Many would agree there's a need for Black men and ladies to come together and work towards healing our relationships. Black people have rock bottom wedding rates and the best divorce rates. Where approximately 60% of white adults marry, solely 40% of Black adults marry. And only one-third of Black kids grow old in two parent homes. Passing blame and purpose fingers only hinders our progress. We have a tendency to want to come back together and communicate brazenly and honestly to work out ways in which to bridge the communication gap that destroys our relationships.
For the past 3 years, I have been involved with forming roundtable discussion teams titled, 'Withholding the Ring' that addresses the low wedding rate among African Americans. I've got met many Black women in their late thirties and even early forties that are worried regarding their prospects of ever obtaining married. A number of these girls have utterly given up on their wedding ideals and opted to possess kids outside of marriage. The prevailing message suggests that it is additional seemingly for Black women to become mothers than wives.
The roundtable discussions I facilitate give safe environments for men and ladies to honesty discuss the issues that affect how we have a tendency to relate to one another. The men have reported to me that the events leave them actually tormented by how their non-committal behavior affects women. And a number of the ladies have come back back to me and confessed that they did not realize how abundant they truly needed their men until we have a tendency to all came along and in truth communicated.
I would like to share some of the events that happen during these roundtable discussions in hopes of inspiring others to take up the cause. These aren't dating events but rather bonding events that bring Black men and girls together as friends first. The main target is rarely on 'hooking up' however rather on how we have a tendency to can build stronger, trusting, lasting relationships.
Ice Breaker
The event begins with a series of icebreakers. One in every of my favorite icebreakers is when everybody has got to exchange a friendly hug when introducing themselves. The participants also are asked to state what they hope to take aloof from the discussions.
Ground Rules
We go over temporary rules of conduct prior to the discussions. There are also handouts provided, that remind the participants to be respectful in their comments and responses.
Openers
In the start, some people might be jumpy, not very knowing what to expect, so I try to form the discussion fun and interactive. A fun opener is when the lads are asked to position queries in a container addressed to the girls and also the ladies place their queries in a separate container addressed to the men. The questions are passed round the table, which affords everyone the chance to participate in the conversation and it serves as a good approach to get everybody warmed up.
Exercises
I arrange many exercises during the roundtable discussions however a favorite is what I call "Love Affirmations". I raise the lads and ladies to select names from separate containers. The women will choose men and the boys can opt for women. The boys are asked to get down on bended knee and profess their love for Black ladies and also the girls in exchange profess their love for Black men. They have to each begin their statement with "I like you Black Man because..." and they're left to fill in the blank. This has nothing to try and do with romance. I designed this exercise to encourage an environment of unity and to drive home the message that this is often not a women vs. men forum. "Love Affirmations" is often a success and never fails to draw a few tears. However, they are sensible tears. Healing tears that bring us nearer to understanding how Black men and girls will improve their relationships.
Thus, that's a fast run through of some of the techniques I take advantage of to encourage the dialogue. If you are curious about starting your own roundtable discussions, these are great ways in which to get the talks underway. Complaining can get us nowhere however positive communication can cause stronger friendships, relationships and marriages. It all has to start somewhere and we tend to all have our part.
For the past 3 years, I have been involved with forming roundtable discussion teams titled, 'Withholding the Ring' that addresses the low wedding rate among African Americans. I've got met many Black women in their late thirties and even early forties that are worried regarding their prospects of ever obtaining married. A number of these girls have utterly given up on their wedding ideals and opted to possess kids outside of marriage. The prevailing message suggests that it is additional seemingly for Black women to become mothers than wives.
The roundtable discussions I facilitate give safe environments for men and ladies to honesty discuss the issues that affect how we have a tendency to relate to one another. The men have reported to me that the events leave them actually tormented by how their non-committal behavior affects women. And a number of the ladies have come back back to me and confessed that they did not realize how abundant they truly needed their men until we have a tendency to all came along and in truth communicated.
I would like to share some of the events that happen during these roundtable discussions in hopes of inspiring others to take up the cause. These aren't dating events but rather bonding events that bring Black men and girls together as friends first. The main target is rarely on 'hooking up' however rather on how we have a tendency to can build stronger, trusting, lasting relationships.
Ice Breaker
The event begins with a series of icebreakers. One in every of my favorite icebreakers is when everybody has got to exchange a friendly hug when introducing themselves. The participants also are asked to state what they hope to take aloof from the discussions.
Ground Rules
We go over temporary rules of conduct prior to the discussions. There are also handouts provided, that remind the participants to be respectful in their comments and responses.
Openers
In the start, some people might be jumpy, not very knowing what to expect, so I try to form the discussion fun and interactive. A fun opener is when the lads are asked to position queries in a container addressed to the girls and also the ladies place their queries in a separate container addressed to the men. The questions are passed round the table, which affords everyone the chance to participate in the conversation and it serves as a good approach to get everybody warmed up.
Exercises
I arrange many exercises during the roundtable discussions however a favorite is what I call "Love Affirmations". I raise the lads and ladies to select names from separate containers. The women will choose men and the boys can opt for women. The boys are asked to get down on bended knee and profess their love for Black ladies and also the girls in exchange profess their love for Black men. They have to each begin their statement with "I like you Black Man because..." and they're left to fill in the blank. This has nothing to try and do with romance. I designed this exercise to encourage an environment of unity and to drive home the message that this is often not a women vs. men forum. "Love Affirmations" is often a success and never fails to draw a few tears. However, they are sensible tears. Healing tears that bring us nearer to understanding how Black men and girls will improve their relationships.
Thus, that's a fast run through of some of the techniques I take advantage of to encourage the dialogue. If you are curious about starting your own roundtable discussions, these are great ways in which to get the talks underway. Complaining can get us nowhere however positive communication can cause stronger friendships, relationships and marriages. It all has to start somewhere and we tend to all have our part.