- 1). Understand why your stepdaughter feels jealous. Although it may be tempting to take offense at her jealousy, it's important to put yourself in "her shoes," and try to ascertain what elements of the situation may be particularly threatening to her. A multitude of factors might be contributing to her feeling threatened, but it mightly simply be linked to your stepdaughter's belief that her relationship with her parent is being undermined by your presence.
- 2). Consider whether you have done anything to increase her feelings of jealousy. If the jealousy seemed to begin after a certain event or point in time, think back about what could have triggered or exasperated the situation. If you can pinpoint a few occasions where your own behavior could have been more generous toward her, this will help you appear understanding and adaptable when you communicate with your stepdaughter.
- 3). Request to speak with your stepdaughter. You should find a time when you'll both be free to talk openly, free of any distractions. Preferably you should have the conversation one-on-one, as this will put you both on "equal footing" and prevent her feeling as if you and her parent are putting her in a corner.
- 4). Find common ground. Tell your stepdaughter that you'd like to work on your communication with one another to resolve any problems or tension between you. Suggest a few occasions where you believe your own behavior could have improved the situation, and also mention some circumstances where you feel that she could have been more aware of your feelings. This might be a difficult conversation, and it is unlikely that the problem will be entirely resolved; consider having regular "catch-up" conversations with your stepdaughter to talk about how things are going, and to further advance the communication between one another.
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