At first glance, this list may read like a dating how-to article.
Thankfully my dating days are a distant memory, but establishing and nurturing relationships is still an essential part of my life.
While many approaches to building professional relationships remain consistent, the way we communicate has changed drastically.
With face time at a minimum, much of our day-to-day exchanges take place via email, which introduces the tremendous potential for misinterpretation, as well as a ripe environment for bad etiquette.
Instead of bad pick-up lines, we have bad subject lines and in place of the drunk guy you can't get rid of at a bar, you have incessant and overly verbose emailers who just don't know when to quit copying you.
You don't want to be that person who doesn't know the rules (or just chooses to ignore them).
In an effort to avoid being blacklisted by your colleagues, here's a few guidelines for better email communications:

1. Size DOES matter - and shorter is better.
   No one ever complains that an email is too short or to the point, but too long? That's a problem.
   You may have noticed that the higher someone's position is, the shorter his or her emails are.
   Is it because they're too busy? Maybe.
   Is it because they have more important things to do than spend 30 minutes crafting "the perfect email?" Probably.
   Is it because they've learned to boil emails down to only the necessary elements? Absolutely.
   Chances are if you write long rambling emails, you aren't the one in the corner office.
   But you can change that.
   Start by chopping out unnecessary words, phrases and clauses, as well as self-serving details.
   Here are some examples.
   (The italicized words are unnecessary and add nothing to the value of the sentence.
   ) Example #1: In my opinion, Bob is an excellent communicator and I think he should be recommended for this very important role.
   Example #2:Honestly, I believe that this whole entire situation should be cleared up by reaching out with a simple phone call.
   The ideal email should include a greeting, one to three sentences to give details, then a call to action.
   If your emails have paragraphs, you need to get to the point quicker.
   Everyone will be glad you did.
   And you'll be seen as a more efficient person.
   
2. Tell me what you want.
   What's the purpose of your email? What do you want the reader to do? Be specific.
   If you want them to review a document, ask them to do so, but be sure to include a deadline for the review (e.
   g.
   "9/27 by 5pm" not "sometime next week") and what feedback you require.
   If you want them to track changes, say it.
   If you just want an overall opinion, tell them.
   If including this level of detail seems overly demanding or unnecessary, I offer the following reasoning: by letting someone know your exact expectations, you are telling them that 1) you are decisive, 2) your email has a clear purpose, and 3) you respect their time enough to get to the point.
   
3. Remove your ego.
   Everyday business email is not the place to "one up" or get even with people.
   As you write, ask yourself if you are including information or copying an additional person just to get a "dig" in or to make sure the recipients know how much more work you did than your peer.
   If so, take it out.
   Resist the urge to include the email equivalent of saying "I told you so," "look at what I did!" or "no fair!" Readers can see right through this.
   The point you think you're making will be overshadowed by your blatant display of insecurity.
   Keep it factual and professional.
   
4. What's your number? Include full contact information in your signature.
   Not only your name, title and email, but also your address, phone number, web site (make sure the link is live!) and links to your social media profiles (also live!).
   I admit this is one of my pet peeves.
   I hate having to leave my email program and click through my address book to look up phone numbers.
   In this day and age, it shouldn't be necessary.
   Put it right in front of me.
   I'm amazed how many people sign off using only their first name.
   Are you trying to be anonymous or do you just not know how to set up your email signature? By putting all pertinent info in your signature, not only do you make communication easier, but you can use this space to promote your business and yourself.
   
5. Watch your tone.
   It's easy for things to get misconstrued via email.
   People can't see your facial expressions and body language.
   What may roll off someone's back in face-to-face conversation could easily offend him or her via email when there's no smile or back slap accompanying it.
   If you are handling a delicate situation, try to have the discussion in person or at least via phone where your voice can diffuse a potentially tense exchange.
   If you have to address the issue in email (and having a record of it is one good reason for doing this), stick to the facts and avoid finger pointing or accusatory language.
   Keep it brief and professional, and have a trusted colleague look it over before you send it.
   There's no shame in having someone else review your emails to offer an objective critique.
   It's better than ruffling feathers unnecessarily.
   
6. Stay active.
   You may not have the finesse of Tony Robbins in spoken communications, but written communications give you the opportunity to polish your delivery beforehand.
   Take the time to make sure you're being specific, decisive and clear.
   Use active words whenever possible for stronger sentences (e.
   g.
   "John has started to show signs of improvement in...
   " is conveyed more strongly as "John demonstrated marked improvement in...
   ").
   This will usually shorten your emails too.
   Many people - particularly women - tend to "soften" requests or statements by adding passive phrases.
   While I'm sure most executive women are all-too-aware of the fine line between being assertive and being bitchy, using short, active sentences does not have to cross that line.
   Being clear and direct is strong.
   Being wordy and apologetic is not.
   Example of passive versus active wording: PASSIVE: "Please try to put together the report for me by the end of the week if possible.
   " ACTIVE: "Please submit the report to me by 4pm on Friday.
   "
7. Use some discretion.
   Most professionals get way more emails than they need.
   Don't contribute to their already overflowing inboxes by copying and blind-copying everyone on every email about every project.
   Some people copy their boss to let them know they were working late or to appear proactive.
   My suggestion? Be more concerned about the value you are truly adding, not just the perception based on email traffic.
   Consider who really needs to have the information in your email and leave off those who "may be interested to know about it.
   " Also keep #3 in mind as you decide who to copy.
   

And to round out this list, I offer you two of my favorite Cover-Your-Ass (CYA) Tips:

• CYA Tip #1: Have you ever been writing an emotionally charged email only to accidentally hit send before finishing? The result can range from mildly embarrassing to career ending.
  To avoid this deadly mistake, make it a habit to leave the "To" field blank until you're ready to send.
  Not entering a recipient's email address will force your computer to ask you who to send it to before blasting it off prematurely.
  
• CYA Tip #2: When composing emails, always read them aloud once before sending, deliberately speaking each word.
  When you read sentences in your head, your mind automatically fills in missing or incorrect words, so you aren't as likely to catch mistakes.
  Actually mouthing the words will help you proofread more effectively.
  NOTE: Do this quietly if you are around other people.
  While talking to yourself is perfectly acceptable, doing it loudly in front of others just makes you look crazy.
  

More and more business structures are relying on email as a primary way to build and maintain relationships.
If you treat it casually, you're missing a golden opportunity to put your best foot forward.
Regardless of your title, a concise, targeted communication style coupled with complete and factual information will bring your emails to a higher level.
And being a savvy communicator is always good for relationships.