"'I'm John McCain, and I approved this message." --at the conclusion of an ad falsely accusing Barack Obama of promoting sex education for kindergarten children
"I have had a strong and a long relationship on national security, I've been involved in every national crisis that this nation has faced since Beirut, I understand the issues, I understand and appreciate the enormity of the challenge we face from radical Islamic extremism.
I am prepared. I am prepared. I need no on-the-job training. I wasn't a mayor for a short period of time. I wasn't a governor for a short period of time." --explaining at an Oct. 2007 debate why Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney are not qualified to be president
"She's a partner and a soul-mate." --on his vice presidential pick, Sarah Palin, whom he had met only once before offering her the job, "FOX News Sunday" interview, Aug. 31, 2008
"The role of the vice president is to break ties in the Senate and inquire daily into the health of the president."
"Could I just mention to you, Jay, that in a moment of seriousness I spent five and a half years in a prison cell. I didn't have a house, I didn't have a kitchen table, I didn't have a table, I didn't have a chair." --once again playing the POW card to deflect a question from Jay Leno about how many houses he owns, "Tonight Show" interview, Aug. 25, 2008
"I think -- I'll have my staff get to you. It's condominiums where -- I'll have them get to you." --after being asked how many houses he and his wife, Cindy, own, interview with Politico, Las Cruces, N.M., Aug.
20, 2008
"Ma'am, let me say that I don't disagree with anything you said." --after a woman at a town hall meeting said, "If we don't reenact the draft, I don't think we'll have anyone to chase Bin Laden to the gates of hell," Las Cruces, N.M., Aug. 20, 2008 (Watch video clip)
"I was trying to hear through the wall." --after Rev. Rick Warren asked if the "cone of silence" was comfortable during the forum he moderated at Saddleback Church. McCain was supposed to have been in a sound-proof room so that he couldn't hear Warren's questions or Obama's answers, but McCain was in fact in his motorcade on the way to the forum during Obama's part of the live broadcast. (Lake Forest, California, Aug. 17, 2008)
"I think if you're just talking about income, how about $5 million?" --after being asked by Rev. Rick Warren to define "rich," Lake Forest, California, Aug. 16, 2008
"I was looking at the Sturgis schedule, and noticed that you had a beauty pageant, so I encouraged Cindy to compete. I told her [that] with a little luck, she could be the only woman to serve as both the First Lady and Miss Buffalo Chip." --on the Miss Buffalo Chip Pageant, which features topless (and occasionally bottomless) contestants, Sturgis, South Dakota, Aug. 4, 2008 (Watch video clip)
"My friends, we have reached a crisis, the first probably serious crisis internationally since the end of the Cold War." --on Russia's invasion of Georgia, forgetting crises such as the Gulf War, 9/11, and the Iraq war, Aspen, Colorado, Aug. 14, 2008
"In the 21st century nations don't invade other nations." --on Russia's military action against Georgia, Birmingham, Mich., Aug. 13, 2008
"I'm running for president of the United States, because I want to help with family values. And I think that family values are important, when we have two parent -- families that are of parents that are the traditional family." --interview on "This Week," July 27, 2008
"The fact is we had four years of failed policy. We were losing. We were losing the war in Iraq. The consequences of failure and defeat of the United States of America in the first major conflict since 9/11 would have had devastating impacts throughout the region and the world." --forgetting the war in Afghanistan, which was launched in October 2001, CBS News interview, July 21, 2008
"We have a lot of work to do. It's a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border." --referring to a border that does not exist, ABC News interview, July 21, 2008 (Watch video clip)
"I was concerned about a couple of steps that the Russian government took in the last several days. One was reducing the energy supplies to Czechoslovakia." --referring to a country that no longer exists, Phoenix, Arizona, July 14, 2008
"I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself. I don't expect to be a great communicator, I don't expect to set up my own blog, but I am becoming computer literate to the point where I can get the information that I need." --New York Times interview, July 13, 2008
"Maybe that's a way of killing them." --responding to a report that $158 million in cigarettes have been shipped to Iran during Bush's presidency despite restrictions on U.S. exports to that country, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, July 8, 2008
"Americans have got to understand that we are paying present-day retirees with the taxes paid by young workers in America today. And that's a disgrace. It's an absolute disgrace and it's got to be fixed." --on Social Security, Denver, Colorado, July 7, 2008
"That's not too important. What's important is the casualties." --on when U.S. troops will return from Iraq, "Today," NBC, June 11, 2008
"I will veto every single beer, um, bill with earmarks." --speaking at the National Small Business Summit, Washington, D.C., June 10, 2008 (Watch video clip)
"Well, basically, it's a Google." --on how he's conducting his VP search, Richmond, Virginia, June 9, 2008
"We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies." --Kenner, Louisiana, June 3, 2008 (Watch video clip)
"Make it a hundred...That would be fine with me." -to a questioner who asked if he supported President Bush's vision for keeping U.S. troops in Iraq for 50 years
"I'm going to be honest: I know a lot less about economics than I do about military and foreign policy issues. I still need to be educated."
"The issue of economics is not something I've understood as well as I should. I've got Greenspan's book."
Next > McCain Tells More Tasteless Jokes
"I have had a strong and a long relationship on national security, I've been involved in every national crisis that this nation has faced since Beirut, I understand the issues, I understand and appreciate the enormity of the challenge we face from radical Islamic extremism.
I am prepared. I am prepared. I need no on-the-job training. I wasn't a mayor for a short period of time. I wasn't a governor for a short period of time." --explaining at an Oct. 2007 debate why Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney are not qualified to be president
"She's a partner and a soul-mate." --on his vice presidential pick, Sarah Palin, whom he had met only once before offering her the job, "FOX News Sunday" interview, Aug. 31, 2008
"The role of the vice president is to break ties in the Senate and inquire daily into the health of the president."
"Could I just mention to you, Jay, that in a moment of seriousness I spent five and a half years in a prison cell. I didn't have a house, I didn't have a kitchen table, I didn't have a table, I didn't have a chair." --once again playing the POW card to deflect a question from Jay Leno about how many houses he owns, "Tonight Show" interview, Aug. 25, 2008
"I think -- I'll have my staff get to you. It's condominiums where -- I'll have them get to you." --after being asked how many houses he and his wife, Cindy, own, interview with Politico, Las Cruces, N.M., Aug.
20, 2008
"Ma'am, let me say that I don't disagree with anything you said." --after a woman at a town hall meeting said, "If we don't reenact the draft, I don't think we'll have anyone to chase Bin Laden to the gates of hell," Las Cruces, N.M., Aug. 20, 2008 (Watch video clip)
"I was trying to hear through the wall." --after Rev. Rick Warren asked if the "cone of silence" was comfortable during the forum he moderated at Saddleback Church. McCain was supposed to have been in a sound-proof room so that he couldn't hear Warren's questions or Obama's answers, but McCain was in fact in his motorcade on the way to the forum during Obama's part of the live broadcast. (Lake Forest, California, Aug. 17, 2008)
"I think if you're just talking about income, how about $5 million?" --after being asked by Rev. Rick Warren to define "rich," Lake Forest, California, Aug. 16, 2008
"I was looking at the Sturgis schedule, and noticed that you had a beauty pageant, so I encouraged Cindy to compete. I told her [that] with a little luck, she could be the only woman to serve as both the First Lady and Miss Buffalo Chip." --on the Miss Buffalo Chip Pageant, which features topless (and occasionally bottomless) contestants, Sturgis, South Dakota, Aug. 4, 2008 (Watch video clip)
"My friends, we have reached a crisis, the first probably serious crisis internationally since the end of the Cold War." --on Russia's invasion of Georgia, forgetting crises such as the Gulf War, 9/11, and the Iraq war, Aspen, Colorado, Aug. 14, 2008
"In the 21st century nations don't invade other nations." --on Russia's military action against Georgia, Birmingham, Mich., Aug. 13, 2008
"I'm running for president of the United States, because I want to help with family values. And I think that family values are important, when we have two parent -- families that are of parents that are the traditional family." --interview on "This Week," July 27, 2008
"The fact is we had four years of failed policy. We were losing. We were losing the war in Iraq. The consequences of failure and defeat of the United States of America in the first major conflict since 9/11 would have had devastating impacts throughout the region and the world." --forgetting the war in Afghanistan, which was launched in October 2001, CBS News interview, July 21, 2008
"We have a lot of work to do. It's a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border." --referring to a border that does not exist, ABC News interview, July 21, 2008 (Watch video clip)
"I was concerned about a couple of steps that the Russian government took in the last several days. One was reducing the energy supplies to Czechoslovakia." --referring to a country that no longer exists, Phoenix, Arizona, July 14, 2008
"I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself. I don't expect to be a great communicator, I don't expect to set up my own blog, but I am becoming computer literate to the point where I can get the information that I need." --New York Times interview, July 13, 2008
"Maybe that's a way of killing them." --responding to a report that $158 million in cigarettes have been shipped to Iran during Bush's presidency despite restrictions on U.S. exports to that country, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, July 8, 2008
"Americans have got to understand that we are paying present-day retirees with the taxes paid by young workers in America today. And that's a disgrace. It's an absolute disgrace and it's got to be fixed." --on Social Security, Denver, Colorado, July 7, 2008
"That's not too important. What's important is the casualties." --on when U.S. troops will return from Iraq, "Today," NBC, June 11, 2008
"I will veto every single beer, um, bill with earmarks." --speaking at the National Small Business Summit, Washington, D.C., June 10, 2008 (Watch video clip)
"Well, basically, it's a Google." --on how he's conducting his VP search, Richmond, Virginia, June 9, 2008
"We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies." --Kenner, Louisiana, June 3, 2008 (Watch video clip)
"Make it a hundred...That would be fine with me." -to a questioner who asked if he supported President Bush's vision for keeping U.S. troops in Iraq for 50 years
"I'm going to be honest: I know a lot less about economics than I do about military and foreign policy issues. I still need to be educated."
"The issue of economics is not something I've understood as well as I should. I've got Greenspan's book."
Next > McCain Tells More Tasteless Jokes