How to Transition From a Friend to a Girlfriend

By Family & Relationships Last updated Monday, April/15/2024

Question Your Motives

The first step in transitioning from a friend to a girlfriend should be to determine the real motivation behind your change of heart. Until now, you may never have considered your friend to be your type or may have not felt the right chemistry. Something must have happened between the formation of your friendship and the development of your new feelings. Ask yourself why you've never dated before and what you now see in him that you never saw before. If dating was previously blocked by one of life's obstacles that has since disappeared, or even if you've only recently realized how special your guy friend has become to you, it may be a good time to push the boundaries of your relationship.

After determining that your feelings are genuine and not a passing infatuation, it is important to take a close look at your regular interactions with your guy friend to see if your feelings may be mutual. One pivotal question to ask is whether or not you feel your relationship is getting stronger. For example, If you are the first person he turns to with his problems, if he gives you lots of compliments and if you find yourselves starving to spend more time with each other, you may be on track to a romantic relationship.

If you've been receiving subtle hints from your friend or just can't shake the idea that there is a spark between you, start sending some subtle hints of your own. These hints largely revolve around touch; taking his hand or offering to rub his shoulders if he complains of tension. Avoid any "just friends" talk you may have shared previously such as comments about your attraction to other men, or other men you've dated in the past. It's time to start treating him like a guy you are interested in. If he responds in an encouraging way it may be time to take your relationship to the next phase.

By the time you reach this point you should feel very confident that he is as interested in you as you are in him. You would both drop everything to be with one another and take every opportunity to be affectionate. Now is the time to let him know how you feel and for him to reciprocate or let you know that he's just not interested. After you've both confirmed that you want to give a relationship a try, slowly test your comfort zones until being together in this way feels more natural.