In Part 1 of Common Causes of Divorce, we discussed one important key to save your marriage, that key being the key of expectations.
We identified several aspects of this key, being broken down as the "his" and "her" expectations.
We also determined the bill of goods being sold during courtship is fulfilled less than 50% of the time.
Part 2 of Common Causes of Divorce will give depth and definition to her expectations.
These expectations are what she feels she wants and needs to be happy.
She thinks she will be/is unhappy because her expectations are not being met.
This part might be a discussion for another time.
She feels and experiences these expectations daily and she may not even be aware of them, but she must become aware of them if "you want to save your marriage.
" Why must you know what these expectations are? Because you cannot discuss them with your husband if you do not know what they are.
It is imperative you discuss your expectations if you want to stop a divorce from happening.
Understanding Your Own Expectations A Woman's Expectations of her husband 1.
Patience and understanding A woman needs to keep the family together.
She is naturally concerned about the physical and emotional needs of the family.
While the husband is more often concerned about taking care of his own needs.
She will work to keep the family connected.
This means the husband and the children.
It is not uncommon for the husband to ignore both the wife and children, leaving the raising of the children to the wife.
This means there is little interaction by the father with the children.
This can be very disturbing to the wife.
She may be accused of nagging if she is not careful how she tries to create an interaction with daddy and the children.
And he could become pretty ugly if he is of that temperament and pushed to do something not in his value system.
If your husband is not patient with your efforts to bring daddy and children together you can expect your stress level to skyrocket.
2.
To have everything you say listened to as if it matters If there is something guys struggle with it is listening to their wives.
Anything is more interesting than listening to a day of complaints about how everything is such a struggle or things generally not of interest to men.
You have fragile emotions easily damaged with the slightest hint of irritation or annoyance in the voice.
You want to be listened to without judgment no matter how long it takes you to say it or what it is you want to talk about.
3.
To be complemented and encouraged about everything you do, have done or ever will do You want your husband to look for the good in you.
You want good positive feedback about a job well done.
You do not want to go fishing for compliments.
You want him to notice and recognize your efforts; to give you credit for a job well done.
If you are not being encouraged, you will become emotionally starved by being ignored and taken for granted.
You will become resentful and bitter towards him.
4.
Total and complete support for whatever you value in life What do you value in life? Basically you value what your parents valued.
If they did not value or acted as if they did not value you by ignoring you or making you feel abandoned, you will probably feel insecure and have low self-esteem.
The chances are great you will treat your husband the same way your father was treated by your mother and you will treat your children the same way you were treated by your parents.
For the good, the bad and/or the ugly.
Whatever your parents values were/are will be yours as well, unless you do a reversal and go the opposite way by rejecting that value system.
In the end, you expect to have your values respected because they are your values.
You stole them fair and square.
If any of these expectations are ignored, it is a sure fire way to create stress in your life and become causes of divorce.
Remember, happiness is not getting what you want, it is wanting what you have.