Definition:
An informal term in British English for humorous or absurd verbal gaffes, particularly those uttered by sports and news announcers.
Coined in the 1960s by the editors of the British satirical magazine Private Eye, the term Colemanballs was named after BBC sports presenter David Coleman (1926-2013), who was affectionately known for his verbal fumbles and non sequiturs (both actual and fabricated).
See Examples and Observations, below.
Related terms in American English include howlers, Yogiisms (named after Hall of Fame baseball player Yogi Berra), and Goldwynisms (named after movie producer Samuel Goldwyn).
See also:
- Double Entendre
- Eggcorn
- Malaphor
- Malapropism
- Mixed Metaphor
- Slip of the Tongue
- Solecism
- Spoonerism
- What Is a Malapropism? Decapitated Coffee and the Salivation Army
Examples and Observations:
- "That's the fastest time ever run--but it's not as fast as the world record."
(David Coleman, quoted in Private Eye's Colemanballs 3, ed. by Barry Fantoni, 1986) - "When your back's against the wall, you have to turn round and fight."
(British Prime Minister John Major, quoted by Albert Jack in It's a Wonderful Word: The Real Origins of Our Favourite Words. Penguin, 2011) - "He used to be fairly indecisive, but now he's not so certain."
(Peter Alliss, quoted in Private Eye's Colemanballs 3, ed. by Barry Fantoni, 1986) - "There's been a colour clash: both teams are wearing white."
(John Motson, quoted by Ned Sherrin in Cutting Edge, 1984)
- "I don't think he's ever lost a race at 200 metres, except at 400."
"There's a mistake on the scoreboard: they're only showing his Christian names, Ismail Ibrahim."
"I was keeping my legs and fingers crossed for him."
"It's a race that the Kenyans have dominated--but, looking at the records, it's the first time they've won it."
("The All-Time Top Colemanballs--as Selected by Private Eye." The Independent, April 26, 1996) - Mixing Metaphors
"The entertainment value of Colemanballs (in the magazine Private Eye) lies in the way in which a speaker inadvertently mixes or confuses metaphors, or creates a clash between literal and metaphorical meanings:With regard to the broken finger, when batting I'll just have to play it by ear.
(Murray Knowles and Rosamund Moon, Introducing Metaphor. Routledge, 2006)
Messner was a great mountaineer, but now he's 59. Surely he's past his peak?
(Fantoni, ed., Colemanballs 12, 2004)" - Illogicalities
"Many of the most amusing Colemanballs are not true malapropisms. Rather, they involve illogicalities.
"My favourite is: Some of the players never dreamed they'd be playing in a cup final at Wembley--but here they are today, fulfilling those dreams."
(Richard Watson Todd, Much Ado About English: Up and Down the Bizarre Byways of a Fascinating Language. Nicholas Brealey, 2007) - David Coleman's Linguistic Legacy
"Only the English have truly risen to the challenge posed by Ana Thome Williams, a Brazilian-born senior lecturer in linguistics at Northwestern University and the author of the recent book O Jogo Narrado (The Game Narrated): 'Commentators have to transform soccer into art—not everyone can do that.' Well, the English can. Even if it’s sometimes bad art.
"The person we have mainly to thank for this is David Coleman, who died six months ago, at the age of 87. Coleman was the voice of BBC Sport for four decades, hosting his own show and anchoring Grandstand, the Saturday afternoon multi-sport spectacular. . . .
"The most delicious legacy of the man was his gaffes, to which the satirical magazine Private Eye used to devote a regular column. The constant risk of Coleman’s overripe rhetorical style was the foot in the mouth, the half-cooked sentence that came tumbling out before the gears of the brain were fully engaged. Private Eye dubbed them Colemanballs.
"'Here they come, every color of the rainbow: black, white, brown.'
"'And he missed the goal by literally a million miles.'
"'If that had gone in, it would have been a goal.'
"'With alphabetical irony, Nigeria follows New Zealand.' (Huh?) . . .
"[F]or as long as the English call the plays, the World Cup will be especially fertile soil for Colemanballs. . . .
"'Beckenbauer really has gambled all his eggs.'
"'England have not won a game for three months. The fact that we haven’t played one is irrelevant.' (Definitely my personal favorite.)"
(George Black, "In Brazil, the Joy of English." The New Yorker, June 30, 2014)
"The magazine Private Eye named its column of sports broadcasters' gaffes, 'Colemanballs,' after [David Coleman], and he made plenty. But who wouldn't, in hours of live broadcasting? Rarely did that criticism come from his fellow professionals, either in sport or broadcasting."
(Martin Kelner, Sit Down and Cheer: A History of Sport on TV. Bloomsbury, 2012)