- 1). Open outlandishly (or with something remarkable, at least). Dave Barry, wrote in his column, "Traffic Woes Drive Us Crazy" opened: "Our traffic problems are getting worse, according to a recent study by the Institute of Discovering Things That Make You Go 'Duh.'" He captured the reader's attention and set the tone by speaking as though he was sitting next to the reader in his living room. Barry's wit was in full swing by the end of his first sentence. This, of course, takes some practice.
- 2). Keep the body warm (and interesting). People expect a columnist to express opinions. Don't be shy about that, but make sure to back opinion up with fact, or in Barry's case, solid reason. The body of Barry's column is brimming with factoids like, "Gridlock is so bad that as many as 15 percent of women drivers now pass the time by picking their noses. (The figure for men remains steady at 100 percent.)" He keeps the reader engaged and entertained as he builds to the conclusion.
- 3). Leave them the wiser. By the time the end of the column is reached, the good columnist has helped the reader see something from a new perspective. In Dave Barry's column, he wraps up with three alternatives to solving the traffic problem: carpooling, mass transit, or perhaps driving on sidewalks. He offers solutions, while keeping the reader chuckling and engaged until the very end.
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