- The lighting of the unity candles is conducted at the beginning of the wedding ceremony. According to Daphne Rose Kingma, author of "Weddings From the Heart: Contemporary and Traditional Ceremonies for an Unforgettable Wedding," "Both bride and groom enter, each carrying a lighted white candle. As you step up to the altar, where a single unlit candle is waiting, you use the flames of your individual candles to ignite the single large candle. The gesture symbolizes the extinguishing of individual life and the beginning of a life of union."
- The ceremony of the lighting of the unity candles itself can be as unique as the couple marrying. For example: Variations include lighting multiple candles for symbolic reasons.
Kingma suggests, "If you prefer a different symbolism, you may light the single large candle together, then set your individual candles, still burning, on either side of it. In this case you are symbolizing that even in marriage you retain your individuality while at the same time offering your energy to the creation of a larger union." - In this take on the candle lighting, a representative from each family, either the mothers or fathers of the bride and groom, light two smaller candles next to the larger unity candle. When the bride and groom enter, they each light a match on the lit candles and light the unity candle together.
In some ceremonies, two candles will be lit on each side of the unity candle, allowing both the mother and father of the bride and groom to each light a candle. - The unity candle represents the joined couple as one, coming together in marriage. When separate candles are involved, they may represent other aspects of the family joining, or the continued individuality of the bride and groom, even as a joined couple.
- While it is typically assumed that there is a longstanding tradition behind unity candles, it's history is unclear. The use of unity candles in the wedding ceremony likely surfaced in the early to mid 1900s.
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