got a good night's sleep beforehand, and arranged to end the 24 hours before it got dark.
Pretty hard to do, and out of the question if you want to do more than one in a row.
(Yes, some very healthy, tough, insane folks attempt the Trifecta: three of these rides on three consecutive days.
) So let's give ourselves a little sleep, shall we? 1500 divided by a long day in the saddle, 18 hours, gives 83.
3 mph.
That's your average, not counting gas and potty breaks.
That means you want to pick your highways pretty carefully, lest you receive any performance awards (bikerspeak for speeding ticket) and their attendant delays.
What if we compromise and do a really long day, say 20 hours on the road? The average becomes more reasonable at 75 mph.
You should be able to get away with that on a lot of open interstates and some back roads west of the Mississippi.
If you live on the east coast, you have a problem.
Not too many empty roads.
That leads me to the Three Phases of the Long Ride.
Permission, Preparation, and Production.
Phase One - Permission.
(nb-if you're a woman rider, please change all the gender references that follow.
) You will not complete this ride without some kind of support group.
Unless you're leaving your wife for good, I suggest that you need her support.
Moral support, and maybe logistical.
Presumably she's your most loyal fan, and more willing to help out than others would be, especially if it calls for weird hours.
My motorcycle was a birthday gift from my dear sweet wife, so I have a pretty good start on the permission angle.
You should take her needs into account.
Get yourself some really good insurance for the trip, but don't make too big a deal about it.
This is to help her over the hump if you mangle yourself; it is not a way to persuade her to let you do it.
Unless you're having the problems I alluded to above.
Have a serious talk, and find out her actual worries.
Your wife is the best person in the world for knowing your weaknesses, and if she has any worries, those are your most important preparation tasks.
If she's worried about you being eaten by rattlesnakes if you sleep on the ground next to your bike, arrange to crash (metaphorically) with someone in a motorcycle club.
Promise to observe your body's tiredness signals, and describe them to her, so she'll know you're not bluffing.
Show her the route.
Promise to call.
Do some practice trips; get her used to the idea-whatever she needs.
They will turn out to be things you also need.
Do them, and you, the ride, and she will all be happier.
I'll get into some of these things in more detail later, because they fall into the preparation category.
A ride is more likely to succeed with a cheering squad at home.
Phase Two - Preparation.
Preparation has three parts-you, your bike, and your logistics, not necessarily in that order.
Logistics: If you want proof that you really rode 1500 miles in 24 hours, Google the Iron Butt Association and look up Bun Burner Gold.
Follow their instructions exactly.
The IBA BBG is called an extreme ride, so they're pretty sticky about the documentation.
You need to have someone (not you), say that you actually started on the ride, and actually finished.
Doesn't have to be the same person on both ends of the ride, and doesn't have to be an IBA member, but your witnesses do have to sign the form and be willing to answer a phone call from the IBA about the ride.
Bike: I'm assuming you're riding a BMW or similar touring bike with a full fairing.
Do not attempt this ride on a crotch rocket.
Have someone who knows your type of bike give the bike a thorough going-over (for BMWs, I use Tom Cutter of the World Famous Rubber Chicken Racing Garage).
And have him do the repairs he suggests.
Motorcycles, good as they are, are not as dependable as cars.
Sorry, but them's the facts.
You can pretty well count on most cars nowadays going 100K miles with nothing but an occasional oil change.
Not so motorcycles, even BMWs.
You're about to put a lot of stress on that bike, and nothing ruins a good ride like an unexpected breakdown.
Except an accident, but that's different.
You: Wean yourself from coffee for a couple weeks.
Get it thoroughly out of your system.
That way, if you need that little caffeine boost, you won't be used to it, and it'll have the desired effect.
Logistics: Plan out the ride, and include alternatives to your route.
Print out maps.
Memorize the route.
Calculate where you might stop for gas.
Program the GPS.
Print maps even if you have a GPS.
Do not depend on the GPS.
Figure out the timing so you're not going through major metro areas during rush hour.
A nice Baltimore to Key West by way of Atlanta trip is 1503 miles.
Straight shot, all interstate, nice destination, but you have to go through Baltimore, DC, Richmond, Atlanta, Jacksonville, and Miami to get there.
Hmm.
Consider doing your BBG as a one-day break in a nice relaxing vacation out west.
Your wife can loounge by the pool and shop while you twist the throttle.
West edge of Omaha to east of Salt Lake City and back, maybe.
You'll need a witness in SLC.
Bike: If you put on new tires, put a couple hundred miles on them before the ride.
Gets the manufacturing oil off.
If your mechanic's checkup involves any new parts, ride a while to be sure everything's okay, and you're comfortable with the changes.
Same thing with new accessories.
You want to be sure that new tank bag doesn't have a tendency to slide left all the time.
You: Do a Saddlesore ride ("only" 1000 miles) first.
For one thing, the IBA requires at least one other long ride before you do a BBG, but you really need to know how your bike feels to you (and how you feel) after a bunch of hours in the saddle.
Decide if you can stand that slight angle to your handlebars that bends your wrist a little too much.
Bike: Ah, the issue of carrying extra gasoline.
An auxiliary tank can reduce the number of stops.
I get almost 250 miles from a tankful of highway driving.
If you average 75 mph, that's about three hours.
Plenty long for me.
I've never used an auxiliary tank.
The break every three hours is worth it.
1500 divided by 250 is six stops.
Doable.
Logistics: If something happens that ends the ride prematurely, you might still have a Saddlesore in there.
That's a decent consolation prize.
Plan alternative start dates.
You do not have to tell the IBA when you're going to do the ride.
If you get unexpected bad weather, it's okay to start a day or week later.
You: Phase three!