Dating Strategies: When to Say No and End the Relationship

The majority of people who are unhappy in their marriages will admit that they ignored warning signs in the beginning of their relationship. These warning signs, while not as intense or obvious as the problems in the marriage, were precursors and indicators of what was to come. Many live with regrets and wish that they would have paid better attention and ended the relationship before the marriage occurred.

Dating is the time during which you get to know the person that you are interested in spending the rest of your life with, but it is not a marital contract. You are free to end the relationship if and when any doubts arise. In fact, dating is supposed to be a process of elimination. Without it, we would marry anyone who caught our initial fancy and live with the devastating consequences that our rash decisions brought.

But it can be difficult to determine what issues should end the relationship and which ones can be dealt with and solved. The following are issues that should end the relationship:

• Infidelity – If a prospective mate cheats on you during the blush of your relationship when everything is new and exciting, do you think they will not cheat on you when things are routine? The truth is that if someone will cheat on you once, there is the possibility that it will happen again.
• Lying – Dishonesty has no place in a relationship, and even small lies can add up. If the person who professes to love you is lying to you, you can be sure that there are bigger issues being hidden by the lies.
• Control and Anger – If your partner feels the need to control you and display uncontrolled anger with you, there are major problems in the relationship. You may even be dealing with an abuser. Remember; most abusers do not start abusing until the relationship has matured.
• Pressure to Conform – If you feel pressured to have sex or to do anything else that is contrary to your conscience and belief system, you should end the relationship. Someone who truly loves you will not ask you to violate your morals.
• Incompatibility – For a relationship to blossom, you have to have things in common. If you cannot agree on anything or find anything in common, you might want to seriously think about ending the relationship.

Sometimes other doubts can arise while you are dating someone. If these doubts are persistent, you should talk to your partner about them. If you cannot resolve them, you will need to decide if they are serious enough to end the relationship. Keep in mind that problems become more pronounced and intense during marriage. So do not belittle your concerns or sweep them under the rug. The very fact that you have concerns should be cause for concern. And you need to address those concerns before you take the relationship to the next level