A poem by Karl and Joanna Fuchs titled 'The Perfect Father' had a line in it that prompted me to look into the art of listening to kids a bit more.
It is far too easy as a parent to get into auto pilot mode with the usual responses of "I See.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
Hmmm", and end up not really listening.
The word 'listen' is actually a verb and therefore speaks of action.
We should not just hear but we should hear with intention.
We should not just hear but we should also pay attention.
We have come a long way in the past 100 odd years in terms of the level of 'noise' that is around us.
With radio and TV and now streaming media on the internet, our lives are saturated with 'noise'.
If we've not got the mobile phone glued to our ear, we've probably got on headphones or we are sitting in front of the TV watching a popular soap or seeking out in Google tid-bits of celebrity gossip.
We may not realize this but our lives become so full of distractions that we begin to convince ourselves that we do not have time for the things that really matter in our lives.
The problem is that with so much 'noise' in our lives, the sounds that matter gets swallowed up in the background noise.
One of the things that I really enjoy doing when I go out for my walks in the mornings is to try to distinguish the various sounds of nature.
Sometimes if the walking path is close to a busy road, I would have to filter the noise of vehicles on the road from the other sounds by focusing on the sounds that I do want to listen to.
The point therefore is not to get rid of the distractions because sometimes this is just not possible, but rather in the midst of all the distractions in life, we focus our attentions on the things that matter.
This is actually an easy thing to do when we realize that the things that matter most in our lives are those that brings us most pleasure.
The noise of vehicles on the road has never filled me with a sense of pleasure but the sounds of the woodpecker as it pecks away at a tree, the sweet song of the nightingale and the cooing of the pigeon has never failed to thrill.
Even though there is more to being a good father than just listening, I believe listening is one of the key attributes.
The more consistently we listen to our kids, the more prepared we will be to face up to the challenges that growing up will invariably bring.
The old proverb, 'forewarned is forearmed' comes to mind as we cultivate our listening.
We will be able to see the danger signals well before it is too late and take appropriate action.
It is far too easy as a parent to get into auto pilot mode with the usual responses of "I See.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
Hmmm", and end up not really listening.
The word 'listen' is actually a verb and therefore speaks of action.
We should not just hear but we should hear with intention.
We should not just hear but we should also pay attention.
We have come a long way in the past 100 odd years in terms of the level of 'noise' that is around us.
With radio and TV and now streaming media on the internet, our lives are saturated with 'noise'.
If we've not got the mobile phone glued to our ear, we've probably got on headphones or we are sitting in front of the TV watching a popular soap or seeking out in Google tid-bits of celebrity gossip.
We may not realize this but our lives become so full of distractions that we begin to convince ourselves that we do not have time for the things that really matter in our lives.
The problem is that with so much 'noise' in our lives, the sounds that matter gets swallowed up in the background noise.
One of the things that I really enjoy doing when I go out for my walks in the mornings is to try to distinguish the various sounds of nature.
Sometimes if the walking path is close to a busy road, I would have to filter the noise of vehicles on the road from the other sounds by focusing on the sounds that I do want to listen to.
The point therefore is not to get rid of the distractions because sometimes this is just not possible, but rather in the midst of all the distractions in life, we focus our attentions on the things that matter.
This is actually an easy thing to do when we realize that the things that matter most in our lives are those that brings us most pleasure.
The noise of vehicles on the road has never filled me with a sense of pleasure but the sounds of the woodpecker as it pecks away at a tree, the sweet song of the nightingale and the cooing of the pigeon has never failed to thrill.
Even though there is more to being a good father than just listening, I believe listening is one of the key attributes.
The more consistently we listen to our kids, the more prepared we will be to face up to the challenges that growing up will invariably bring.
The old proverb, 'forewarned is forearmed' comes to mind as we cultivate our listening.
We will be able to see the danger signals well before it is too late and take appropriate action.