One of the biggest mistakes that can cause a strain on friendship is being an "Opposite Person" among your friends.
In this article we look at what an Opposite Person is, how to determine if you are one, how to change it, and the exceptions when disagreeing with another person.
What exactly is an "Opposite Person" type? The Opposite Person is the type of person who will find a way to disagree with nearly everything that is being said.
If you tell the person that running a business is a good idea, he'll disagree with you and talk about why it's so great to be in salary job.
And if you talk about how great it is to have a salary, the same person will talk about how great it is to be self employed.
They find loops and holes in what's being discussed and generally take an opposite perspective.
Why is this Detrimental to Friendships? When people are constantly disagreeing with other's views this can perceived as obnoxious, and cause friendships to be strained.
It's annoying because your friends have a need to feel understood, validated and accepted for who they are or else they'll feel less connected to you over time.
And studies have shown that people who disagree more often bring down the moods of groups of people.
As an Opposite Person your friends will want to see you less and less, if they choose to be friends with you at all.
Imagine a boss that's always shooting down your ideas to improve work, how motivated would you be to stay in that organization? Always disagreeing with your friends will not make them feel supported or listened to.
It makes people feel like they're surrounded by a know it all.
And know it alls are irritating because on a down deep rooted level they truly believe they are better than other people.
And when you don't believe that one person's value is just as equally as valid as yours, then you're displaying arrogance.
How Do You Recognize if You're an Opposite Person? If you fit say yes to one or more of the questions below then you might be an "Opposite Person.
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• You constantly look for ways (unconsciously or consciously) to disagree with what people are saying.
  
• You feel superior to others by trying to always be the person who is right.
  
• You never find yourself being supportive of ideas that anybody suggests.
  
• You find yourself counteracting intellectual discussions regarding science, arts, news, business or politics
• You work in a profession that requires you to always defend or debate about your position to show strength.
  
• You make your points in a negative tone as opposed to a tone that suggests you're sharing.
  

How I Broke My Own Pattern of being an Opposite Person I used to believe that I was a supportive and agreeable person, and most of my friends would say so (because they care about my feelings) but the truth is that I started to notice that when my brother said something, I would always constantly look for the hole in his argument.
Or when I first started dating my girlfriend I was always disagreeing with her about her perspective (And she was too so there was a lot of early miscommunications).
I noticed I disagreed a lot, and when I looked at my history, I was doing it on auto pilot.
When I became aware, I was shocked at myself and even started feeling guilty for not being more supportive.
And the worst part, I found out that I was doing it with the people who were closest to me.
Awareness was the biggest key to getting out of those old patterns.
I had to look back at my own conversations and ask myself, "Was I supportive of what my friends were saying, or did I disagree with them when I really didn't need to?" And it's best to ask yourself what type of conversation you find you are having with your friends.
Before many conversations, even now, I ask myself, "Am I about to disagree with this person? And if so why?" If I couldn't find a good reason to disagree, or if I didn't believe it truly added value to the person's life then I listened and acted supportive.
You have to take that extra half of a second to slow down and think about how you will respond.
And then I made it a point to be agreeable to others to show my support to them.
And if I was to disagree with someone, I made the best effort to ensure that it was done in a friendly tone that indicated sharing and not my own ego boosting, and explain why I saw it differently.
Even though being an "Opposite Person" does bug your friends, they care too much about you to tell you to your face.
It's up to you to make that change before those friendships are destroyed.
What are the Cases where it's Okay to Disagree? Disagree with your friends if you truly believe that they are making a major mistake in their life.
I believe that it's important to keep friendships honest even if it stings.
Disagree only if you believe you are trying to add value to another person, and that both of you are sharing as opposed to ego battling.