How To Survive An Affair, Find Out What To Avoid To Save The Relationship
When learned that a partner was unfaithful, it is fairly typical for most people to do everything to salvage the partnership. Some will resort to making promises that they will change, even if the partner was the one who did the wrong deed.
As the one who is betrayed, you are more likely to experience dysfunction in your normal life as a result of emotional tension. For many it will even show itself physically like loss or gain of weight. This is because, when a partner had betrayed you, this makes you rethink and pay more attention to the relationship. Out of desperation, the first thing that most people will try is to get things back the way they were. What follows are typically the need to accommodate or changing normal behaviors to suit their perception of what the partner wants to stay the partnership.
However, the problem with this is, it usually doesn't last. This is more of a reaction to a difficult situation instead of tackling the root of the problem. When things cooled off and are less dramatic, they will be right back to the usual self as before.. What started as an effort to salvage the relationship became something that can be taken against you. Your partner soon recognized that those changes and claims made, were used to influence them to stay. It will create suspicion and lack of trust. Your partner will resent you and feel cornered that it will create a bigger crack in the already failing relationship.
Once resentment builds in the relationship, what follows is absence of respect that may be devastating for any relationship. They might have an inkling that you are using emotional tactics to make them stay, many people are aware of this. But they may stick around out of pity or even unsure about ending it. Even so in the long run, they will realized that being with you may not be the best thing to do, particularly when the respect is gone. Your desperation and clinging will be a turn-off.
So how should you overcome this?
Don't react immediately because it will be just a fear response more than anything. Even though it is overwhelming, remember that it is not the end of the world. Gather yourself and have a sit down session making sure that both of you can talk things out. Identify what's wrong in the relationship even if it's hard to do. Pay attention to what your partner has to express and accept any responsibility that had caused the crack in the first place. Should you choose to do this first, this will make it easier to get the other party to do the same. Make an effort to reach for an agreement for the situation. If you find it too challenging, look at getting a professional counselor to be included.
Infidelity is certainly not easy. There are lots of hidden things that may be involve as opposed to just a partner behaving poorly. This is especially true in this day and age where external elements rule our lives and we forget what is really important. If the relationship began with love and respect, it could still be in there. If it's still of a value to you, do whatever it takes to fix it, even if you are not the one in the wrong.
As the one who is betrayed, you are more likely to experience dysfunction in your normal life as a result of emotional tension. For many it will even show itself physically like loss or gain of weight. This is because, when a partner had betrayed you, this makes you rethink and pay more attention to the relationship. Out of desperation, the first thing that most people will try is to get things back the way they were. What follows are typically the need to accommodate or changing normal behaviors to suit their perception of what the partner wants to stay the partnership.
However, the problem with this is, it usually doesn't last. This is more of a reaction to a difficult situation instead of tackling the root of the problem. When things cooled off and are less dramatic, they will be right back to the usual self as before.. What started as an effort to salvage the relationship became something that can be taken against you. Your partner soon recognized that those changes and claims made, were used to influence them to stay. It will create suspicion and lack of trust. Your partner will resent you and feel cornered that it will create a bigger crack in the already failing relationship.
Once resentment builds in the relationship, what follows is absence of respect that may be devastating for any relationship. They might have an inkling that you are using emotional tactics to make them stay, many people are aware of this. But they may stick around out of pity or even unsure about ending it. Even so in the long run, they will realized that being with you may not be the best thing to do, particularly when the respect is gone. Your desperation and clinging will be a turn-off.
So how should you overcome this?
Don't react immediately because it will be just a fear response more than anything. Even though it is overwhelming, remember that it is not the end of the world. Gather yourself and have a sit down session making sure that both of you can talk things out. Identify what's wrong in the relationship even if it's hard to do. Pay attention to what your partner has to express and accept any responsibility that had caused the crack in the first place. Should you choose to do this first, this will make it easier to get the other party to do the same. Make an effort to reach for an agreement for the situation. If you find it too challenging, look at getting a professional counselor to be included.
Infidelity is certainly not easy. There are lots of hidden things that may be involve as opposed to just a partner behaving poorly. This is especially true in this day and age where external elements rule our lives and we forget what is really important. If the relationship began with love and respect, it could still be in there. If it's still of a value to you, do whatever it takes to fix it, even if you are not the one in the wrong.