Wedding invitations are a time-honored tradition of announcing your upcoming nuptials.
But like so many time-honored traditions, there are rules, and etiquette to follow.
This article will help you answer some of those really critical questions around wedding invitations.
Q.
Is it ever acceptable to send out handwritten wedding invitations? A.
Although handwritten invitations were the custom centuries ago, they are only appropriate today for very, very small weddings.
Remember that this is one of the few times in your life when you will have the privilege of creating a beautifully printed invitation.
Q.
How will I know when I'm ready to actually order my invitations? A.
If you've determined the specifics of where and when, discussed budget issues with both families and developed a guest list with input from both families, you are ready to begin! Q.
How do I determine the total number of invitations I should order? A.
First, you'll need an estimated number of guests from both families.
Encourage them to provide you with full names and addresses, too, to save research time later.
Don't forget that wedding party members and both sets of parents should receive their own invitations, and always order extra envelopes in case of errors in addressing.
You'll need extras of the complete invitation, too, for you and your mothers to treasure as keepsakes.
Q.
Once we have a total number of invitations, how should they be divided between our two families? A.
The invitations are usually divided equally between the two families, but in situations where one family is significantly larger or most relatives live too far away to travel, equal division is not necessary.
Q.
Who pays for the wedding invitations? A.
It is customary for the bride's family to cover the cost of the invitations, but if the groom and his family plan to send more than half the total number of invitations, they may contribute to the cost.
Q.
My guest list won't accommodate all of my co-workers.
What can I do? A.
Above all, be discreet.
Rather than inviting just a few and risking hurt feelings, limit the wedding to family and close friends and host an open house in your new home later to introduce your co-workers to your new husband.
Beware of posting an invitation on the company bulletin board, which suggests an open invitation for anyone who reads it, unless that is your intention.
Q.
I have heard of couples that make a "B List" of potential guests.
Is that tacky? A.
Designating a separate list of invitees is acceptable, as long as their invitations do not arrive less than four weeks before the ceremony.
No one likes to be second choice.
But if you have an extensive guest list and several people decline right away, then move ahead to Plan B.
Q.
Is it necessary to invite the spouse of every guest? A.
Yes, the spouses of your friends and family members should always be included on the invitations, whether you know them well or not.
Q.
Is it ever acceptable to include "and guest" on a wedding invitation? A.
It is always best to research the name of the guest so that he or she can be extended a separate invitation.
On a less formal invitation, however, the inner envelope can be addressed "Ms.
Williams and guest.
" If it reads simply "Ms.
Williams," your guest should know she is not expected to bring an escort.
If this is the case and a guest pursues the issue, simply say that your wedding budget did not allow for extra people.
Q.
Is it necessary to invite everyone to both the ceremony and reception? A.
Yes, all guests should be included at both events unless you plan a very intimate ceremony with just immediate family.
If that's the case, you should send separate reception invitations to other family members and friends.
Q.
We have decided not to include children at our wedding.
What should Ido if someone adds a child's name to the response card and it is obvious that they plan to bring them along? A.
If one of your guest feels compelled to add their child's name to the response card even though the child's name did not appear on the invitation envelope, close friend or relative explain the situation as tactfully as possible.
Your reason for excluding children can be as simple as a limited budget.
Q.
We are both marrying for the second time.
Is it still acceptable to send out formal wedding invitations? A.
Yes, your second (or even third) wedding can be heralded in formal fashion, with a beautiful invitation.
Every union deserves its own special announcement.
I hope that we cleared up some questions regarding wedding invitations.
Regardless of size, budget (or frequency!) of a wedding, each special day deserves a special wedding invitation.
But like so many time-honored traditions, there are rules, and etiquette to follow.
This article will help you answer some of those really critical questions around wedding invitations.
Q.
Is it ever acceptable to send out handwritten wedding invitations? A.
Although handwritten invitations were the custom centuries ago, they are only appropriate today for very, very small weddings.
Remember that this is one of the few times in your life when you will have the privilege of creating a beautifully printed invitation.
Q.
How will I know when I'm ready to actually order my invitations? A.
If you've determined the specifics of where and when, discussed budget issues with both families and developed a guest list with input from both families, you are ready to begin! Q.
How do I determine the total number of invitations I should order? A.
First, you'll need an estimated number of guests from both families.
Encourage them to provide you with full names and addresses, too, to save research time later.
Don't forget that wedding party members and both sets of parents should receive their own invitations, and always order extra envelopes in case of errors in addressing.
You'll need extras of the complete invitation, too, for you and your mothers to treasure as keepsakes.
Q.
Once we have a total number of invitations, how should they be divided between our two families? A.
The invitations are usually divided equally between the two families, but in situations where one family is significantly larger or most relatives live too far away to travel, equal division is not necessary.
Q.
Who pays for the wedding invitations? A.
It is customary for the bride's family to cover the cost of the invitations, but if the groom and his family plan to send more than half the total number of invitations, they may contribute to the cost.
Q.
My guest list won't accommodate all of my co-workers.
What can I do? A.
Above all, be discreet.
Rather than inviting just a few and risking hurt feelings, limit the wedding to family and close friends and host an open house in your new home later to introduce your co-workers to your new husband.
Beware of posting an invitation on the company bulletin board, which suggests an open invitation for anyone who reads it, unless that is your intention.
Q.
I have heard of couples that make a "B List" of potential guests.
Is that tacky? A.
Designating a separate list of invitees is acceptable, as long as their invitations do not arrive less than four weeks before the ceremony.
No one likes to be second choice.
But if you have an extensive guest list and several people decline right away, then move ahead to Plan B.
Q.
Is it necessary to invite the spouse of every guest? A.
Yes, the spouses of your friends and family members should always be included on the invitations, whether you know them well or not.
Q.
Is it ever acceptable to include "and guest" on a wedding invitation? A.
It is always best to research the name of the guest so that he or she can be extended a separate invitation.
On a less formal invitation, however, the inner envelope can be addressed "Ms.
Williams and guest.
" If it reads simply "Ms.
Williams," your guest should know she is not expected to bring an escort.
If this is the case and a guest pursues the issue, simply say that your wedding budget did not allow for extra people.
Q.
Is it necessary to invite everyone to both the ceremony and reception? A.
Yes, all guests should be included at both events unless you plan a very intimate ceremony with just immediate family.
If that's the case, you should send separate reception invitations to other family members and friends.
Q.
We have decided not to include children at our wedding.
What should Ido if someone adds a child's name to the response card and it is obvious that they plan to bring them along? A.
If one of your guest feels compelled to add their child's name to the response card even though the child's name did not appear on the invitation envelope, close friend or relative explain the situation as tactfully as possible.
Your reason for excluding children can be as simple as a limited budget.
Q.
We are both marrying for the second time.
Is it still acceptable to send out formal wedding invitations? A.
Yes, your second (or even third) wedding can be heralded in formal fashion, with a beautiful invitation.
Every union deserves its own special announcement.
I hope that we cleared up some questions regarding wedding invitations.
Regardless of size, budget (or frequency!) of a wedding, each special day deserves a special wedding invitation.