In this North America culture, there is the idea that one cannot be happy without large amounts of money.
And so there is a culture in front of us, of people being driven to succeed at all costs.
This is often at the expense of time with our families, our own well being and happiness.
Now, do not get me wrong, I want financial freedom just as much as the next person, but I have lived enough life now to know that my happiness is my number one goal.
My definition of being successful in life or in a home based business means being happy.
I have seen too many financially successful business people who are miserable, driven and have workaholic symptoms.
One home based business person, who I was in touch with a short while ago, made millions of dollars in the past couple of years.
And when asked about that she stated, "I work 7 days a week, I work all the time.
" And then she went on to say that she was lazy because she took a much needed break and relaxed after this intense time of work..
Now most people go into a home based business in order to get some flexibility and time freedom into their lives.
Their initial intention was a desire to travel and hike or ski more.
The want a life that they control.
They want to have more fun.
What I have noticed among many home based business people is that they actually have less time freedom.
They feel guilty if they take time out for fun and pleasure.
It is as if they are fixated and just cannot relax or take a break without feeling bad about it.
They are driven in unhealthy ways!! I will discuss three way here today.
The first group is driven "to achieve" at all costs.
It is the feeling of not being able to get off of the wheel of doing and they cannot see past that.
They will do anything to achieve yet another deal, goal, project or book written.
It is an inner drivenness of thinking that when they get this next deal, then they will feel better.
This is often at the expense of their own inner alignment, their health and/or relationships.
Another group is driven to be helpful.
This person cannot stop helping others.
They would rather be helpful to someone than be happy.
They feel that helping others will help them feel better but when one is fixated on helping, it never feels good.
One woman I knew was so driven to help others, she ended up going into the hospital suffering from such fatigue, she was told to take 3 months of bed rest or her life was in danger.
The last group, we will discuss today, is the group who is driven to be right.
They would rather be right than happy.
This person has a hard time moving forward until everything is exactly right.
When they make a mistake they are their worst enemy.
Their self talk is harmful and detrimental to their spirits and their body.
They are also critical of others, so much so that their "being right" is often at the expense of good relationships with others.
But they are even more critical of themselves.
Sometimes people can play more than one of these roles at a time, so for example, having to be helpful and the achiever at the same time.
In each of these three patterns, if these people were to access the emotions behind their fixation, would discover a childhood memory that first set this pattern up in their lives.
These past memories set up patterns of behaviour that are unhealthy and harmful to our spirit.
I actually have suffered from each of these fixations at different times in my life, none of them are fun.
I am now trained in a body of work called Journey work.
When being trained, I was able to access the memories attached to these patterns of behaviour and release them, thus ending this destructive behaviour in my life.
True freedom comes when we always move towards that which makes us happy and feels good.
One is not free, even with a lot of money, if we are fixated on achieving, helping or being right at any cost.
There are other ways that we can get fixated as people and home based business owners, moving ourselves away from life's purpose of being joyful and happy.
I will address these in other upcoming articles on here and on my blogs.
Time to go for a hike!
And so there is a culture in front of us, of people being driven to succeed at all costs.
This is often at the expense of time with our families, our own well being and happiness.
Now, do not get me wrong, I want financial freedom just as much as the next person, but I have lived enough life now to know that my happiness is my number one goal.
My definition of being successful in life or in a home based business means being happy.
I have seen too many financially successful business people who are miserable, driven and have workaholic symptoms.
One home based business person, who I was in touch with a short while ago, made millions of dollars in the past couple of years.
And when asked about that she stated, "I work 7 days a week, I work all the time.
" And then she went on to say that she was lazy because she took a much needed break and relaxed after this intense time of work..
Now most people go into a home based business in order to get some flexibility and time freedom into their lives.
Their initial intention was a desire to travel and hike or ski more.
The want a life that they control.
They want to have more fun.
What I have noticed among many home based business people is that they actually have less time freedom.
They feel guilty if they take time out for fun and pleasure.
It is as if they are fixated and just cannot relax or take a break without feeling bad about it.
They are driven in unhealthy ways!! I will discuss three way here today.
The first group is driven "to achieve" at all costs.
It is the feeling of not being able to get off of the wheel of doing and they cannot see past that.
They will do anything to achieve yet another deal, goal, project or book written.
It is an inner drivenness of thinking that when they get this next deal, then they will feel better.
This is often at the expense of their own inner alignment, their health and/or relationships.
Another group is driven to be helpful.
This person cannot stop helping others.
They would rather be helpful to someone than be happy.
They feel that helping others will help them feel better but when one is fixated on helping, it never feels good.
One woman I knew was so driven to help others, she ended up going into the hospital suffering from such fatigue, she was told to take 3 months of bed rest or her life was in danger.
The last group, we will discuss today, is the group who is driven to be right.
They would rather be right than happy.
This person has a hard time moving forward until everything is exactly right.
When they make a mistake they are their worst enemy.
Their self talk is harmful and detrimental to their spirits and their body.
They are also critical of others, so much so that their "being right" is often at the expense of good relationships with others.
But they are even more critical of themselves.
Sometimes people can play more than one of these roles at a time, so for example, having to be helpful and the achiever at the same time.
In each of these three patterns, if these people were to access the emotions behind their fixation, would discover a childhood memory that first set this pattern up in their lives.
These past memories set up patterns of behaviour that are unhealthy and harmful to our spirit.
I actually have suffered from each of these fixations at different times in my life, none of them are fun.
I am now trained in a body of work called Journey work.
When being trained, I was able to access the memories attached to these patterns of behaviour and release them, thus ending this destructive behaviour in my life.
True freedom comes when we always move towards that which makes us happy and feels good.
One is not free, even with a lot of money, if we are fixated on achieving, helping or being right at any cost.
There are other ways that we can get fixated as people and home based business owners, moving ourselves away from life's purpose of being joyful and happy.
I will address these in other upcoming articles on here and on my blogs.
Time to go for a hike!