There are many things that come into play when you are in a serious relationship that can mean the difference between a healthy and a very unhealthy one. Some things you'll find there is a little give, but others if something isn't present as much as possible, it can doom the relationship.
Here are 5 of the most important things that contribute to a healthy relationship.
1. Being with the Right Person!
That sounds obvious, but how many people have you known that have been with the wrong person? I'm not talking about a couple that is a little wrong for each other. No relationship is perfect. I mean really wrong!
Unless from the beginning you start by being with someone that likes to do things with you, has similar interests and a similar attitude in general, you'll be doomed to walk the rest of your life in regret.
If you have two opposing views on every topic and struggle doing what the other likes to do, then you are on a tremulous path.
2. Forgiveness
It has to be there. If you plan on having a long and fruitful life together, you need to learn to forgive each others mistakes along the way. Even the most terrible ones! If they are too terrible and you can't forgive the one you love, then ready yourself for serious problems.
Broken and struggling couples are quick to accuse and take a long time to forgive if they ever do. They become cynical and angry towards the other. This is a doomed situation.
If your partner loses it and says something nasty to you, shake it off. Everyone has mood swings and if they love you, it's probably not personal.
3. Flexibility
Healthy relationships depend on each partner being flexible. There is a give and take with a relationship. One of you might like shopping at Wal-Mart and the other doesn't, but that doesn't mean you don't shop together.
It should be this way throughout your life. No one should keep score like, "I did 'x' amount with you and did what you wanted to do, but you haven't done 'x' with me and what I want to do yet!"
This is a matter of supporting and caring about each others needs and desires. If you love someone, that shouldn't be an issue. Just spending time together should be fun!
4. Communication
This is definitely in the top 5. How many relationships have problems because one of the parties doesn't communicate with the other? The answer is many! I might even venture to say it's a leading cause of issues.
Make sure you don't keep things bottled up until they boil over. If there is something bothering you, speak up!
And if you did something wrong, please talk to the other about it; remember I talked about forgiveness earlier in this article? Certainly you don't want your partner to find something out through the grapevine and from another party! Then forgiveness will be harder to come by.
Spend time each day talking about your day. Put time aside to just hang out and chat about things. Keep the communication channels open as much as possible.
5. Plan Your Life Together
To keep your relationship healthy, make sure you plan and do things together. This includes both short term and long term.
Plan what you are going to do this coming week. Plan dates together, outings and even time to bum around town. The best time I have with my own wife is when I'm planning a weekend away. It's fun to plan!
But also plan some things you can do to get away this coming year or years. And what your goals are with your life in general. By having goals together, the struggles of today will seem lighter.
All 5 of these traits are important to insure you have a long and healthy relationship. If you are weak in some area, think about how you can do more.
A relationship is a partnership. Neither of you is on an island alone. Do all the things above and it will go a long way in making any potentially unhealthy relationship much, much healthier.
-Joe Taylor
Here are 5 of the most important things that contribute to a healthy relationship.
1. Being with the Right Person!
That sounds obvious, but how many people have you known that have been with the wrong person? I'm not talking about a couple that is a little wrong for each other. No relationship is perfect. I mean really wrong!
Unless from the beginning you start by being with someone that likes to do things with you, has similar interests and a similar attitude in general, you'll be doomed to walk the rest of your life in regret.
If you have two opposing views on every topic and struggle doing what the other likes to do, then you are on a tremulous path.
2. Forgiveness
It has to be there. If you plan on having a long and fruitful life together, you need to learn to forgive each others mistakes along the way. Even the most terrible ones! If they are too terrible and you can't forgive the one you love, then ready yourself for serious problems.
Broken and struggling couples are quick to accuse and take a long time to forgive if they ever do. They become cynical and angry towards the other. This is a doomed situation.
If your partner loses it and says something nasty to you, shake it off. Everyone has mood swings and if they love you, it's probably not personal.
3. Flexibility
Healthy relationships depend on each partner being flexible. There is a give and take with a relationship. One of you might like shopping at Wal-Mart and the other doesn't, but that doesn't mean you don't shop together.
It should be this way throughout your life. No one should keep score like, "I did 'x' amount with you and did what you wanted to do, but you haven't done 'x' with me and what I want to do yet!"
This is a matter of supporting and caring about each others needs and desires. If you love someone, that shouldn't be an issue. Just spending time together should be fun!
4. Communication
This is definitely in the top 5. How many relationships have problems because one of the parties doesn't communicate with the other? The answer is many! I might even venture to say it's a leading cause of issues.
Make sure you don't keep things bottled up until they boil over. If there is something bothering you, speak up!
And if you did something wrong, please talk to the other about it; remember I talked about forgiveness earlier in this article? Certainly you don't want your partner to find something out through the grapevine and from another party! Then forgiveness will be harder to come by.
Spend time each day talking about your day. Put time aside to just hang out and chat about things. Keep the communication channels open as much as possible.
5. Plan Your Life Together
To keep your relationship healthy, make sure you plan and do things together. This includes both short term and long term.
Plan what you are going to do this coming week. Plan dates together, outings and even time to bum around town. The best time I have with my own wife is when I'm planning a weekend away. It's fun to plan!
But also plan some things you can do to get away this coming year or years. And what your goals are with your life in general. By having goals together, the struggles of today will seem lighter.
All 5 of these traits are important to insure you have a long and healthy relationship. If you are weak in some area, think about how you can do more.
A relationship is a partnership. Neither of you is on an island alone. Do all the things above and it will go a long way in making any potentially unhealthy relationship much, much healthier.
-Joe Taylor