A friend of mine sent me a recorded "pick up" that he did.
It was clear to me, as an outside observer, when this particular interaction "jumped the shark.
" It got to the point where her answers started to become shorter, and her involvement in the conversation switched from an active to a passive role.
Similarly, his involved when from "enjoyer" of a conversation, where you're relaxed and enjoying the back and forth, to the "chaser" where you desperately trying to keep the conversation flowing.
Once you get to this point, you're done.
As George Castanza wisely pointed out, you've got to exit on a high note.
If you hang around too long, you may turn what could have been a successful pick up into some kind of intrusive bother, in her mind.
How do you know the difference? If you get to that point in the conversation when you feel as though you're wishing or hoping, it's too late.
As soon as you feel that feeling, you'd better cut and run.
Suddenly remember that you've got to be somewhere, ask for her number, and split.
The best defense, however, is a good offense.
This means you've got to close before you start losing control.
This is tough.
Here's how it usually happens.
You see a girl.
You'd like to talk to her.
You get nervous.
You grab your confidence and make move.
You start talking to her, and lo and behold, she seems to like it.
This surprising acceptance by a cute girl coupled with the sudden disappearance of your anxiety is a really, really good feeling.
So good that you forgot why you came over there.
You're just finding yourself in a conversation with a hot girl.
Evolutionary programming takes over, and you suddenly want to milk that conversation for all it's worth.
After all, your caveman brain doesn't know anything about mobile phones or coffee shops or hook ups.
All it knows is there's a cute girl in front of you, and you'd better not let this opportunity go to waste.
You've got resist this urge.
The best way is to force yourself to get the number, and walk away despite your caveman brain screaming the opposite.
The only way to do this is to set up a series of signals.
If she smiles and accepts your intrusion, get her talking.
If she's participating in the conversation, that's a green light.
Get the number and split.
Give yourself a maximum of three or four minutes.
Know how you're going to ask for the number BEFORE you walk over there.
It may be tough to pull yourself away from a hottie that's into you, but remember what you'll be doing.
You'll be leaving her with a feeling of wanting to see you again.
It was clear to me, as an outside observer, when this particular interaction "jumped the shark.
" It got to the point where her answers started to become shorter, and her involvement in the conversation switched from an active to a passive role.
Similarly, his involved when from "enjoyer" of a conversation, where you're relaxed and enjoying the back and forth, to the "chaser" where you desperately trying to keep the conversation flowing.
Once you get to this point, you're done.
As George Castanza wisely pointed out, you've got to exit on a high note.
If you hang around too long, you may turn what could have been a successful pick up into some kind of intrusive bother, in her mind.
How do you know the difference? If you get to that point in the conversation when you feel as though you're wishing or hoping, it's too late.
As soon as you feel that feeling, you'd better cut and run.
Suddenly remember that you've got to be somewhere, ask for her number, and split.
The best defense, however, is a good offense.
This means you've got to close before you start losing control.
This is tough.
Here's how it usually happens.
You see a girl.
You'd like to talk to her.
You get nervous.
You grab your confidence and make move.
You start talking to her, and lo and behold, she seems to like it.
This surprising acceptance by a cute girl coupled with the sudden disappearance of your anxiety is a really, really good feeling.
So good that you forgot why you came over there.
You're just finding yourself in a conversation with a hot girl.
Evolutionary programming takes over, and you suddenly want to milk that conversation for all it's worth.
After all, your caveman brain doesn't know anything about mobile phones or coffee shops or hook ups.
All it knows is there's a cute girl in front of you, and you'd better not let this opportunity go to waste.
You've got resist this urge.
The best way is to force yourself to get the number, and walk away despite your caveman brain screaming the opposite.
The only way to do this is to set up a series of signals.
If she smiles and accepts your intrusion, get her talking.
If she's participating in the conversation, that's a green light.
Get the number and split.
Give yourself a maximum of three or four minutes.
Know how you're going to ask for the number BEFORE you walk over there.
It may be tough to pull yourself away from a hottie that's into you, but remember what you'll be doing.
You'll be leaving her with a feeling of wanting to see you again.