You may think this is a bold statement.
The most important skill in life-what could that be? Before we dive in, I will ask you to reflect just a bit.
Think of when you established a relationship with your spouse or very close friend (perhaps they are the same person).
What did you do in the beginning when you were first meeting and getting to know one another? Every time I am interested in a person, I begin the relationship by listening.
I might watch them move, see their clothes, and then, out of pure curiosity, I ask them questions.
What is the most important skill in life? Listening.
How do are we taught how to listen? Many of us learn to listen (or not) through the modeling of our parents, teachers and friends.
However, very few of us study listening with the intention of mastering this skill.
It is so important and it can truly mean gaining success in life or not.
Here are three usable steps that will increase your listening abilities, helping you to develop relationships that ultimately guide you towards your goals and success in life.
Step One See the words.
See the message as well as hear the message.
We communicate verbally, non-verbally, and with energy.
What this means for us as we practice listening is that what someone says to us with their words conveys only a part of their message.
The way they dress, stand, and move speaks much more of their full message.
We must incorporate our eyes into listening as well as our ears.
A Zen master is quoted as saying "Listen with the eyes and see with the ears.
" Step Two Listen completely.

"I like to listen.
I have learned a great deal from listening carefully.
Most people never listen.
" Earnest Hemmingway

Most people are developing what they want to say next as you speak to them.
This is not listening.
When we completely listen we are suspending judgment and keeping our minds free of thoughts.
Our brains will automatically file the words and information for our recall and this happens much faster than we can actually "think" about it anyway.
Allow people the respect of space and offer them the space to speak by clearing your mind, listening with your eyes, and suspending your own judgment.
Step Three Model.
Use your body posture to model that of the speaker.
You will develop a relationship faster and you will make the situation comfortable for the story teller.
This means you may cross your arms if the speaker has their arms crossed or perhaps you sit down if the speaker is sitting.
The act of mirroring the speaker does a few things.
One, it is an equalizer and comfort grows.
Two, we are all energy, and by modeling we create a relationship-we begin to carry similar energy as the other person.
This leads us to three by mirroring we are more apt to feel what the person is saying as well as to hear it.
This creates empathy.
Empathy is another series of articles and it can be taught to any age group of people.
Listening is the most important skill in life and it is a skill we can practice daily.
What will you do today?