Wedding Lists: The bride and her family are in charge of compiling the list of those to be invited to the wedding, a task that should be done at least 10 weeks before the event.
Half of the invitations should go to the family and friends of the groom.
About 10 percent of the people you invite will not be able to accept.
Include those you know cannot come.
More people may be invited to the reception than to the religious ceremony (or the other way around).
Invitations: The formality of the invitation should match the formality of the wedding itself.
For a formal wedding, printed (less expensive) or engraved (more elegant) invitations are appropriate.
Handwritten notes on white paper suit less formal weddings.
Order invitations 8-10 weeks before the wedding; send them 6-8 weeks before the wedding.
Those cut from the wedding list should receive wedding announcements.
Envelopes should be addressed by hand even if other people are paying for the wedding, the bride's parents traditionally "request the honor" on the invitations.
Wording of the Invitation: Perhaps no other invitation has inspired as much advice, turmoil and controversy as the wedding invitation.
Who should issue it? What wording should be used- the usual, or something interesting that expresses the feelings of the bridal couple? Should it be handwritten, engraved, printed? Handwritten invitations are the most informal.
And while engraved invitations are elegant, printed ones are quite proper.
As for other questions, debate rages.
It is up to you, after all.
However, if you stray from traditional wording, make sure that your invitation is clear about what people are being invited to (church, reception, both), who is marrying whom, where the event or events will take place, and when the events will take place.
Proofread your invitation before you have it duplicated and sent out.
And you might think about what future generations will say about it before you become too creative.
To guests: Those invited should respond to the invitation with acceptance or regrets.
The formality of the wording should match the formality of the invitation.
Don't bring uninvited dates or children to a wedding.
Wedding announcements: Wedding announcements are sent on the day of the wedding or shortly thereafter to people who would want to know about the wedding but would not expect to attend.
They are similar to invitations except for some changes in wording.
At-Home Cards: At-Home cards many accompany the invitation or announcement.
They give the bridal couple's new address and state when they will be in residence.
This information is useful to friends of the couple, especially those who send late presents.
Gifts: Listing choices in bridal registries in stories is still considered suitable.
Once you receive gifts, you may display them on a large table with donors' cards attached (expect for checks and money).
You may type a list of people who sent checks (but without amounts).
Thank-you notes should be written within three months of the wedding.
If the wedding is called off, you must return the gifts with a note.
To guests: Though you are obligated to give presents only to people getting married for the first time, a gift is never wrong.
It is not crass to ask the bridal couple what they need or to buy an expensive gift with someone else.
Send the gift right after you receive the invitation.
Don't bring the present to the reception-send it to the couple's home or home of the bride's parents.
(Some etiquette experts reluctantly allow you to bring presents to the reception).
Who Pays: Traditionally, the bride's family pays for most of the wedding costs.
The groom's family pays for the clergyman's fee, tips for altar boys, bride's rings, expenses for ushers, bachelor dinner and rehearsal dinner, honeymoon, corsages for family members, and the bride's going away corsage.
Bridesmaids and ushers pay for clothing, transportation to and from the town in which the wedding was held, a gift to the couple, and a group gift to person they were attending.
Often ushers give the bachelor dinner.
At the wedding site, all the attendants' expenses are paid by whoever is paying for the wedding.
Out-of-town guests pay for their own accommodations and a gift to the couple.
Today, the people who can best afford it (including the groom's parents or even the bridal couple themselves) may pay for the wedding.
The bride and her mother make the wedding plans, however.
Half of the invitations should go to the family and friends of the groom.
About 10 percent of the people you invite will not be able to accept.
Include those you know cannot come.
More people may be invited to the reception than to the religious ceremony (or the other way around).
Invitations: The formality of the invitation should match the formality of the wedding itself.
For a formal wedding, printed (less expensive) or engraved (more elegant) invitations are appropriate.
Handwritten notes on white paper suit less formal weddings.
Order invitations 8-10 weeks before the wedding; send them 6-8 weeks before the wedding.
Those cut from the wedding list should receive wedding announcements.
Envelopes should be addressed by hand even if other people are paying for the wedding, the bride's parents traditionally "request the honor" on the invitations.
Wording of the Invitation: Perhaps no other invitation has inspired as much advice, turmoil and controversy as the wedding invitation.
Who should issue it? What wording should be used- the usual, or something interesting that expresses the feelings of the bridal couple? Should it be handwritten, engraved, printed? Handwritten invitations are the most informal.
And while engraved invitations are elegant, printed ones are quite proper.
As for other questions, debate rages.
It is up to you, after all.
However, if you stray from traditional wording, make sure that your invitation is clear about what people are being invited to (church, reception, both), who is marrying whom, where the event or events will take place, and when the events will take place.
Proofread your invitation before you have it duplicated and sent out.
And you might think about what future generations will say about it before you become too creative.
To guests: Those invited should respond to the invitation with acceptance or regrets.
The formality of the wording should match the formality of the invitation.
Don't bring uninvited dates or children to a wedding.
Wedding announcements: Wedding announcements are sent on the day of the wedding or shortly thereafter to people who would want to know about the wedding but would not expect to attend.
They are similar to invitations except for some changes in wording.
At-Home Cards: At-Home cards many accompany the invitation or announcement.
They give the bridal couple's new address and state when they will be in residence.
This information is useful to friends of the couple, especially those who send late presents.
Gifts: Listing choices in bridal registries in stories is still considered suitable.
Once you receive gifts, you may display them on a large table with donors' cards attached (expect for checks and money).
You may type a list of people who sent checks (but without amounts).
Thank-you notes should be written within three months of the wedding.
If the wedding is called off, you must return the gifts with a note.
To guests: Though you are obligated to give presents only to people getting married for the first time, a gift is never wrong.
It is not crass to ask the bridal couple what they need or to buy an expensive gift with someone else.
Send the gift right after you receive the invitation.
Don't bring the present to the reception-send it to the couple's home or home of the bride's parents.
(Some etiquette experts reluctantly allow you to bring presents to the reception).
Who Pays: Traditionally, the bride's family pays for most of the wedding costs.
The groom's family pays for the clergyman's fee, tips for altar boys, bride's rings, expenses for ushers, bachelor dinner and rehearsal dinner, honeymoon, corsages for family members, and the bride's going away corsage.
Bridesmaids and ushers pay for clothing, transportation to and from the town in which the wedding was held, a gift to the couple, and a group gift to person they were attending.
Often ushers give the bachelor dinner.
At the wedding site, all the attendants' expenses are paid by whoever is paying for the wedding.
Out-of-town guests pay for their own accommodations and a gift to the couple.
Today, the people who can best afford it (including the groom's parents or even the bridal couple themselves) may pay for the wedding.
The bride and her mother make the wedding plans, however.