Welcome to Part two of my little series and today I would like to touch base on the simple things that are critical to a relationship yet are often ignored.
Communication, mutual respect, and honesty are the main points I will hit on today.
Okay, communication.
Thomas and I are not always the best at this but we are MUCH better than we used to be, and the following is how we improved and I guarantee if you try it you will work! The talking stick method was taught to us by a marriage mediator we went to in a time of turmoil.
It's so simple to do; find anything you can pass back and forth (stick, pen, paperweight,ect).
You start by holding hands and saying to each other "I love you, and I am committed to this relationship".
Then one of you will take the "stick" and while keeping it short explain any feelings and issues that you feel are hindering a better relationship.
Keep it limited to 5 min, don't worry...
there is no time limit so you can pass it back and forth until you're done.
Once that 5 minutes are over and the person has spoke their mind UNINTERRUPTED it's now time for the other one to recap what they heard.
It doesn't have to be the exact words, summarize it.
This excersize just ensures that what was being said and what was being actually heard are the same thing.
It's now time for the person that just recapped to have their 5 minutes.
At the end, the other will recap.
You do this over and over until you both feel like you've got somewhere.
Try it! It works, yet so simple.
Now for mutual respect; do any of you honestly think that any relationship can survive without a respect for one another.
I still don't get it when I see wives putting their husbands down, and visa versa, it's awful.
Where is the love in that? If you or your partner have lost respect for each other somewhere along the way it's time to reconnect because you're currently getting nowhere.
And finally, honesty.
"What they don't know won't hurt them" is a horrible horrible saying.
Because truth is, it will hurt them.
The truth ALWAYS comes out in the end and you're left with a lifetime of a lie that turned into many more little lies; it could literally go on and on.
You're not truly respecting your partner either if you're lying to them.
I hope that helps any of you feeling like you could use a pick me up! Peace Out -MamaK- "If the grass is greener on the other side, water your lawn"
Communication, mutual respect, and honesty are the main points I will hit on today.
Okay, communication.
Thomas and I are not always the best at this but we are MUCH better than we used to be, and the following is how we improved and I guarantee if you try it you will work! The talking stick method was taught to us by a marriage mediator we went to in a time of turmoil.
It's so simple to do; find anything you can pass back and forth (stick, pen, paperweight,ect).
You start by holding hands and saying to each other "I love you, and I am committed to this relationship".
Then one of you will take the "stick" and while keeping it short explain any feelings and issues that you feel are hindering a better relationship.
Keep it limited to 5 min, don't worry...
there is no time limit so you can pass it back and forth until you're done.
Once that 5 minutes are over and the person has spoke their mind UNINTERRUPTED it's now time for the other one to recap what they heard.
It doesn't have to be the exact words, summarize it.
This excersize just ensures that what was being said and what was being actually heard are the same thing.
It's now time for the person that just recapped to have their 5 minutes.
At the end, the other will recap.
You do this over and over until you both feel like you've got somewhere.
Try it! It works, yet so simple.
Now for mutual respect; do any of you honestly think that any relationship can survive without a respect for one another.
I still don't get it when I see wives putting their husbands down, and visa versa, it's awful.
Where is the love in that? If you or your partner have lost respect for each other somewhere along the way it's time to reconnect because you're currently getting nowhere.
And finally, honesty.
"What they don't know won't hurt them" is a horrible horrible saying.
Because truth is, it will hurt them.
The truth ALWAYS comes out in the end and you're left with a lifetime of a lie that turned into many more little lies; it could literally go on and on.
You're not truly respecting your partner either if you're lying to them.
I hope that helps any of you feeling like you could use a pick me up! Peace Out -MamaK- "If the grass is greener on the other side, water your lawn"