One of the main reasons folks are attracted to the martial arts is the implied or stated benefit of becoming stronger, more confident, and tougher.
In many dojos, without question, you'll achieve these goals.
When you step onto the mat you'll spar with fewer fears and butterflies, be able to withstand kicks and strikes, and authoritatively pay them back in kind.
But when you put on your street gear, and especially those business or work outfits, do you shrink from being a king of the mat to a doormat? Are you just as likely as you ever were to defer to others more than you'd care to, more than they deserve? Do you go way, way out of your way to squelch conflict, thus becoming unnecessarily passive, an indirect communicator, and an inadvertent abettor of bullies? Dojos should, as part of their curricula, give their members "homework," just as traditional schools do.
But in this case the homework is more like a "lab" assignment, where your laboratory is the outside world.
Every week, dojo members should be held to account for their "application assignments.
" "How did you apply the concept of parrying-a-blow to your everyday life?" "I learned I don't have to respond to everything someone says.
If I dislike what I hear, I can just let it go, and not add fuel to the fire.
" "Which situation did you apply that wisdom to?" You can see how valuable this can be, especially when it becomes a regular part of one's regimen.