The following article contains ideas on how to conquer your fear of stepping back into the dating world after becoming single or perhaps you've been single for awhile. The following thoughts in the article will help ease your anxiety.
Are you recently single after having been in a relationship or married for many years. Have you been alone for years and don't fancy seeing out your days alone? Whether you're 22 or 62 or even 82, the fear of stepping out into the dating world can be daunting and frightening, however there are ways to overcome your trepidation.
The sheer terror that strikes at the heart when you think about asking someone for a date can be stressful, cause anxiety and be frightening enough for you to consider giving the game away. Meeting a total stranger and going out for coffee or lunch and all the while you are nervous, you feel like a fish out of water, and you wonder what this person is thinking about you.
They Are Probably Nervous Too
Keep in mind that your date is very likely going to be just as nervous as you, especially if this is new to them also. If your date has been out there for a while, then chances are they will understand your apprehension, because they have been here before. Your date had to start somewhere. These days with online dating being so popular, if you are computer literate and can navigate the world wide web, then there is a chance to get to know your prospective date via email or Skype before meeting face to face. And it goes without saying; always arrange the first meeting to be in a public place in daylight if possible and have you own transport to get home, whether it be your own car or taxi or have someone pick you up. Never accept a lift with someone you have just met.
No matter how anxious you feel, do not give in to the anxiety of calling your date to cancel. Unless you really feel uneasy about this person, and fear they may be dangerous in come way. In this case though, you need to be sure, and be certain it is not anxiety talking. Going through with the date is important for so many reasons. It's unfair to the other person who has put aside time to meet you, and you are cheating yourself of the opportunity to create a rapport and a possible friendship with someone new, not to mention the boost to your self-esteem. Follow the next three rules; and your date should be a success.
Rule 1: Always Be Yourself and Be Honest
When you are with someone new, always, always be yourself and always be as honest as you can. Having said that however; it is important not to be too open and honest. Only reveal a certain amount of information, don't give your date your life story, and if your date asks you opinion on something, be very careful here; if you are brutally honest with this person, it may offend them. Try not to talk too much about yourself and let your date talk, you'd be surprised how attractive a good listener is and in saying that, don't let your date run the conversation, make sure you contribute too. If there are awkward silences, don't jump in and try to fill the gap. Just give yourself and your date these silences to collect their thoughts.
Rule 2: Make Notes On Topics To Talk About
Write down some topics of conversation and study them before you leave for your date. Doing this may help to fill in the awkward silences in conversation if they go on too long and it seems like neither of you can think of what to talk about due to nerves. Just the act of writing these thoughts down is all that is needed to remember them. This mental list in your brain will help you when the anxiety starts to rise.
Rule 3: Dress In Clothes You Feel Comfortable Wearing
If you are dressed neatly, and in comfortable clothing and shoes, you will not only look nice, but you will feel good too. Clothes that you know suit you and are comfortable will help to put your anxiety at ease. Never show up for a date in your baggy, tracksuit pant or thongs and you would be surprised how many dates have turned up wearing exactly that. So it needs to be said, try to create a good impression by looking nice and being well groomed.
Always be polite and respectful. If your date does not want wine with his or her dinner, don't push the issue. Try not to interrupt when they are talking. Offer to walk your date to their car or the taxi-rank. You get the picture; all in all just be polite. You would be surprised at the number of people who go on a date only to find that their date is rude and disrespectful to others. If your date is rude to you or other, then you should leave.
Dating for the first time after a breakup or even just deciding to enter the dating world can be frightening; however it does not have to be.
Read more dating and relationship articles at the links below:
[http://beyondjane.com/relationships/dating/dating-advice-how-to-avoid-unhealthy-people/]
http://beyondjane.com/family/marriage/is-your-marriage-on-the-rocks/
For more information and articles by Janelle Coulton, please visit: http://janellecoulton.blogspot.com.au
Copyright 2012 - Janelle Coulton
Are you recently single after having been in a relationship or married for many years. Have you been alone for years and don't fancy seeing out your days alone? Whether you're 22 or 62 or even 82, the fear of stepping out into the dating world can be daunting and frightening, however there are ways to overcome your trepidation.
The sheer terror that strikes at the heart when you think about asking someone for a date can be stressful, cause anxiety and be frightening enough for you to consider giving the game away. Meeting a total stranger and going out for coffee or lunch and all the while you are nervous, you feel like a fish out of water, and you wonder what this person is thinking about you.
They Are Probably Nervous Too
Keep in mind that your date is very likely going to be just as nervous as you, especially if this is new to them also. If your date has been out there for a while, then chances are they will understand your apprehension, because they have been here before. Your date had to start somewhere. These days with online dating being so popular, if you are computer literate and can navigate the world wide web, then there is a chance to get to know your prospective date via email or Skype before meeting face to face. And it goes without saying; always arrange the first meeting to be in a public place in daylight if possible and have you own transport to get home, whether it be your own car or taxi or have someone pick you up. Never accept a lift with someone you have just met.
No matter how anxious you feel, do not give in to the anxiety of calling your date to cancel. Unless you really feel uneasy about this person, and fear they may be dangerous in come way. In this case though, you need to be sure, and be certain it is not anxiety talking. Going through with the date is important for so many reasons. It's unfair to the other person who has put aside time to meet you, and you are cheating yourself of the opportunity to create a rapport and a possible friendship with someone new, not to mention the boost to your self-esteem. Follow the next three rules; and your date should be a success.
Rule 1: Always Be Yourself and Be Honest
When you are with someone new, always, always be yourself and always be as honest as you can. Having said that however; it is important not to be too open and honest. Only reveal a certain amount of information, don't give your date your life story, and if your date asks you opinion on something, be very careful here; if you are brutally honest with this person, it may offend them. Try not to talk too much about yourself and let your date talk, you'd be surprised how attractive a good listener is and in saying that, don't let your date run the conversation, make sure you contribute too. If there are awkward silences, don't jump in and try to fill the gap. Just give yourself and your date these silences to collect their thoughts.
Rule 2: Make Notes On Topics To Talk About
Write down some topics of conversation and study them before you leave for your date. Doing this may help to fill in the awkward silences in conversation if they go on too long and it seems like neither of you can think of what to talk about due to nerves. Just the act of writing these thoughts down is all that is needed to remember them. This mental list in your brain will help you when the anxiety starts to rise.
Rule 3: Dress In Clothes You Feel Comfortable Wearing
If you are dressed neatly, and in comfortable clothing and shoes, you will not only look nice, but you will feel good too. Clothes that you know suit you and are comfortable will help to put your anxiety at ease. Never show up for a date in your baggy, tracksuit pant or thongs and you would be surprised how many dates have turned up wearing exactly that. So it needs to be said, try to create a good impression by looking nice and being well groomed.
Always be polite and respectful. If your date does not want wine with his or her dinner, don't push the issue. Try not to interrupt when they are talking. Offer to walk your date to their car or the taxi-rank. You get the picture; all in all just be polite. You would be surprised at the number of people who go on a date only to find that their date is rude and disrespectful to others. If your date is rude to you or other, then you should leave.
Dating for the first time after a breakup or even just deciding to enter the dating world can be frightening; however it does not have to be.
Read more dating and relationship articles at the links below:
[http://beyondjane.com/relationships/dating/dating-advice-how-to-avoid-unhealthy-people/]
http://beyondjane.com/family/marriage/is-your-marriage-on-the-rocks/
For more information and articles by Janelle Coulton, please visit: http://janellecoulton.blogspot.com.au
Copyright 2012 - Janelle Coulton