Updated February 06, 2013.
The conventional wisdom is that you should wait to share your pregnancy news until you are about three months along, mainly because the risk of miscarriage is highest in the first three months (10% to 20%). But just because something is conventional does not mean that it is necessarily best for you. Depending on your circumstances, you may wish to spread the news earlier or later.
There are a few benefits of simply sharing the news of your pregnancy early.
One big one is that you don't have to keep secret something that is a huge part of your life. Being pregnant is something that naturally tends to be on your mind a good chunk of the day, and if you are suffering from morning sickness or fatigue (both common in the first trimester), that is hard to explain away without others wondering why you didn't simply stay home and recover from your "illness."
In some cases, you may need to tell your supervisor at work or your coworkers that you are expecting. If you work situation includes toxic chemicals, for example, you may need to ask for a temporary reassignment during your pregnancy. If your pregnancy has been deemed high risk and you need frequent doctor appointments from the beginning, it is easier to get the time off from work if you are upfront with your supervisor about why you need to be away.
Another benefit of telling early is that you could have the support of your friends and relatives if you did miscarry. It is probably a good idea to tell at least those people whose support you would need if you miscarried.
Of course, there is the definite benefit to telling later, too. You may want to consider waiting for the results of any genetic screening or testing before sharing the news. In addition, it is unfortunately true that there is a risk of miscarriage in the first trimester of an established pregnancy. In the event that you would miscarry, you would then be forced to tell that news to everyone who you told about the pregnancy -- including your annoying sister-in-law who gives you unwanted advice on everything, or that coworker who just can't resist making snide comments at every turn. There is also the risk that you would forget to tell someone, who would then accidentally come asking you how the baby was doing without realizing what had happened.
But even with the risk of miscarriage aside, you may simply prefer not to have everyone know about your pregnancy -- at least, not right away. People may offer you a lot of unsolicited comments and advice when they learn of your pregnancy, and you may want to postpone that as long as possible.
If you are pregnant after a miscarriage and had a negative experience with your social circle's reaction to your loss, that may be another reason to wait to tell about your new pregnancy until it looks like the risk is lower.
Of course, there is no rule on what is right for everyone. Simply put, the best time to tell is when you feel you are ready and want to. Take your time and consider the specifics of your situation.
The conventional wisdom is that you should wait to share your pregnancy news until you are about three months along, mainly because the risk of miscarriage is highest in the first three months (10% to 20%). But just because something is conventional does not mean that it is necessarily best for you. Depending on your circumstances, you may wish to spread the news earlier or later.
Telling Early
There are a few benefits of simply sharing the news of your pregnancy early.
One big one is that you don't have to keep secret something that is a huge part of your life. Being pregnant is something that naturally tends to be on your mind a good chunk of the day, and if you are suffering from morning sickness or fatigue (both common in the first trimester), that is hard to explain away without others wondering why you didn't simply stay home and recover from your "illness."
In some cases, you may need to tell your supervisor at work or your coworkers that you are expecting. If you work situation includes toxic chemicals, for example, you may need to ask for a temporary reassignment during your pregnancy. If your pregnancy has been deemed high risk and you need frequent doctor appointments from the beginning, it is easier to get the time off from work if you are upfront with your supervisor about why you need to be away.
Another benefit of telling early is that you could have the support of your friends and relatives if you did miscarry. It is probably a good idea to tell at least those people whose support you would need if you miscarried.
Telling Later
Of course, there is the definite benefit to telling later, too. You may want to consider waiting for the results of any genetic screening or testing before sharing the news. In addition, it is unfortunately true that there is a risk of miscarriage in the first trimester of an established pregnancy. In the event that you would miscarry, you would then be forced to tell that news to everyone who you told about the pregnancy -- including your annoying sister-in-law who gives you unwanted advice on everything, or that coworker who just can't resist making snide comments at every turn. There is also the risk that you would forget to tell someone, who would then accidentally come asking you how the baby was doing without realizing what had happened.
But even with the risk of miscarriage aside, you may simply prefer not to have everyone know about your pregnancy -- at least, not right away. People may offer you a lot of unsolicited comments and advice when they learn of your pregnancy, and you may want to postpone that as long as possible.
If you are pregnant after a miscarriage and had a negative experience with your social circle's reaction to your loss, that may be another reason to wait to tell about your new pregnancy until it looks like the risk is lower.
The Right Time to Tell
Of course, there is no rule on what is right for everyone. Simply put, the best time to tell is when you feel you are ready and want to. Take your time and consider the specifics of your situation.