It seems as though every other day we hear that some celebrity or news personality said something inappropriate or hurtful about another person or group of people.
In the aftermath, some of these insolent talking heads choose to hide behind drug abuse or alcoholism, or some mental defect.
Others apologize and take their medicine along with a good chastising by the media and late night talk show hosts.
But what is it that the public is really upset about, and what do they want in terms of reparation? Is it that certain people shouldn't say certain words?Is it acceptable for some to use such terms and even find humor in them?Should all ethnic-related repartee be banned?Are some people looking to find an excuse to get in the spotlight?Are others overly-sensitive?I heard one woman say she was "scarred for life" as a result of a public comment made about her and her teammates.
Do we hold media personalities in such high regard that whatever comes out of their mouths can make or break our emotional health? Let me say that as a brown-haired, Italian American who grew up with Irish kids, I've had my share of hurt feelings and intimidation.
I was called "the skinny ginny with the meatball eyes" more than once.
I was bullied and harassed, and even barred from signing up for the Girl Scouts because of the bigotry of that area's scout leader, and my accent has even caused me to be misidentified as a New Yorker (the gall!).
However, through it all I developed a thick skin and a confidence that many who live their lives too carefully or too protected don't enjoy.
I can laugh at myself as the butt of a joke as well as give the business back to the best of 'em.
I admit that yes, even in my rowdiest of moods, there are certain words I will never use, but I will joke loosely while engaged in playful banter with my ethnically diverse group of friends who respond to me in the same way.
In the end, however, my friends and I are aware and respect the line between what is teasing and funny, and what is mean-spirited and insulting.
So my question becomes, how and when do words hurt? The opinions of others, and what they believe to be true, about life, politics, the economy, and the planet often differ from mine...
so why should their opinions about me impact my life?Shouldn't we all define when something crosses the line and then determine how best to process and react to it as individuals?Personally, if someone wants me to believe them to be prejudiced (or controlling or unscrupulous), so be it.
If that's the image they choose to present, from it I will formulate my own opinion and avoid their rhetoric.
Unfortunately, however, on a larger scale, what dangerous speak can do is incite negative and unproductive behavior by those who use their energy to promote ideas against humanity, which is what most of us are trying very hard to contain and completely obliterate! I believe that yes, certain remarks about a person's appearance or ethnicity are intolerable, but I think we have to take each comment from its source.
I think that anyone who chooses to use demeaning or abusive language is a small-minded, insecure person who is clearly starving for attention and/or threatened by diversity.
And although I know that in a democracy with the right of free speech I must live among people who use offensive language, however, I do not have to allow them or it to disrupt my life.
And how do I do that?I don't give them the power to.
And that, for me, is the answer.
So if you call me names, make fun of my ideas, or worst of all, criticize my hairdo, I can take it.
The difference between us may be only my gentler spirit and my compassion for others which guide my behavior.
What I do and say is my personal choice, for we are all responsible for our words and actions and, by default, the reactions to those as well.
I believe that we each have the power to set things in motion as well as to put a stop to them.
So let's use our heads people.
Just because we have the right to say anything, doesn't mean we should.
In the aftermath, some of these insolent talking heads choose to hide behind drug abuse or alcoholism, or some mental defect.
Others apologize and take their medicine along with a good chastising by the media and late night talk show hosts.
But what is it that the public is really upset about, and what do they want in terms of reparation? Is it that certain people shouldn't say certain words?Is it acceptable for some to use such terms and even find humor in them?Should all ethnic-related repartee be banned?Are some people looking to find an excuse to get in the spotlight?Are others overly-sensitive?I heard one woman say she was "scarred for life" as a result of a public comment made about her and her teammates.
Do we hold media personalities in such high regard that whatever comes out of their mouths can make or break our emotional health? Let me say that as a brown-haired, Italian American who grew up with Irish kids, I've had my share of hurt feelings and intimidation.
I was called "the skinny ginny with the meatball eyes" more than once.
I was bullied and harassed, and even barred from signing up for the Girl Scouts because of the bigotry of that area's scout leader, and my accent has even caused me to be misidentified as a New Yorker (the gall!).
However, through it all I developed a thick skin and a confidence that many who live their lives too carefully or too protected don't enjoy.
I can laugh at myself as the butt of a joke as well as give the business back to the best of 'em.
I admit that yes, even in my rowdiest of moods, there are certain words I will never use, but I will joke loosely while engaged in playful banter with my ethnically diverse group of friends who respond to me in the same way.
In the end, however, my friends and I are aware and respect the line between what is teasing and funny, and what is mean-spirited and insulting.
So my question becomes, how and when do words hurt? The opinions of others, and what they believe to be true, about life, politics, the economy, and the planet often differ from mine...
so why should their opinions about me impact my life?Shouldn't we all define when something crosses the line and then determine how best to process and react to it as individuals?Personally, if someone wants me to believe them to be prejudiced (or controlling or unscrupulous), so be it.
If that's the image they choose to present, from it I will formulate my own opinion and avoid their rhetoric.
Unfortunately, however, on a larger scale, what dangerous speak can do is incite negative and unproductive behavior by those who use their energy to promote ideas against humanity, which is what most of us are trying very hard to contain and completely obliterate! I believe that yes, certain remarks about a person's appearance or ethnicity are intolerable, but I think we have to take each comment from its source.
I think that anyone who chooses to use demeaning or abusive language is a small-minded, insecure person who is clearly starving for attention and/or threatened by diversity.
And although I know that in a democracy with the right of free speech I must live among people who use offensive language, however, I do not have to allow them or it to disrupt my life.
And how do I do that?I don't give them the power to.
And that, for me, is the answer.
So if you call me names, make fun of my ideas, or worst of all, criticize my hairdo, I can take it.
The difference between us may be only my gentler spirit and my compassion for others which guide my behavior.
What I do and say is my personal choice, for we are all responsible for our words and actions and, by default, the reactions to those as well.
I believe that we each have the power to set things in motion as well as to put a stop to them.
So let's use our heads people.
Just because we have the right to say anything, doesn't mean we should.