Ah, romance.
It is hard to define, but you know when you've got it, right? It is that magical, tingly, intoxicating feeling you get when you are in the presence of your lover.
It's not being able to wait to see her again, sending her flowers unexpectedly, cooking up his favorite meal instead of going out, not being able to stop thinking about him/her, and being so crazy about him that you can't concentrate on your work.
OK, you know what it is.
Or was.
Did it gradually leak out of your relationship, to the point that you now wonder how to be romantic, or worse, what is romance anyway? Ummm..
..
can you even remember those heady, early days? If you have a leaky relationship, or have already separated, you may need to re-inject some romance and excitement into your coupledom.
How do you do that? By getting back to basics, for starters.
1.
What is romance? Let us count the ways.
It is not fighting or arguing all the time.
That creates distance between you, and kills love and intimacy.
So try this.
Do not fight about the little things, like who forgot to return the DVD to the video store, or whose turn it is to wash the car.
Make the extra effort and just do it.
For the big things that you really must discuss, learn to fight fair.
No name-calling, no personal insults, no bringing up the past.
Keep calm, and stick to the facts.
Paste a smile in the middle of your face, and go right ahead...
gently and lovingly! 2.
Always look neat, clean and attractive or handsome.
Do not get lazy or messy, even though you are comfortable and familiar with your mate.
Try not to spend the whole evening in the bath, or the entire morning mowing the lawn.
Spend the time relaxing and talking to your partner, and reconnecting with him or her.
Keep making the same efforts you made in those early dating and getting-to-know-you days.
That, after all, is the person your mate fell in love with.
Dig that person out again, and dust him off.
Give him a good shake to smarten up a bit, and put him on display again.
3.
One way to answer the question, What is romance? is to say what it is not.
It is NOT drinking too much beer or gaining weight, or skipping your exercise routine.
Or loading up on quick junk food.
This is not how to be romantic, because it lowers your general health and energy and can lead to insomnia, aggressiveness and impatience with your loved one.
None of this is good, so take care of your body.
It is the only one you've got, or will ever have.
And while we are on the subject, take care of your mate's body too.
Watch for any changes he or she might not notice.
Now that you have these basic steps down pat, you can graduate to the individual things you know your mate likes, such as long walks along the lake, snuggling in front of the fireplace, or just whispering a quick "I love you" in her ear.
Keep doing all these things until they become an automatic part of your daily life.
Then go on doing them forever!
It is hard to define, but you know when you've got it, right? It is that magical, tingly, intoxicating feeling you get when you are in the presence of your lover.
It's not being able to wait to see her again, sending her flowers unexpectedly, cooking up his favorite meal instead of going out, not being able to stop thinking about him/her, and being so crazy about him that you can't concentrate on your work.
OK, you know what it is.
Or was.
Did it gradually leak out of your relationship, to the point that you now wonder how to be romantic, or worse, what is romance anyway? Ummm..
..
can you even remember those heady, early days? If you have a leaky relationship, or have already separated, you may need to re-inject some romance and excitement into your coupledom.
How do you do that? By getting back to basics, for starters.
1.
What is romance? Let us count the ways.
It is not fighting or arguing all the time.
That creates distance between you, and kills love and intimacy.
So try this.
Do not fight about the little things, like who forgot to return the DVD to the video store, or whose turn it is to wash the car.
Make the extra effort and just do it.
For the big things that you really must discuss, learn to fight fair.
No name-calling, no personal insults, no bringing up the past.
Keep calm, and stick to the facts.
Paste a smile in the middle of your face, and go right ahead...
gently and lovingly! 2.
Always look neat, clean and attractive or handsome.
Do not get lazy or messy, even though you are comfortable and familiar with your mate.
Try not to spend the whole evening in the bath, or the entire morning mowing the lawn.
Spend the time relaxing and talking to your partner, and reconnecting with him or her.
Keep making the same efforts you made in those early dating and getting-to-know-you days.
That, after all, is the person your mate fell in love with.
Dig that person out again, and dust him off.
Give him a good shake to smarten up a bit, and put him on display again.
3.
One way to answer the question, What is romance? is to say what it is not.
It is NOT drinking too much beer or gaining weight, or skipping your exercise routine.
Or loading up on quick junk food.
This is not how to be romantic, because it lowers your general health and energy and can lead to insomnia, aggressiveness and impatience with your loved one.
None of this is good, so take care of your body.
It is the only one you've got, or will ever have.
And while we are on the subject, take care of your mate's body too.
Watch for any changes he or she might not notice.
Now that you have these basic steps down pat, you can graduate to the individual things you know your mate likes, such as long walks along the lake, snuggling in front of the fireplace, or just whispering a quick "I love you" in her ear.
Keep doing all these things until they become an automatic part of your daily life.
Then go on doing them forever!