Marital conflicts are inevitable. None of us are perfect, and even the best marriages are not immune to occasional difficulties. But when problems arise, the difference between a marriage that lasts and relationships that fall apart often depends on how we communicate with our spouse.
When issues in your marriage come to the surface and the arguments start, our first response is usually to throw up our defenses and shut out the blame and accusations, then retaliate with our own attacks and continue to escalate the already heated situation till someone storms out of the room. Maybe after things have calmed down we can go back to the way things were, but the issue has never really been resolved, so eventually the arguments come up again and again until finally the relationship has reached its breaking point.
In order to resolve conflicts before they do irreparable damage, you need to learn more effective ways of communicating. You need to approach the problems in a way that doesn’t immediately put your partner on the defensive, and allow your concerns to be heard and understood.
It is important to be able to tell your spouse what you’re feeling, and sometimes this may require some introspection on your own to understand what it is that you really feel. This can be difficult especially for men, who tend to be less emotional and usually keep their feelings on the inside. This doesn’t mean you have to suddenly begin gushing with emotion, but Just to say to your partner “That thing you did or said really hurt me” or made you feel disrespected. Throwing accusations at your spouse saying “You did this” or “You did that” will only trigger their defenses and the walls will go up, cutting off any hope of resolution.
It is likely your partner doesn’t see that their words or actions cause you to feel hurt, or unloved. If feelings are left unexpressed, your partner may not have the opportunity to change what they are doing or give you what you need. They may want to, but might not even realize how their actions effect you if it is not communicated without anger and blame.
Arguing or keeping things bottled up will only lead to resentment and frustration. Learning how to resolve conflicts in a manner that allows each other to express themselves without the fear of criticism, will go a long way in creating a more harmonious relationship.
So the next time those irritations come up, take a step back and search your feelings. Then approach your spouse without blame and anger, and tell them what you feel. You may be surprised at how they respond.
To learn more about marriage communication including step – by – step instruction for saving your marriage you can go to www.BetterMarriageToday.com [http://bettermarriagetoday.com]
When issues in your marriage come to the surface and the arguments start, our first response is usually to throw up our defenses and shut out the blame and accusations, then retaliate with our own attacks and continue to escalate the already heated situation till someone storms out of the room. Maybe after things have calmed down we can go back to the way things were, but the issue has never really been resolved, so eventually the arguments come up again and again until finally the relationship has reached its breaking point.
In order to resolve conflicts before they do irreparable damage, you need to learn more effective ways of communicating. You need to approach the problems in a way that doesn’t immediately put your partner on the defensive, and allow your concerns to be heard and understood.
It is important to be able to tell your spouse what you’re feeling, and sometimes this may require some introspection on your own to understand what it is that you really feel. This can be difficult especially for men, who tend to be less emotional and usually keep their feelings on the inside. This doesn’t mean you have to suddenly begin gushing with emotion, but Just to say to your partner “That thing you did or said really hurt me” or made you feel disrespected. Throwing accusations at your spouse saying “You did this” or “You did that” will only trigger their defenses and the walls will go up, cutting off any hope of resolution.
It is likely your partner doesn’t see that their words or actions cause you to feel hurt, or unloved. If feelings are left unexpressed, your partner may not have the opportunity to change what they are doing or give you what you need. They may want to, but might not even realize how their actions effect you if it is not communicated without anger and blame.
Arguing or keeping things bottled up will only lead to resentment and frustration. Learning how to resolve conflicts in a manner that allows each other to express themselves without the fear of criticism, will go a long way in creating a more harmonious relationship.
So the next time those irritations come up, take a step back and search your feelings. Then approach your spouse without blame and anger, and tell them what you feel. You may be surprised at how they respond.
To learn more about marriage communication including step – by – step instruction for saving your marriage you can go to www.BetterMarriageToday.com [http://bettermarriagetoday.com]