Apparently when it comes to Rolls-Royce, one doesn't buy certified pre-owned. That would be too plebian. Instead, one buys Provenance Pre-owned Rolls-Royces. Anything less would be undignified.
As the luxury automaker pointed out in an announcement, "Rolls-Royce Motor Cars has launched a new resource called Provenance Pre-owned Stock Locator. The move takes effortlessness online, allowing would-be Rolls-Royce clients to search for exclusive Provenance cars quickly and easily using an iPad, computer or smart phone."
Just like certified pre-owned for the other 99% (maybe it should be other 99.9%), there are guidelines for what makes a certified pre-owned Rolls-Royce. Oops, make that Provenance pre-owned Rolls-Royce.
According to the manufacturer, "Only the finest examples of pre-owned Rolls-Royce models make the Provenance grade. Peace of mind comes as standard with a fully-transferable 24-month warranty and all cars are supplied through the Rolls-Royce global dealer network."
By the way, are you curious, like I was, what provenance means? OK, maybe you're smarter than I am and already knew, but I was surprised to find this definition at the Merriam Webster dictionary website: "the history of ownership of a valued object or work of art or literature." That's probably the best use of a five-dollar word in the history of used car marketing I've ever seen.
OK, enough etymology from me. Let's get back to buying you a used Rolls-Royce.
The Provenance pre-owned stock locator is available from the home page of www.rolls-roycemotorcars.com and can also be found on local dealer websites.
Click on the tab in the center of the page that says "pre-owned." Apparently Provenance pre-owned would not fit.
Benefits include easy-to-navigate search filters, as well as features that allow prospects to make direct car-by-car comparisons, according to Rolls-Royce.
So, of course I went online and checked out the page myself. After all, that is my duty as your guide to used cars, even really expensive used cars like these.
In the United States, as this article is being written in August 2012, there are exactly three Provenance pre-owned Rolls-Royce models in the entire United States. One is a Phantom in Houston, Texas; the second a Phantom Coupé in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., and third a Phantom Drophead Coupé in Saint Louis, Mo. All have between 3,000 to 4488 miles.
Doesn't that make you wonder? Who buys a Rolls-Royce and trades it in after just 3000 miles? Do Rolls-Royce owners get buyer's remorse just like Yugo owners used to get?
OK, the 2006 Phantom is going to set you back $198,900. The 2009 Phantom Drophead Coupé will run you $369,900 and the 2010 Phantom Coupé is $329,000. All models are left-hand drive.
Notice something unusual in that list of Provenance pre-owned Rolls-Royce models? One is six years old. Most certified pre-owned used cars are five years old or newer. Then again, a luxury automaker likes Rolls-Royce usually keeps track of each of its cars individually and knows exactly what kind of shape it's in.
Also, this particular six-year old used Rolls-Royce Phantom has 4,488 miles on the odometer. In six years, it has been driven less than 800 miles a year or less than 16 miles a week. Apparently when you have that much money you don't get out much.
Rolls-Royce says, "A client can choose to search for cars within a specific country, then filter down into model, age, mileage, budget or color. Using its 'My Provenance' feature they can also sign-up for alerts and be notified via email and SMS when search criteria have been met. They may simply browse all available vehicles, or those that are 'coming soon' to the program.
Not surprisingly, the website is extremely easy to use. I was able to quickly find information on all three models and there lots of photographs to look at. (I almost said pictures but I'm really trying to up my vocabulary for this piece.)
"Rolls-Royce clients are busy people who rightly demand uncompromising quality and excellence as standard," said CEO Torsten Müller-Ötvös in the announcement. "And, whether they seek a new or pre-owned Rolls-Royce, they also expect every aspect of the buying experience to be effortless. With the Provenance program, complemented by our new pre-owned stock locator, we can offer examples of the finest pre-owned Rolls-Royce motor cars and present them effortlessly to potential clients."
Provenance cars include two years' warranty and two years' complimentary servicing - at an authorized dealer anywhere in the world, should the owner relocate. The program also includes independently checked vehicle history and mileage verification, pre-delivery inspection and comprehensive preparation for the client.
OK, so you might want to compare the Provenance pre-owned to the BMW certified pre-owned or Mercedes-Benz pre-owned if this all too rich for your blood. You might be able to find some good bargains there in the $100,000 range. I'm off to buy some Powerball tickets.