I know sexual rejection hurts.
The first time I was turned down for sex, I thought I would die.
I was so hurt.
I felt so embarrassed.
I felt so rejected.
I've come to know it's not a rejection of me.
It's not ever about me.
What it's usually about is that he's had a rough day at work and wants to unwind first, or he's just too tired or just has too much on his mind.
Or he's not feeling well.
Men are not as raring to go all the time as we've been led to believe, especially as they get older.
Most women when faced with a situation such as this panic and climb aboard a runaway train inside their little brains and allow this train to take them at break neck speed all over the place.
For example - "He's rejected me.
He doesn't want me.
He no longer finds me attractive.
He's tiring of me.
He wants to look at porn instead of me.
He wants anyone but me.
Even if it's two-dimensional image, at least it's something new.
I'm not pretty enough.
I'm not sexy enough.
I'm too fat.
I'm too skinny.
My boobs are too small.
My boobs are too saggy.
I'm too old.
I'm --(you fill in the blank).
Sex is not so important to him.
We'll never have sex again!" All these thoughts are nonsense.
Remember the lying little gremlin voices? They're screaming at you right now.
Shut them up.
Scream back at them.
Turn your back on them.
Put your hand over their mouths.
Stick them in a corner and ignore them.
Do whatever it takes to soothe yourself.
Shower yourself with whatever feels the best to you.
And leave your man be.
He will come to you eventually.
And in the meantime, not that your waiting for him, go make yourself smile in whatever way you can.
I know it's hard when you're all tied up in knots.
But you can do this.
You can.
He will come around sooner or later, and likely it will be sooner as long as you can keep your focus off of him.
You might try this as an exercise to help you feel better: Imagine you turning your man on, turning him on much so that he finds you irresistible and can't keep his hands off of you.
Imagine every little detail, every little nuance.
Really, really feel this image with your every sense.
Take this further.
Imagine hundreds of men being turned on by you.
Imagine yourself as the most glorious, gorgeous goddess which you really are.
You are a sexual, sensuous, beautiful woman no matter how old you are or what you look like.
If you believe this, then it's true, for it's not about what you look like but the energy you exude.
Turn this energy inward into yourself.
How does it feel turning yourself on too, in your imagination and in reality? Your man will will feel the shift in your energy.
If he sees you loving yourself, being good to yourself, enjoying yourself and your beautiful life without him (though the invitation to join you is always there) it may very well spark something up in him.
If this man doesn't come to you, another will, for you are immersed in joy and love.
This is what you have created within you.
And this leaves the door (or your energy) wide open for others to come into this lovely energy field that you made.
And this could very well be a different man, the true love of your life.
If the real deal is already there with you, and he's just having a grumpy day or week or month, this love for yourself will likely pull him out of his mood all the more quickly, make him smile all the wider, and love you even more deeply.
Loving and appreciating yourself above all else is enormously sexy and attractive.
If your man doesn't want to play, then someone else will.
If his out of the norm behavior continues though, you can approach him about it, speak to him.
Tell him you miss him, you miss feeling close to him, you miss his body holding yours, you miss him inside you.
Ask him if there is anything he wants to say or tell you.
This will likely open things up for him if he's feeling blocked and/or something is indeed bothering him.
And whatever he says, please believe him.
Even though women have the reputation for being ruled by their feelings, eg.
sex drive disappears when something is on their mind, or it's harder to warm up and/or orgasm, men are far more affected by their situations apart from the relationship than you might think.
When a man's desire wanes, remember it's more often than not due to outside circumstances.
If nothing else registers from this article, please let it be this: When our men turn us down for sex, It's ever so rarely if ever about us.
xxoo tinque
The first time I was turned down for sex, I thought I would die.
I was so hurt.
I felt so embarrassed.
I felt so rejected.
I've come to know it's not a rejection of me.
It's not ever about me.
What it's usually about is that he's had a rough day at work and wants to unwind first, or he's just too tired or just has too much on his mind.
Or he's not feeling well.
Men are not as raring to go all the time as we've been led to believe, especially as they get older.
Most women when faced with a situation such as this panic and climb aboard a runaway train inside their little brains and allow this train to take them at break neck speed all over the place.
For example - "He's rejected me.
He doesn't want me.
He no longer finds me attractive.
He's tiring of me.
He wants to look at porn instead of me.
He wants anyone but me.
Even if it's two-dimensional image, at least it's something new.
I'm not pretty enough.
I'm not sexy enough.
I'm too fat.
I'm too skinny.
My boobs are too small.
My boobs are too saggy.
I'm too old.
I'm --(you fill in the blank).
Sex is not so important to him.
We'll never have sex again!" All these thoughts are nonsense.
Remember the lying little gremlin voices? They're screaming at you right now.
Shut them up.
Scream back at them.
Turn your back on them.
Put your hand over their mouths.
Stick them in a corner and ignore them.
Do whatever it takes to soothe yourself.
Shower yourself with whatever feels the best to you.
And leave your man be.
He will come to you eventually.
And in the meantime, not that your waiting for him, go make yourself smile in whatever way you can.
I know it's hard when you're all tied up in knots.
But you can do this.
You can.
He will come around sooner or later, and likely it will be sooner as long as you can keep your focus off of him.
You might try this as an exercise to help you feel better: Imagine you turning your man on, turning him on much so that he finds you irresistible and can't keep his hands off of you.
Imagine every little detail, every little nuance.
Really, really feel this image with your every sense.
Take this further.
Imagine hundreds of men being turned on by you.
Imagine yourself as the most glorious, gorgeous goddess which you really are.
You are a sexual, sensuous, beautiful woman no matter how old you are or what you look like.
If you believe this, then it's true, for it's not about what you look like but the energy you exude.
Turn this energy inward into yourself.
How does it feel turning yourself on too, in your imagination and in reality? Your man will will feel the shift in your energy.
If he sees you loving yourself, being good to yourself, enjoying yourself and your beautiful life without him (though the invitation to join you is always there) it may very well spark something up in him.
If this man doesn't come to you, another will, for you are immersed in joy and love.
This is what you have created within you.
And this leaves the door (or your energy) wide open for others to come into this lovely energy field that you made.
And this could very well be a different man, the true love of your life.
If the real deal is already there with you, and he's just having a grumpy day or week or month, this love for yourself will likely pull him out of his mood all the more quickly, make him smile all the wider, and love you even more deeply.
Loving and appreciating yourself above all else is enormously sexy and attractive.
If your man doesn't want to play, then someone else will.
If his out of the norm behavior continues though, you can approach him about it, speak to him.
Tell him you miss him, you miss feeling close to him, you miss his body holding yours, you miss him inside you.
Ask him if there is anything he wants to say or tell you.
This will likely open things up for him if he's feeling blocked and/or something is indeed bothering him.
And whatever he says, please believe him.
Even though women have the reputation for being ruled by their feelings, eg.
sex drive disappears when something is on their mind, or it's harder to warm up and/or orgasm, men are far more affected by their situations apart from the relationship than you might think.
When a man's desire wanes, remember it's more often than not due to outside circumstances.
If nothing else registers from this article, please let it be this: When our men turn us down for sex, It's ever so rarely if ever about us.
xxoo tinque